All the ways to throw money at making 2 little kids and 2 working parents easier

[Anonymous]

You need to hire a nanny/housekeeper who is basically your SAHM

Pay her a professional salary (50-60k plus benefits) and you'll get someone good and dependable because that is a good salary for that type of position.

[Anonymous]

I did all of these things for our family while working FT. Reading this thread is making me extremely jealous, while also making me think I must be super-mom for getting it all done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a baby that doesn't sleep through the night, toddler, and both have demanding jobs. I make time during their awake hours to spend a good amount of focused time with the kids but I'm EXHAUSTED trying to take care of everything else. Fortunately, we have some money to throw at the problem so please give me all the ideas of what you do or would like to throw money at. The more it fully takes something mentally off my plate the better - for example I know a lot of people order groceries but that still leaves meal planning, figuring out what you need to buy, figuring out if you can get home from work in time to cook it etc - I just don't have the mental energy right now to plan things that much.

I realize I have it better than many people and accept I (and my dh but they're never blamed for wanting domestic help on dcum) may be weak / soft / spoiled and whatever else some posters would like to call me. Name call away, just still give me the tips please!

It is unconscionable that you put your baby and toddler out to work while you stay home eating bon bon's, and reading cheap romance novels!

Seriously, can you sleep train or hire someone to do so. Maybe a night nurse for a month to get baby on a schedule. I feel for you and it will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to hire a nanny/housekeeper who is basically your SAHM

Pay her a professional salary (50-60k plus benefits) and you'll get someone good and dependable because that is a good salary for that type of position.

+1

We pay ours more than that but I call her my wife, because she basically is the SAHM in our family.

[Anonymous]

This is minor but I gave up making a big deal about holiday shopping, etc.
I basically chose a gourmet food basket that everyone liked and uploaded the addresses of all siblings, husband's siblings, in-laws, etc to the website. Each family received one family gift from us.
Every year, sometime after Thanksgiving, I would get an e-mail from the company that said basically: Do you want to just send all these people the same thing again this year -- and I was like Yes! Yes I do!
For fifteen years everyone got a christmas basket of gourmet food and I didn't worry about CHristmas shopping except for my kids. (DH and I don't exchange gifts).
You can also upload all music teachers, sports coaches, etc.
Lazy and very efficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did all of these things for our family while working FT. Reading this thread is making me extremely jealous, while also making me think I must be super-mom for getting it all done.

Same - so jealous (but not super-mom). I also have a baby (who doesn't STTN) and a crazy high energy toddler, plus a demanding job and a husband who is gone every other week traveling for work. Except we can't afford to throw money at it beyond what we already pay for childcare. Some days I cry in the shower out of sheer exhaustion.

If we did have money, I would hire a housekeeper in addition to a nanny - someone to clean and cook and do laundry and manage our home, separately from the person who helps care for the children.

[Anonymous]

I'm not comfortable with the level of in-house help described here, so here's what we've done without involving a lot of hired help (though we do have a cleaner come once or twice a month for a deep clean):

Snoo if your baby is still small (it had our infant sleeping through the night by 8 weeks); mail order decent quality baby/toddler food (Yumi, Little Spoon, Nurture Life); meal boxes or Galley for our dinner (we like Plated). If cooking, we cook our meals after kids have gone to bed, which is around 7/7:30. The meal boxes are quick and easy and require no planning, though prep + clean up takes about an hour (we split this up, one of us cooks and one cleans). I find it relaxing to cook those at the end of the day because they're so easy, but we tend to order Galley or other delivery if too tired. Dinner is usually wrapped up by 8:30 and we work for a few hours after that.

I think it will be a lot more manageable once the baby starts sleeping through the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not comfortable with the level of in-house help described here, so here's what we've done without involving a lot of hired help (though we do have a cleaner come once or twice a month for a deep clean):

Snoo if your baby is still small (it had our infant sleeping through the night by 8 weeks); mail order decent quality baby/toddler food (Yumi, Little Spoon, Nurture Life); meal boxes or Galley for our dinner (we like Plated). If cooking, we cook our meals after kids have gone to bed, which is around 7/7:30. The meal boxes are quick and easy and require no planning, though prep + clean up takes about an hour (we split this up, one of us cooks and one cleans). I find it relaxing to cook those at the end of the day because they're so easy, but we tend to order Galley or other delivery if too tired. Dinner is usually wrapped up by 8:30 and we work for a few hours after that.

