Asked to be Godparent - help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atheist here with 5 catholic baptized god-children.

With each one I braced for the moment when the intolerable priest (5 different churches, BTW) would grill me about my beliefs and promises and I would have to back out.

That never occurred. Not even once. Not even close.

It's an honor like serving in a wedding party at a church, IMHO. You don't have to follow the religion to participate in a wonderful thing.

It creates a special bond with the kid. Anyone who says it carries mandatory dogmatic responsibility being a petulant jerk. If the parents know what you think and ask you anyway that means you are the kind of person they want their kid to look up to.

Do it and enjoy it.

Liar. The rite of baptism in the Catholic Church specifically includes the priest asking the godparents if they are ready to help the parents in their Christian duty to the child.

Lol. I highly highly doubt she is lying. DHs culturally catholic, C&E family is just like this. No one comes right out and says they are an atheist but I expect some probably are. None of them take their religion seriously at all. It’s more of a cultural thing. They still get their kids baptized just fine, and use each other as godparents. Yes the rite includes wording..people just repeat, say “we will” or whatever- they don’t really mean it (at least as interpreted by the Church). Godparents are just a special aunt uncle or family friend who get you gifts for birthdays etc. This is not even remotely uncommon..

I was responding specifically to the PP's assertion that the priest was "not even close" to asking her to promise anything. And if you nonchalantly responded "I will," then you were lying too. Sorry to hear how little this concerns any of you. Many of us are not simply going through the motions, and there are more of us out there than you might guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atheist here with 5 catholic baptized god-children.

With each one I braced for the moment when the intolerable priest (5 different churches, BTW) would grill me about my beliefs and promises and I would have to back out.

That never occurred. Not even once. Not even close.

It's an honor like serving in a wedding party at a church, IMHO. You don't have to follow the religion to participate in a wonderful thing.

It creates a special bond with the kid. Anyone who says it carries mandatory dogmatic responsibility being a petulant jerk. If the parents know what you think and ask you anyway that means you are the kind of person they want their kid to look up to.

Do it and enjoy it.

Liar. The rite of baptism in the Catholic Church specifically includes the priest asking the godparents if they are ready to help the parents in their Christian duty to the child.

Lol. I highly highly doubt she is lying. DHs culturally catholic, C&E family is just like this. No one comes right out and says they are an atheist but I expect some probably are. None of them take their religion seriously at all. It’s more of a cultural thing. They still get their kids baptized just fine, and use each other as godparents. Yes the rite includes wording..people just repeat, say “we will” or whatever- they don’t really mean it (at least as interpreted by the Church). Godparents are just a special aunt uncle or family friend who get you gifts for birthdays etc. This is not even remotely uncommon..

I was responding specifically to the PP's assertion that the priest was "not even close" to asking her to promise anything. And if you nonchalantly responded "I will," then you were lying too. Sorry to hear how little this concerns any of you. Many of us are not simply going through the motions, and there are more of us out there than you might guess.

I’m the poster with the “cafeteria catholic ILs” above. All I was stating is that I highly doubt that poster was a liar. From what I have seen this is highly common. For what it’s worth I tend to agree with you- why do the sacraments is they aren’t meaningful? But not everyone agrees snd there’s is often heavy heavy family and cultural pressure. The solution IMO is for the Catholic families/cultures to encourage more honesty for those who don’t really believe or take these things seriously but that will happen when pigs fly IMHO. As long as “no one wants to upset grandma” etc this is going to continue to be a large subset of the Church. Just saying. And yes there is a also a large portion of serious Catholics and yet another group of Catholics who are somewhere in the middle.

You really should not have called that poster a liar. Just not necessary in the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atheist here with 5 catholic baptized god-children.

With each one I braced for the moment when the intolerable priest (5 different churches, BTW) would grill me about my beliefs and promises and I would have to back out.

That never occurred. Not even once. Not even close.

It's an honor like serving in a wedding party at a church, IMHO. You don't have to follow the religion to participate in a wonderful thing.

It creates a special bond with the kid. Anyone who says it carries mandatory dogmatic responsibility being a petulant jerk. If the parents know what you think and ask you anyway that means you are the kind of person they want their kid to look up to.

Do it and enjoy it.

Liar. The rite of baptism in the Catholic Church specifically includes the priest asking the godparents if they are ready to help the parents in their Christian duty to the child.

