How to comfort husband?

[Anonymous]

Find out who got the job and start talking a lot about how attractive that guy is, how his wife is lucky to be with someone so successful, who can be a good provider, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:soothe his penis instead

This made me laugh, but +1 for real.

[Anonymous]

Just don't do what my ex wife did...while you're talking about something like that she just started looking at her phone mid sentence..like I wasn't even there.

And kudos to you for at least thinking about him. Most women I've either dated or the one I was married to don't want to hear about your problems. As a guy if you're struggling or something happened to you like a death of a friend you're on your own. Most women want to put out as little emotional and empathetic output as possible if it doesn't concern their needs.

Ask him if there is anything you can do to help. If he says no give him some time and space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ime it helps to just empathize -- "I know this is really hard for you," "I'm so sorry," etc -- rather than trying to make him feel better. Give him space to feel bad and make sure you don't come across like he has to buck up for your sake. Like, yeah, he has to buck up at some point but it sounds like this is still very fresh.

DH here. I wouldn't want that. I actually wouldn't want anything from DW. Just let me be until I can digest and get it out of my system. How to deal with these things are very person specific. Without knowing your DH, no one can really tell you the best way.

+1 another DH here. I imagine this would be the same regardless of gender but as a man, this is like a hit below the belt b/c I feel like I've let down my DW/family and I would need time to process and deal with this on my own. sure, intimacy helps but I wouldn't need DW to "comfort" me in the sense of providing empathy or soothing words - that would make me feel even worse.

Agree and I’m a woman. I have to process it on my own and the last thing I need is to feel pitied. I’d probably suggest a guys night to let off steam and have some fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just don't do what my ex wife did...while you're talking about something like that she just started looking at her phone mid sentence..like I wasn't even there.

And kudos to you for at least thinking about him. Most women I've either dated or the one I was married to don't want to hear about your problems. As a guy if you're struggling or something happened to you like a death of a friend you're on your own. Most women want to put out as little emotional and empathetic output as possible if it doesn't concern their needs.

Ask him if there is anything you can do to help. If he says no give him some time and space.

I'm sorry that that has been your experience, but it really isn't most women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't do what my ex wife did...while you're talking about something like that she just started looking at her phone mid sentence..like I wasn't even there.

And kudos to you for at least thinking about him. Most women I've either dated or the one I was married to don't want to hear about your problems. As a guy if you're struggling or something happened to you like a death of a friend you're on your own. Most women want to put out as little emotional and empathetic output as possible if it doesn't concern their needs.

Ask him if there is anything you can do to help. If he says no give him some time and space.

I'm sorry that that has been your experience, but it really isn't most women.

talking to my divorced male friends...yes...yes it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't do what my ex wife did...while you're talking about something like that she just started looking at her phone mid sentence..like I wasn't even there.

And kudos to you for at least thinking about him. Most women I've either dated or the one I was married to don't want to hear about your problems. As a guy if you're struggling or something happened to you like a death of a friend you're on your own. Most women want to put out as little emotional and empathetic output as possible if it doesn't concern their needs.

Ask him if there is anything you can do to help. If he says no give him some time and space.

I'm sorry that that has been your experience, but it really isn't most women.

talking to my divorced male friends...yes...yes it is.

+1 describes my ExW to a T

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ime it helps to just empathize -- "I know this is really hard for you," "I'm so sorry," etc -- rather than trying to make him feel better. Give him space to feel bad and make sure you don't come across like he has to buck up for your sake. Like, yeah, he has to buck up at some point but it sounds like this is still very fresh.

DH here. I wouldn't want that. I actually wouldn't want anything from DW. Just let me be until I can digest and get it out of my system. How to deal with these things are very person specific. Without knowing your DH, no one can really tell you the best way.

+1 another DH here. I imagine this would be the same regardless of gender but as a man, this is like a hit below the belt b/c I feel like I've let down my DW/family and I would need time to process and deal with this on my own. sure, intimacy helps but I wouldn't need DW to "comfort" me in the sense of providing empathy or soothing words - that would make me feel even worse.

I'm a DW but was just about to post the same as the two DHs above. My DH wouldn't want me to do anything to comfort him. He'd need time and space to let his ego heal and to process whatever he might be feeling.

If one of my friends was going through this, I'd approach it completely differently, along the lines of what the posters above have suggested: comforting words, a fun outing. But I don't think most men need or want that kind of response.

My DH is the same. Anything more than “that sucks” or “I’m sorry” would make him bristle. He wouldn’t want to go out with me and have fun, he’d need time to process. If he seemed into it, I’d make sure to do something he really likes in the bedroom, but not immediately because I wouldn’t want it to seem like a consolation prize. Mostly he likes some quiet space so he can process things and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find out who got the job and start talking a lot about how attractive that guy is, how his wife is lucky to be with someone so successful, who can be a good provider, etc.

And how he must have an 11.5 inch d***.

[Anonymous]

Hold space for him, but don’t push him to talk, emote, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:soothe his penis instead

This made me laugh, but +1 for real.

Lol. +1