I think it will be a lot more manageable once the baby starts sleeping through the night.

You aren’t comfortable with the level of help described because you have one infant. Report back on how well you are doing with limited help when you have two plus kids who are actually mobile and need to eat real food and can make a mess and need homework help and library books and permission forms and on and on and on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - for those of you with house manages / house keepers that cook and do errands and things - how did you find them?

Care.com

We also looked on Sittercity and saw some people that overlapped but we preferred the way Care was set up

I know OP is asking about housekeepers so perhaps it is different for that group but I am the nanny from upthread and none of the career nannies I know would touch care.com with a ten-foot pole. Their policies are very very discriminatory against employees and they allow and even to some extent encourage illegal practices. If I were out of work tomorrow I would likely find a new job via word of mouth, and my backup plan would be to post on local listserves, sittercity and to go through an agency.

[Anonymous]

PP who posted about hiring a high schooler to organize...sadly my husband is not comfortable with outside help (like a cleaning lady) and our kids are 2.5 and 7 this week. For the first 3 years of my older child’s life we rarely had a sitter because our studio was too small and cluttered. We’re in a different home now and I get a sitter about once a month. I also have a less demanding job - after my 2nd was born I cut to 35 hrs a week and my husband rarely travels for work, but it’s all exhausting.

I tell my husband if I won the lottery I would retain a cook / grocery shopper and a masseuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not comfortable with the level of in-house help described here, so here's what we've done without involving a lot of hired help (though we do have a cleaner come once or twice a month for a deep clean):

Snoo if your baby is still small (it had our infant sleeping through the night by 8 weeks); mail order decent quality baby/toddler food (Yumi, Little Spoon, Nurture Life); meal boxes or Galley for our dinner (we like Plated). If cooking, we cook our meals after kids have gone to bed, which is around 7/7:30. The meal boxes are quick and easy and require no planning, though prep + clean up takes about an hour (we split this up, one of us cooks and one cleans). I find it relaxing to cook those at the end of the day because they're so easy, but we tend to order Galley or other delivery if too tired. Dinner is usually wrapped up by 8:30 and we work for a few hours after that.

I think it will be a lot more manageable once the baby starts sleeping through the night.

You aren’t comfortable with the level of help described because you have one infant. Report back on how well you are doing with limited help when you have two plus kids who are actually mobile and need to eat real food and can make a mess and need homework help and library books and permission forms and on and on and on.

she said "after kids have gone to bed" so it sounds like she has more than one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not comfortable with the level of in-house help described here, so here's what we've done without involving a lot of hired help (though we do have a cleaner come once or twice a month for a deep clean):

Snoo if your baby is still small (it had our infant sleeping through the night by 8 weeks); mail order decent quality baby/toddler food (Yumi, Little Spoon, Nurture Life); meal boxes or Galley for our dinner (we like Plated). If cooking, we cook our meals after kids have gone to bed, which is around 7/7:30. The meal boxes are quick and easy and require no planning, though prep + clean up takes about an hour (we split this up, one of us cooks and one cleans). I find it relaxing to cook those at the end of the day because they're so easy, but we tend to order Galley or other delivery if too tired. Dinner is usually wrapped up by 8:30 and we work for a few hours after that.

I think it will be a lot more manageable once the baby starts sleeping through the night.

You aren’t comfortable with the level of help described because you have one infant. Report back on how well you are doing with limited help when you have two plus kids who are actually mobile and need to eat real food and can make a mess and need homework help and library books and permission forms and on and on and on.

3 year old and 8 month old, but okay. My comment wasn't meant to be judgmental, but I realize "level of" was probably the wrong word choice and made it come off that way -- sorry. Personally, I'm pretty introverted and value privacy and quiet time and I think I would just find it awkward. If it works for you, that's great!

