From friends to lovers.

[Anonymous]

We met at work, became great friends, became lovers on a business trip. However I was in a serious, long term relationship so we broke it off. We are both married now with kids. We still get together with our spouses for dinner. I can tell she doesn't look back, but whenever I see her, I wonder if I made the right decision in marrying my wife rather than pursuing a new relationship with her. I guess timing is everything.

[Anonymous]

DW And I were friends in college. Started dating later. Did not like that I met her FWB before dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met DH through work, we were both dating other people at the time. We were friends for two years. I broke up with my BF and realized I had feelings for him, but he was in a long term relationship. Then he realized he had feelings for me, broke up w his GF, and told me. We have been together ever since- married for ten years, three kids, still happy.

I was worried about sexual compatibility but couldn’t not try it out- and luckily we are very compatible.

I was very worried about the same thing, that our great friendship would fizzle out in bed and that would end our great friendship. He may have felt the same way but he didn’t say anything. Thankfully the first time it really sizzled with multiple O’s for both of us. I remember joking afterwards that we had wasted a few years! That was 34 years ago and things still sizzle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Share your experience.
How did it worked out?

Got busy. Got jizzy. (Boo-Ya.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated my friend of 15 years. We are both single parents and met at our kid’s nursery school. When we first met, he was going through a divorce and I was the friend he leaned on to get through it. We remained friends, sometimes not talking for a while, but always there for each other. A few years ago we began talking more frequently because once again he was going through a hurtful breakup with the woman he had been dating for the past 7 years. We hung out more so he could talk and I would listen and try to give advice. One day he gave me a neck massage, which he had done before, nothing romantic, but this time it turned more physical and romantic. No sex. I felt weird about it, but he didn’t. I tried to continue to help him win back his relationship even more because of my guilt. He had tried to go to counseling with her, but she ended the relationship because she said didn’t love him anymore. Not long after all of that we began to date and we dated for two years. Out of nowhere he broke up with me telling me that I was not affectionate enough. In the two years we dated I never told anyone that our friendship had changed. Most importantly, I was worried how our kids, who are now teenagers would react. I was always worried that our relationship was a rebound relationship, but he always tried to convince me otherwise. I loved him so much that I believed him, even though he would still talk about his ex frequently and refused to do the work that one must do to get over a relationship. He just wanted to keep moving along with me. I knew it was not a good idea, but my feelings about him allowed it. After he broke up with me I found out that the woman he is dating now he started dating while we were together. It’s why he refused to work things out with me and insisted that we had to break up. It really hurt me . He blamed me for everything and told me that I hurt him so much that he didn’t want the relationship anymore. At the time I had no idea he had already moved on and was devastated that I was responsible for hurting him and causing the break up. I went to get therapy to work on the list of things that he told me that caused him to leave me. I had no idea he felt all of this during the relationship he never uttered a word! So when I found out the real reason he broke it off with me and didn’t want to work on the relationship I was beyond devastated! At the end of our relationship I tried to communicate with him and he basically ghosted me. A person I talked to 5 times a day, who called me every morning to say good morning and spent so much time with me and our kids, wouldn’t even return a phone call or see me in person to talk! I was trying so hard to work on us, not knowing he had started a whole new relationship! I had even asked him repeatedly if there was someone else and he kept saying no. 15 years of friendship and he broke it off with me on the phone and over email and text messages. He refused to speak in person. Now that I know about his new girlfriend that he met during our relationship, I know why he didn’t want to face me. It hurt. It still hurts. We are no longer friends and I regret ever getting involved with him.

He wasn't your friend, PP. He was what my husband calls "waiting in the wings" - he found you attractive and hung around hoping you'd hook up. I'm sorry!

[Anonymous]

All my straight platonic male friends slowly disappeared when I met and moved in with my now-husband. Wonder if most guys (not all of course, but most) befriend women they are tentatively interested in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We married. Still married 20 years later. We aren't the worst match in the world, except that I'm not really attracted to him. And I don't like him much. But we get along. Kids.

This is sad, for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All my straight platonic male friends slowly disappeared when I met and moved in with my now-husband. Wonder if most guys (not all of course, but most) befriend women they are tentatively interested in.

Yep, cause all men ever want to do is jump a woman's bones. No substance to them at all.

