I’m at a loss marijuana use in teen son

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP my son is 17 and he recently started smoking pot and vaping. He is ADD and LD. So hard.

[Anonymous]

Send him to inpatient rehab. Give him no money. Continue therapy and do home drug tests.

[Anonymous]

https://www.heysigmund.com/teens-drugs-parents-need-know-conversation-response/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.heysigmund.com/teens-drugs-parents-need-know-conversation-response/

Geez, that was really good. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been going on for awhile. We fear he’s now using daily possibly at school. Friends use too but I have a feeling he’s the only one that uses a lot. We find stuff, discuss, administer consequences and repeat. He sees a therapist. He’s on medication for anxiety and depression. He’s on adhd medicine. We have been ion top of and addressed /supported him with learning differences. We are loving, present, supportive parents. We’ve been told by therapist that treatment doesn’t work for marijuana. 90 plus percent return to it.

I know some will say he needs new friends. Not sure how you can really force that at 16. We could switch schools but he’d still see friends likely or make similar friends is my guess. Same with boarding school where there typically are even more drugs. We pay for private school , so taking that away is on the table I guess, especially as grades not great, effort low. We can restrict /ban car, but pretty hard to ground a kid all the time.

I am interested in advice from parents who have dealt with similar. Not parents who think they know what to do because believe me until you are living this you really don’t get it. Thanks.

I have no advice other than to suggest that you attend Al-Anon. My family has dealt with this issue exactly. Marijuana use, alcohol, ADHD, rehab and then Jail. My nephew has been sober for 10 years after his jail experience. A kid can have the most loving and attentive parents in the world and this happens. Until he gets on board with understanding that he will be more successful sober than under the influence, nothing will change. I think that the Al-Anon for my nephew's parents is what helped make a big difference in their lives. You really are not in control of this-- and can't expect to be. I am so sorry this is happening. I am sorry I really have no advice, but I do feel for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey mom , a lot of these suggestions sound like a bad after school special , truly. The consequences mentioned will not work if he has underlying social emotional issues.

Since he’s 16-17, I’d try a slightly different approach.

First , I’d pull him out of the current private school. Seems like they are truly on an ignore-wait-and-see plan. Doesn’t work for bright kids like your son who seem pretty bored with the curriculum ,etc.

Second, I’d make him learn a lot more about cannabis and growing things in general. I mean ALOT more. From cultivation to dispensaries, I’d have him start working with agricultural orgs, farms, whatever I could get my hands on.

Doesn’t like school? Let him get his GED. Let him really get out here and experience the world. Schools will always be there and ready to take your money. Better spent in the bank or shipping him off to an ag rehab somewhere out west for a month or two.

He sounds like a cool kid who’s having a tough time finding his place, embrace his journey and you may find that he finds that revolutionary.

Ignore this advice! “He sounds like a cool kid?” There is nothing in the OP’s original post that supports that. There is nothing about the school that evidences it’s a “wait and see approach”, either. Op doesn’t want him smoking anymore. Your answer is to give him less responsibility education wise, more free time and having him learn about the pot industry. You partake, don’t you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey mom , a lot of these suggestions sound like a bad after school special , truly. The consequences mentioned will not work if he has underlying social emotional issues.

Since he’s 16-17, I’d try a slightly different approach.

First , I’d pull him out of the current private school. Seems like they are truly on an ignore-wait-and-see plan. Doesn’t work for bright kids like your son who seem pretty bored with the curriculum ,etc.

Second, I’d make him learn a lot more about cannabis and growing things in general. I mean ALOT more. From cultivation to dispensaries, I’d have him start working with agricultural orgs, farms, whatever I could get my hands on.

Doesn’t like school? Let him get his GED. Let him really get out here and experience the world. Schools will always be there and ready to take your money. Better spent in the bank or shipping him off to an ag rehab somewhere out west for a month or two.

He sounds like a cool kid who’s having a tough time finding his place, embrace his journey and you may find that he finds that revolutionary.

Ignore this advice! “He sounds like a cool kid?” There is nothing in the OP’s original post that supports that. There is nothing about the school that evidences it’s a “wait and see approach”, either. Op doesn’t want him smoking anymore. Your answer is to give him less responsibility education wise, more free time and having him learn about the pot industry. You partake, don’t you.

I love pot and I still think this is a dumb ass answer.

[Anonymous]

I too was in this position with our DS. Absolutely nothing we did or said seemed to help. I just made it very clear that it was unacceptable so whenever I found the stash/paraphanelia I disposed of it. I also took away driving privileges. He just got better at hiding it. Probably was doing it every single day for the last two years of HS.

Jump ahead to college and surprisingly I am pretty sure the daily usage dropped, or at least when he was home over breaks/summer. I really don't know why, but I think it had a lot to do with maturity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been going on for awhile. We fear he’s now using daily possibly at school. Friends use too but I have a feeling he’s the only one that uses a lot. We find stuff, discuss, administer consequences and repeat. He sees a therapist. He’s on medication for anxiety and depression. He’s on adhd medicine. We have been ion top of and addressed /supported him with learning differences. We are loving, present, supportive parents. We’ve been told by therapist that treatment doesn’t work for marijuana. 90 plus percent return to it.

I know some will say he needs new friends. Not sure how you can really force that at 16. We could switch schools but he’d still see friends likely or make similar friends is my guess. Same with boarding school where there typically are even more drugs. We pay for private school , so taking that away is on the table I guess, especially as grades not great, effort low. We can restrict /ban car, but pretty hard to ground a kid all the time.

I am interested in advice from parents who have dealt with similar. Not parents who think they know what to do because believe me until you are living this you really don’t get it. Thanks.

I have no advice other than to suggest that you attend Al-Anon. My family has dealt with this issue exactly. Marijuana use, alcohol, ADHD, rehab and then Jail. My nephew has been sober for 10 years after his jail experience. A kid can have the most loving and attentive parents in the world and this happens. Until he gets on board with understanding that he will be more successful sober than under the influence, nothing will change. I think that the Al-Anon for my nephew's parents is what helped make a big difference in their lives. You really are not in control of this-- and can't expect to be. I am so sorry this is happening. I am sorry I really have no advice, but I do feel for you.

Thank you so much this is OP I will look into Al Anon