how do some people do it??

[Anonymous]

Nanny has them 8 hours, you have them 24 hours. Whatever, don't lose her as she sounds great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny gets to go home at the end of the day. That’s it right there! When I was a nanny, you better believe I had the house spotless, the kids doing a nice, quiet, organized activity, and a healthy dinner prepared by 6pm when the parents returned too but now that I’m a SAHM to 2 young kids, it’s a much different story. Out house is always a mess, I’m always exhausted, and meals are thrown together last minute.

The mental load is a lot greater when you’re caring for your own kids and you’re in charge 24/7 instead of 8-6.

This! It’s her job - if you work out of the house I assume you try your best to excel at work. So does she. When I was a sahm for my first kid we kept the house very tidy and I was always on top of errands etc. Now on the weekends I feel like we were hit by a tornado because I put more emphasis on spending time with them rather than the actual house stuff. When they go to sleep, I work on getting the house in order and ready for the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny has them 8 hours, you have them 24 hours. Whatever, don't lose her as she sounds great.

Actually, I can see how she would make you feel inadequate and stressed out. You should probably can her. And then give me her contact info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny has them 8 hours, you have them 24 hours. Whatever, don't lose her as she sounds great.

When did days start having 32 hours? Nanny has them 16 and nanny has them for 8, yet she manages to keep house clean and do many other things. From this, we can determine that OP is either lazy or grossly disorganized, or both.

[Anonymous]

OP here - wow this thread took a turn for the unnecessarily nasty!

I am appreciative towards and impressed by the talents of many nannies / SAHPs. Yet because I don't somehow have those same talents and / or also have other responsibilities i'm trying to fill at the same time (like catching up on my work email or ordering groceries during nap time) and / or am just really f'ing tired I'm "lazy, disorganzed, imcompetent" etc?

For posters responding that way you're either supremely bored in which case get a hobby, unhappy about something and lashing out here in which case get therapy, or truly unable to appreciate and celebrate differences in people without somehow feeling defensive and attacked, in which case I guess i'm just relieved I don't know you in real life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - wow this thread took a turn for the unnecessarily nasty!

I am appreciative towards and impressed by the talents of many nannies / SAHPs. Yet because I don't somehow have those same talents and / or also have other responsibilities i'm trying to fill at the same time (like catching up on my work email or ordering groceries during nap time) and / or am just really f'ing tired I'm "lazy, disorganzed, imcompetent" etc?

For posters responding that way you're either supremely bored in which case get a hobby, unhappy about something and lashing out here in which case get therapy, or truly unable to appreciate and celebrate differences in people without somehow feeling defensive and attacked, in which case I guess i'm just relieved I don't know you in real life!

Poor you. The truth does hurt.

[Anonymous]

It's because you don't treat it like a job.

If you looked at it like an actual job, like a nannying job for example, you'd try harder.

You'd be more organized, energetic, and on the ball because you'd HAVE to be, because you are depending on the goodwill of your employer and paycheck.

Anyway, that's how I always looked at it and I kept a spotless house, laundry done every day, beds made every day, dinner on the table at 6 pm. Plus kids out of the house every day for some type of activity and social outing.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how people allow their houses to be trashed just because you are in it all day.
Like do you just give up?

My kids have tons of toys and we play like mad, but not in every single room of the house. If they want a fort in teh living room, great. But then there is not 500 toys in the family room, bedroom, dining room.
We rotate our toys out so out of 80 toys only about 10 are available at any time which helps a ton.

If they are still actively playing with something, i let it out. But if it sits and they are over it, time to pick up.
When they want to do a craft i ask if they are done with barbies. If so, put away and lets get out the craft stuff.

I just don't get letting your kids destroy your house?

While the kids are doing a craft or playing i do laundry, cook, vacume, etc. It is not rocket science, just multi tasking. At work I typically have 5-8 projects going on at once, so i guess maybe i am just used to it?