Lol. I highly highly doubt she is lying. DHs culturally catholic, C&E family is just like this. No one comes right out and says they are an atheist but I expect some probably are. None of them take their religion seriously at all. It’s more of a cultural thing. They still get their kids baptized just fine, and use each other as godparents. Yes the rite includes wording..people just repeat, say “we will” or whatever- they don’t really mean it (at least as interpreted by the Church). Godparents are just a special aunt uncle or family friend who get you gifts for birthdays etc. This is not even remotely uncommon..

I was responding specifically to the PP's assertion that the priest was "not even close" to asking her to promise anything. And if you nonchalantly responded "I will," then you were lying too. Sorry to hear how little this concerns any of you. Many of us are not simply going through the motions, and there are more of us out there than you might guess.

I’m the poster with the “cafeteria catholic ILs” above. All I was stating is that I highly doubt that poster was a liar. From what I have seen this is highly common. For what it’s worth I tend to agree with you- why do the sacraments is they aren’t meaningful? But not everyone agrees snd there’s is often heavy heavy family and cultural pressure. The solution IMO is for the Catholic families/cultures to encourage more honesty for those who don’t really believe or take these things seriously but that will happen when pigs fly IMHO. As long as “no one wants to upset grandma” etc this is going to continue to be a large subset of the Church. Just saying. And yes there is a also a large portion of serious Catholics and yet another group of Catholics who are somewhere in the middle.

You really should not have called that poster a liar. Just not necessary in the least.

Of course you are right but you'll never get those christians to admit when they are not christ-like.

Funny how the return name-calling posts got quickly deleted but the original one stays. Both are wrong IMHO, but the hypocrisy and double-standards are blatant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand it may be a formality but it’s an important one to her and her mother who had terminal cancer. I will also be named the guardian in her will so will have legal custody in the event anything happens.

The Mother has terminal cancer but they were still able to adopt???

[Anonymous]

Priest (to parents): N and N, you have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so, you are accepting the responsibility of training N in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring N up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

Parents: We do.

Priest (to Godparents): Godparents, N and N, are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?

Godparents: We are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Priest (to parents): N and N, you have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so, you are accepting the responsibility of training N in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring N up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

Parents: We do.

Priest (to Godparents): Godparents, N and N, are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?

Godparents: We are.

And? They follow along, mouth the words and don’t mean them. They may be barely even paying attention. They are just going through the motions to keep grandma happy. This is what is happening at a good percentage of baptisms, you know. Notice how many come to mass (very few) or come back for first communion (a few more- again- to not upset grandma). Yesss lots of Catholics are sincere and devout but also many many are not. Is this the first you have heard this (that some people are just going through the motions and many are outright lying?! I mean that in a nice way too- I just though everyone kind of knew this already. Most priests even do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Priest (to parents): N and N, you have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so, you are accepting the responsibility of training N in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring N up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

Parents: We do.

Priest (to Godparents): Godparents, N and N, are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?

Godparents: We are.

And? They follow along, mouth the words and don’t mean them. They may be barely even paying attention. They are just going through the motions to keep grandma happy. This is what is happening at a good percentage of baptisms, you know. Notice how many come to mass (very few) or come back for first communion (a few more- again- to not upset grandma). Yesss lots of Catholics are sincere and devout but also many many are not. Is this the first you have heard this (that some people are just going through the motions and many are outright lying?! I mean that in a nice way too- I just though everyone kind of knew this already. Most priests even do.

+1. Previous poster: it’s sort of like saying the Pledge of Allegiance. Most people aren’t contemplating the words and considering a sacred unbreakable vow or anything. For most people it is “just what you do” and you say the words without a thought. You may appreciate the general spirit of it but that’s about it. same thing, for many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand it may be a formality but it’s an important one to her and her mother who had terminal cancer. I will also be named the guardian in her will so will have legal custody in the event anything happens.

The Mother has terminal cancer but they were still able to adopt???

Pretty sure they mean the mother’s mother (the baby’s grandma)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Priest (to parents): N and N, you have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so, you are accepting the responsibility of training N in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring N up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

Parents: We do.

Priest (to Godparents): Godparents, N and N, are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?

Godparents: We are.