[Anonymous]

Wow you all must be super rich! My husband and I both work FT and travel a decent amount. We have three kids (6 months, 2 and 5) and have an au pair. We also have a cleaner once per week. While sometimes its a lot and I am exhausted its not overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not comfortable with the level of in-house help described here, so here's what we've done without involving a lot of hired help (though we do have a cleaner come once or twice a month for a deep clean):

Snoo if your baby is still small (it had our infant sleeping through the night by 8 weeks); mail order decent quality baby/toddler food (Yumi, Little Spoon, Nurture Life); meal boxes or Galley for our dinner (we like Plated). If cooking, we cook our meals after kids have gone to bed, which is around 7/7:30. The meal boxes are quick and easy and require no planning, though prep + clean up takes about an hour (we split this up, one of us cooks and one cleans). I find it relaxing to cook those at the end of the day because they're so easy, but we tend to order Galley or other delivery if too tired. Dinner is usually wrapped up by 8:30 and we work for a few hours after that.

I think it will be a lot more manageable once the baby starts sleeping through the night.

You aren’t comfortable with the level of help described because you have one infant. Report back on how well you are doing with limited help when you have two plus kids who are actually mobile and need to eat real food and can make a mess and need homework help and library books and permission forms and on and on and on.

Some of us work and do all this stuff ourselves and have more than one child and don't fall apart in the shower.

Honestly, many of you should have stuck to one kid. Or none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not comfortable with the level of in-house help described here, so here's what we've done without involving a lot of hired help (though we do have a cleaner come once or twice a month for a deep clean):

Snoo if your baby is still small (it had our infant sleeping through the night by 8 weeks); mail order decent quality baby/toddler food (Yumi, Little Spoon, Nurture Life); meal boxes or Galley for our dinner (we like Plated). If cooking, we cook our meals after kids have gone to bed, which is around 7/7:30. The meal boxes are quick and easy and require no planning, though prep + clean up takes about an hour (we split this up, one of us cooks and one cleans). I find it relaxing to cook those at the end of the day because they're so easy, but we tend to order Galley or other delivery if too tired. Dinner is usually wrapped up by 8:30 and we work for a few hours after that.

I think it will be a lot more manageable once the baby starts sleeping through the night.

You aren’t comfortable with the level of help described because you have one infant. Report back on how well you are doing with limited help when you have two plus kids who are actually mobile and need to eat real food and can make a mess and need homework help and library books and permission forms and on and on and on.

3 year old and 8 month old, but okay. My comment wasn't meant to be judgmental, but I realize "level of" was probably the wrong word choice and made it come off that way -- sorry. Personally, I'm pretty introverted and value privacy and quiet time and I think I would just find it awkward. If it works for you, that's great!

DP here. I have 3 kids and oldest is 10 and I would not want to outsource that much either. We know all sorts of families most with 1 or 2 high earners.

Most high earners ($500k-millions) have a stay at home spouse or spouse who works a PT or flexible job.

It is nearly impossible to find a Mary Poppins who can do it all well. You are extremely lucky if you have that unicorn.

We had a great nanny who was amazing with our infant and toddler. She was an excellent cook, tidied up and did our laundry. She was not the type to make friends for our kids, help them with their homework and enrich them.

So we paid a premium for the educated teacher who would pick up kids, help them with homework and was very social. She would not clean at all and it wasn’t expected. We had a separate house cleaner and another separate cooking person. It was tiring managing these people. We wanted different people who did each role the best and it was not the same person.

We know dual surgeons, lawyers, executives who have live ins, full time nannies, au pairs. Our old neighbor had SIX nannies. The mom was an investment banker and dad traveled internationally often. They needed 24-7 care. I remember going to a birthday party and mom brought two nannies with her and a third one was at their home preparing a meal.

You just have to feel comfortable with how much you outsource.

We have a friend who almost got divorced. They literally outsourced everything possible. Both parents earned seven figures and that requires hours of work and travel. I was surprised the dad quit his job to save his family. Their kids are teenagers now and I’ve heard some nightmare stories of their nannies over the years. They made it through and survived.