While the soup cooks we read or play a game.
While the washer is washing we go on a walk.
When it is time to do choors i have them help with what they can (put their cups away, silverware, fold and put away clothes etc).

[Anonymous]

I have a 3 mo and 2 yo and our place is a wreck at end of day while I’m on mat leave. Baby will not be put down for naps / stay asleep more than 15 min so I can’t even use downtime to accomplish stuff. So frustrating. My 2 yo is thankfully in daycare but our cleaning lady was here and still upstairs when the tiny Tasmanian devil dumped all the balls from ball pit and all the blocks out..looked like cleaners never even there within 5 min. I can get him to sort of help put some back but then he wants to dump it again. Sigh. One of his friends loves picking things up- alas he does not. I can’t make him do it, but I know he freaking does clean up at school, so maybe they are just better behaved for others.

I do meal plan on my phone while holding napping baby or during downtime when working and order groceries. I’ve become very efficient and can’t sit still. When we had just the one it was easy enough to do stuff during nap but with second baby that won’t nap independently it’s a no go.

One day....

[Anonymous]

It's her job and she is good at it. I presume you are good at your job too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 6mo and a 2yo. On days I'm alone with them, by the end of the day the house is trashed, I'm exhausted, and all I've accomplished is keeping everyone happy, fed, and hopefully food picked up along the way.

When the nanny has them all day, I come home to a spotless house, fresh made baby food, bruschetta made from tomatoes she picked from our garden, and my laundry folded (many of these tasks are above and beyond what we ask of her). It's AMAZING. How does she / some caregivers (whether parents or nannies) accomplish so much?!? I honestly can't comprehend it

If I had a nanny who did all that, I would suspect she was doing more cleaning and cooking than taking care of the kids. Either that, or she does it all during their naptimes, in which case she is amazing and I hope you pay her well!

[Anonymous]

If she has time to do all that she’s probably not taking great care of the kids. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's her job and she is good at it. I presume you are good at your job too?

One would think so.

Its also funny that people assume moms automatically will be good at taking care of their kids. Many are not good and nurturing caregivers. Many don't want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM with a tidy house.

My kids don’t trash the house. We clean as we go. Done with cars? Pick them up. Done with blocks? Pick them up.

We are also out of the house a lot, which means we don’t need to clean as much.

I clean while they play. I fold laundry and watch tv at the end of the day. I rest during nap, so I’m ready for the afternoon.

That cleaning technique only works when they play with one toy and move onto another so it’s easy to say clean up x before you continue with y.

A recent example of mine is kids making a cargo ship out of the playroom couch. It needs a kitchen so they arrange all the food on the ottoman. A band will be playing on the ship so out come the instruments and stuffed animal performers. Don’t forget to grab the tinker toys to make the ship’s steering wheel! Rolling toys are arranged in a pattern on the floor to form the edges of the ship. We all ride on the couch as the ship chefs serve fine meals.

It can be quite a mess by the end of the day.

PP and I don’t really let them play like that, unless we are rained or snowed in. They’re outside playing like that but not in my living room!

Ew. I feel sorry for your kids. I can tell what kind of parent you are just by your last sentence. “...not in MY living room”?? What, the kids don’t live there too? They don’t have a right to enjoy their house? I have friends who grew up feeling unwelcome in their own homes and I can tell you right now, you don’t want that. Or maybe you don’t care I guess, YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could do all that too if I got to clock out at closing time and go home to my quiet empty apartment.

No, you couldn't. There is no excuse for a house to be trashed at the end of the day. This happens because OP allows her child to both make and leave messes all over the house. Also, OP is not organized and has no one to blame but herself. I was a a SAH for ten years, with zero help except a cleaning woman who came in every other week. I never had a trashed house. I made a menu every week and stuck to it with grocery shopping once a week. So did every woman I knew whether they worked or stayed home. It is nothing more than a matter of being organized.

Hahahaha....”ZERO help” oh except for the cleaning lady who came bi-weekly. Lol!