My husband has serious hygiene issues

[Anonymous]

Could he be depressed?

[Anonymous]

My husband shaves about once a week, never gets haircuts, does not brush teeth daily, and his clothes look like they are from a rag bin. Nasty smelly hat at all times, baseball in summer, knit in winter. Glasses at least ten years old. I’ve given up. He shaves on the weekend and expects me to be all over him, ugh. Makes me cringe.

[Anonymous]

If this is a change in habits, a heath and mental health screen is in order. This is often one of the first warning signs of mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You married him—why?

I'm in my 40s and didn't want to be an old maid.

Whoops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a relatice with feces breath. He suffered from liver or kidney failure. I would have your husbands health checked. Change your toothpaste. When my husbands breath began to smell bad I switched from colgate to doctor bonners. I also used the trader joes. Improved things significantly. My husband had visited the dentist several times because i felt he had halitosis, the dentist said nothing was wrong. Sr bonners toothpaste worked.

Way off topic, but sigh. Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian. I need a good woman in my life to take charge and take of me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a relatice with feces breath. He suffered from liver or kidney failure. I would have your husbands health checked. Change your toothpaste. When my husbands breath began to smell bad I switched from colgate to doctor bonners. I also used the trader joes. Improved things significantly. My husband had visited the dentist several times because i felt he had halitosis, the dentist said nothing was wrong. Sr bonners toothpaste worked.

Way off topic, but sigh. Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian. I need a good woman in my life to take charge and take of me...

Same here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you not live together before you got married?

Most people don’t. It’s trashy.

Often wrong but never in doubt. In fact, 60% of those entering their first marriage in the United States are already cohabiting.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jomf.12530

Which means 40% don’t. Anyway, cohabiting couples have a higher divorce rate.

You said "most". Which the statistics show is objectively false.

Whether cohabitation leads to divorce vs actually protects against divorce is still an open debate. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/10/premarital-cohabitation-divorce/573817/

So you are a moron.

I said most instead of many, big deal. It certainly does increase divorce rates. Plus, it trashy. Not what I want my adult kids doing.

You will have absolutely no control over what your adult children do, especially when they’re in their 40s.

[Anonymous]

Leave now! He is so disrespectful to you. How can you live with him? I bet you have no couple friends. Do not have kids with this man! There are so many clean, and immaculate men out there; why would you settle for one with a stench? Call a lawyer and get the ball rolling.

[Anonymous]

Tell him you can wait to ha e sex with him after he takes a shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband shaves about once a week, never gets haircuts, does not brush teeth daily, and his clothes look like they are from a rag bin. Nasty smelly hat at all times, baseball in summer, knit in winter. Glasses at least ten years old. I’ve given up. He shaves on the weekend and expects me to be all over him, ugh. Makes me cringe.

Why do you stay with him? The lack of daily toothbrushing would be enough for me. So lazy and disrespectful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feces breath could be a serious health condition vs not brushing...

Probably tonsil stones.

[Anonymous]

OP — Does his personal care flaws impact his job? I would suggest joint dental visits three times a year to get him in the habit of going. The dentist should also recommend a mouth wash.

You have every right to expect him to do a daily shower and brush the teeth. Shaving might be something to let go until he is doing better on the other end.
I would suggest going shopping with him for a couple of nice outfits that would fit his job lifestyle and let up if he wears the ratty stuff around the house. Do you two go out to do fun things because if so, get him something he could wear to whatever you like to do together be it a sports activity, eating out, hiking whatever. Speaking of which how about getting out in a daily walk on the weekends at least to help him and you have a healthy lifestyle.

Just do the laundry and have him do other household tasks. So that his clothes are clean. I have always done the laundry as he has always done the yard work.

Also, if he makes the effort then praise him on the small steps. Yes it is somewhat childlike, but better than nagging him. You both married with well established good routines so it will take work to modify. But, if he is floundering I his job or other aspects of life a full physical including a mental health screening might be in order.

[Anonymous]

I meant to say good and bad routines!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband shaves about once a week, never gets haircuts, does not brush teeth daily, and his clothes look like they are from a rag bin. Nasty smelly hat at all times, baseball in summer, knit in winter. Glasses at least ten years old. I’ve given up. He shaves on the weekend and expects me to be all over him, ugh. Makes me cringe.

He can’t have changed. change. He must have always been like this to a degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If brown stamping is what I think it is, no. But feces breath and not bathing after working out are. I'm not his mother, and I don't want to continue having discussions about these issues. Nor am I interested in having an argument after bringing the issue up.

Okay, after seeing this response, I cannot read the rest of this....just leave, for Pete's sake. Eeewwwwww