Do you tell your kids Santa is real?

[Anonymous]

OP, with all of these harsh comment, you're probably not even still reading, but if you are, I will add one other plea: Do not, under any circumstances, out yourself on this one, even to your friends. I guarantee that your child will become the Preschool Pariah. If other parents get wind of this, they will also wonder what other "secrets" you are choosing to share with a 3 1/2 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[ original post removed by administrator because it was plagiarized. ]

Are you crazy?? What choice did SHE make?

[Anonymous]

I can't help but think this might be a anti-christian diatribe. Not very diverse OR cosmopolitan (that part made me laugh, hard) of you. It's DC, people, there are morons here like everywhere else. Just because it is DC does not mean there are fewer prejudiced morons.

[Anonymous]

For cryin' out loud. Do none of your children befriend and talk with Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and other non-secular/Christian(ish), children? There are lots and lots of kids out there who don't believe in Santa and really could care less. And they're happy. And smart. And, hell, grow up to write Christmas carols about Santa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For cryin' out loud. Do none of your children befriend and talk with Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and other non-secular/Christian(ish), children? There are lots and lots of kids out there who don't believe in Santa and really could care less. And they're happy. And smart. And, hell, grow up to write Christmas carols about Santa.

It's not the same at all. Knowing that a Jewish friend doesn't believe in Santa doesn't have the same effect as a kid saying, "my mommy told me that Santa is make believe."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For cryin' out loud. Do none of your children befriend and talk with Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and other non-secular/Christian(ish), children? There are lots and lots of kids out there who don't believe in Santa and really could care less. And they're happy. And smart. And, hell, grow up to write Christmas carols about Santa.

It's not the same at all. Knowing that a Jewish friend doesn't believe in Santa doesn't have the same effect as a kid saying, "my mommy told me that Santa is make believe."

But why shouldn't a five year old say "my mommy told me that Santa is make believe"? It seems to me that parents in some cases are more invested in their children believing in Santa than the children are themselves. Kids believe what their omnicient parents tell them. If parents, the voice of authority about All Things, says: "Santa is real" just when children are beginning to figure out how the world works, I think eventually you're setting them up for real disappointment. At some point they'll learn. And what will you say then?

I really do prefer the vague, mystery approach. The "well, you never really know, do you?" allows children to make smoother transitions back and forth through various social and cultural situations, and is developmentally appropriate. When they're ready to not believe, they won't have as far to fall.

[Anonymous]

If parents, the voice of authority about All Things, says: "Santa is real" just when children are beginning to figure out how the world works, I think eventually you're setting them up for real disappointment. At some point they'll learn. And what will you say then?

I think this is pretty ridiculous. All kids figure out that Santa isn't real at some point and most aren't the worse for the wear -- that is, unless Mean Mommy bursts their bubble when they are too young.

[Anonymous]

OP is definitely tooting her own horn and making herself and her child out to be the modern, enlightened versions of parent and child. But c'mon, that was no 3 yo making her own decision. She's being force fed by her parent just as much as any of the kids with the Santa-loving parents. And she's putting inappropriate pressures on her DC to think like Mommy and live on Mommy's level. Not fair to that kiddo at all!

My 3yo believes all sorts of things from tv and books are real. They're not, but I'm certainly not telling her that. Kids are supposed to have imaginations and believe in the unbelievable at this age. Santa (the concept) isn't harming anyone, but he's certainly helping out many.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't raised hearing about Santa in my family but heard about Santa at school. So we didn't put out cookies and milk, we didn't write letters to Santa with our wish list, we knew Santa hadn't left the gifts. I think at one point I must have believed it though because I remember wondering how Santa would get into our house when we didn't have a chimney or fireplace.

I have a 5 year old and I haven't talked about Santa bringing gifts etc. His father is also Jewish. I've chosen to put Santa in the category of beliefs some people have and that's what I tell my son. Some people think he's real. The way some people believe in religion. My son actually told me himself that Santa wasn't real, he was just in books and movies - but he also said that about other things he hadn't seen in real life but had read about in books - like duck-billed platypluses. I told him that they were real, we just haven't seen them in real life because they are in another part of the world. I also think it's fine to not be absolutely certain about what we think we believe to be true. We can teach our kids that there are different ways of thinking and we can convey that we can be receptive to and tolerant of other people's beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For cryin' out loud. Do none of your children befriend and talk with Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and other non-secular/Christian(ish), children? There are lots and lots of kids out there who don't believe in Santa and really could care less. And they're happy. And smart. And, hell, grow up to write Christmas carols about Santa.

It's not the same at all. Knowing that a Jewish friend doesn't believe in Santa doesn't have the same effect as a kid saying, "my mommy told me that Santa is make believe."

But why shouldn't a five year old say "my mommy told me that Santa is make believe"? It seems to me that parents in some cases are more invested in their children believing in Santa than the children are themselves. Kids believe what their omnicient parents tell them. If parents, the voice of authority about All Things, says: "Santa is real" just when children are beginning to figure out how the world works, I think eventually you're setting them up for real disappointment. At some point they'll learn. And what will you say then?

I really do prefer the vague, mystery approach. The "well, you never really know, do you?" allows children to make smoother transitions back and forth through various social and cultural situations, and is developmentally appropriate. When they're ready to not believe, they won't have as far to fall.

This.

There is so MUCH going on at Christmas that it's magical no matter what, even if a child doesn't get 100% wrapped up in the Santa thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For cryin' out loud. Do none of your children befriend and talk with Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and other non-secular/Christian(ish), children? There are lots and lots of kids out there who don't believe in Santa and really could care less. And they're happy. And smart. And, hell, grow up to write Christmas carols about Santa.

It's not the same at all. Knowing that a Jewish friend doesn't believe in Santa doesn't have the same effect as a kid saying, "my mommy told me that Santa is make believe."

What if it's the Jewish/Muslim/Hindu kid saying "my mommy told me that Santa is make believe?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that parents in some cases are more invested in their children believing in Santa than the children are themselves.

I totally agree with this point. Kids seem to realize at about age 3-5 that lots of things aren't real (like cartoons or Halloween costumes), and that doesn't prevent them from enjoying those pretend things. I don't think Santa is any different. Plenty of people continue to enjoy xmas long after realizing that Santa is not real. Indeed, many people tell stories about how crushed they were at finding out that Santa is not real. In my house, we're not going out of our way to tell kids that Santa is pretend, but once each child starts questioning whether Santa (or tooth fairy or anything else) is real, we don't lie either.

[Anonymous]

I am one of those people who had a hard time when I found out Santa wasn't real. It wasn't that I was disappointed in it being fake. I was so very, very hurt that my parents and everyone else would go so far out of their way to lie to me. I felt cheated and duped.

I don't tell my child that there is a Santa. Her father does not see things the way I do. He tells her about Santa and labels the gifts from him. I just avoid the conversation. She has asked me directly a few times and I give a "some people do, some people don't" answer and try to change the subject. We are nearing the end of the Santa stage (she's 7). I will be happy when the lying is behind us. I hate lying about the tooth fairy and Easter bunny, too.

[Anonymous]

My super smart, tremendously rational 5 year old believes in Santa... because I lie through my teeth and tell him "of course Santa's real!"

Some day he might hate me for lying to him, but right now he is all aflutter thinking that the Polar Express train might really come for HIM this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think this is pretty ridiculous. All kids figure out that Santa isn't real at some point and most aren't the worse for the wear -- that is, unless Mean Mommy bursts their bubble when they are too young.

ITA