[Anonymous]

Met at work, became friends. Then FWB. Then BF/GF, lived together, then lived apart/still dated, then broke up amicably. After a few years we both married, and eventually both divorced. Crossed paths in the same town unexpectedly a little after that, started to hang out more, became FWB again. Decided we didn’t want to take it further, so we let the sex sizzle out (not easy to do because chemistry was always strong), and eventually settled into LTR with other people. I’m very happy in my current LTR, and the chemistry is amazing. We are good friends still, but no longer lovers, and have both moved on and are happy for each other. Who knows what the future holds for any of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my straight platonic male friends slowly disappeared when I met and moved in with my now-husband. Wonder if most guys (not all of course, but most) befriend women they are tentatively interested in.

Yep, cause all men ever want to do is jump a woman's bones. No substance to them at all.

Breaking news! A single guy is looking for a girlfriend, a sex partner. This started, oh, 1 million BC. Save the eye roll emoji for women professing ignorance of this fact.

[Anonymous]

Became close friends with a coworker. We started hanging out a lot. We had some shared hobbies. We both dated other people and would talk to each other and support each other. We both knew there was chemistry between us but it wasn't really strong enough to act on and our friendship was very well developed and neither of us wanted to lose that. He moved away and went through a broken engagement and we had talked a lot during those months as he was very devastated. About 6 months later, we were both single and we just kind of said - why not? should we try it?

It wasn't great. Things I didn't care about as a friend, I did care about as a girlfriend and the chemistry wasn't really strong. We lived in different cities and only lasted a few months before deciding we were better as friends. It was short lived enough that we were able to maintain our previous friendship, until he met the woman who would eventually become his wife and she wanted me gone.

[Anonymous]

We were good friends and I had a huge crush on him. We got together and I realized I didn't feel a 'spark'. Stayed together since I wanted it so badly, I'd give it time. Ended up married and divorced after 5 years and a kid. However, we're back to being good friends and excellent co-parents.

[Anonymous]

We were good friends for a few years and then something just happened which really surprised him but he was in my sights! That was 33 years ago and it's been wonderful. We've always been very good friends and the romance is definitely still there. I know for many that it didn't work out which is really unfortunate because for us it just worked.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Shouldn't you be friends before being lovers??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated my friend of 15 years. We are both single parents and met at our kid’s nursery school. When we first met, he was going through a divorce and I was the friend he leaned on to get through it. We remained friends, sometimes not talking for a while, but always there for each other. A few years ago we began talking more frequently because once again he was going through a hurtful breakup with the woman he had been dating for the past 7 years. We hung out more so he could talk and I would listen and try to give advice. One day he gave me a neck massage, which he had done before, nothing romantic, but this time it turned more physical and romantic. No sex. I felt weird about it, but he didn’t. I tried to continue to help him win back his relationship even more because of my guilt. He had tried to go to counseling with her, but she ended the relationship because she said didn’t love him anymore. Not long after all of that we began to date and we dated for two years. Out of nowhere he broke up with me telling me that I was not affectionate enough. In the two years we dated I never told anyone that our friendship had changed. Most importantly, I was worried how our kids, who are now teenagers would react. I was always worried that our relationship was a rebound relationship, but he always tried to convince me otherwise. I loved him so much that I believed him, even though he would still talk about his ex frequently and refused to do the work that one must do to get over a relationship. He just wanted to keep moving along with me. I knew it was not a good idea, but my feelings about him allowed it. After he broke up with me I found out that the woman he is dating now he started dating while we were together. It’s why he refused to work things out with me and insisted that we had to break up. It really hurt me . He blamed me for everything and told me that I hurt him so much that he didn’t want the relationship anymore. At the time I had no idea he had already moved on and was devastated that I was responsible for hurting him and causing the break up. I went to get therapy to work on the list of things that he told me that caused him to leave me. I had no idea he felt all of this during the relationship he never uttered a word! So when I found out the real reason he broke it off with me and didn’t want to work on the relationship I was beyond devastated! At the end of our relationship I tried to communicate with him and he basically ghosted me. A person I talked to 5 times a day, who called me every morning to say good morning and spent so much time with me and our kids, wouldn’t even return a phone call or see me in person to talk! I was trying so hard to work on us, not knowing he had started a whole new relationship! I had even asked him repeatedly if there was someone else and he kept saying no. 15 years of friendship and he broke it off with me on the phone and over email and text messages. He refused to speak in person. Now that I know about his new girlfriend that he met during our relationship, I know why he didn’t want to face me. It hurt. It still hurts. We are no longer friends and I regret ever getting involved with him.

OMG!! Man here. This recently happened to me in reverse. Not the 15 year friendship though. But going from talking and texting all day and taking every morning to basically a phone call breakup. I don’t know if she is seeing someone but all the signs are there that she met someone else and that’s why she flat out dumped me.

Good luck in healing. Some people are not nice.