And? They follow along, mouth the words and don’t mean them. They may be barely even paying attention. They are just going through the motions to keep grandma happy. This is what is happening at a good percentage of baptisms, you know. Notice how many come to mass (very few) or come back for first communion (a few more- again- to not upset grandma). Yesss lots of Catholics are sincere and devout but also many many are not. Is this the first you have heard this (that some people are just going through the motions and many are outright lying?! I mean that in a nice way too- I just though everyone kind of knew this already. Most priests even do.

+1. Previous poster: it’s sort of like saying the Pledge of Allegiance. Most people aren’t contemplating the words and considering a sacred unbreakable vow or anything. For most people it is “just what you do” and you say the words without a thought. You may appreciate the general spirit of it but that’s about it. same thing, for many.

Kinda like marriage vows I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Priest (to parents): N and N, you have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so, you are accepting the responsibility of training N in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring N up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

Parents: We do.

Priest (to Godparents): Godparents, N and N, are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?

Godparents: We are.

And? They follow along, mouth the words and don’t mean them. They may be barely even paying attention. They are just going through the motions to keep grandma happy. This is what is happening at a good percentage of baptisms, you know. Notice how many come to mass (very few) or come back for first communion (a few more- again- to not upset grandma). Yesss lots of Catholics are sincere and devout but also many many are not. Is this the first you have heard this (that some people are just going through the motions and many are outright lying?! I mean that in a nice way too- I just though everyone kind of knew this already. Most priests even do.

+1. Previous poster: it’s sort of like saying the Pledge of Allegiance. Most people aren’t contemplating the words and considering a sacred unbreakable vow or anything. For most people it is “just what you do” and you say the words without a thought. You may appreciate the general spirit of it but that’s about it. same thing, for many.

Kinda like marriage vows I guess.

I suppose it’s possible for some...but most people take marriage a lot more seriously than whether to baptize a kid or be a godparent , and definitely more seriously than the Pledge!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I suppose it’s possible for some...but most people take marriage a lot more seriously than whether to baptize a kid or be a godparent , and definitely more seriously than the Pledge!!

You can take the part about caring for and loving the kid VERY seriously, without caring about the bible or the dogma.

Many atheists are married in churches for family and for societal ritual in the same way.

We realize the devout may not like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I suppose it’s possible for some...but most people take marriage a lot more seriously than whether to baptize a kid or be a godparent , and definitely more seriously than the Pledge!!

You can take the part about caring for and loving the kid VERY seriously, without caring about the bible or the dogma.

Many atheists are married in churches for family and for societal ritual in the same way.

We realize the devout may not like that.

+1. Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Priest (to parents): N and N, you have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so, you are accepting the responsibility of training N in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring N up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

Parents: We do.

Priest (to Godparents): Godparents, N and N, are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?

Godparents: We are.

And? They follow along, mouth the words and don’t mean them. They may be barely even paying attention. They are just going through the motions to keep grandma happy. This is what is happening at a good percentage of baptisms, you know. Notice how many come to mass (very few) or come back for first communion (a few more- again- to not upset grandma). Yesss lots of Catholics are sincere and devout but also many many are not. Is this the first you have heard this (that some people are just going through the motions and many are outright lying?! I mean that in a nice way too- I just though everyone kind of knew this already. Most priests even do.

This is us. The ILs just would NOT STFU about it. DH finally caved. I disagreed but to us it was just a little water. Kid is now 10 and has has never attended a church service other than a wedding or two. We chose friends as godparents and both were raised Catholic but neither of their own kids are even baptized lol. We explained the situation and they were happy to help. We intentionally didn’t choose any of DHs ultra Catholic sibs because we knew they might take their duties seriously and it would just lead to more harassment down the road. If the church doesn’t want people to lie then they should get a handle on their followers and tell them to stop pressuring atheists into this stuff- I mean really what is the point!? I’m sure there are tons and tons of people like us out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is us. The ILs just would NOT STFU about it. DH finally caved. I disagreed but to us it was just a little water. Kid is now 10 and has has never attended a church service other than a wedding or two. We chose friends as godparents and both were raised Catholic but neither of their own kids are even baptized lol. We explained the situation and they were happy to help. We intentionally didn’t choose any of DHs ultra Catholic sibs because we knew they might take their duties seriously and it would just lead to more harassment down the road. If the church doesn’t want people to lie then they should get a handle on their followers and tell them to stop pressuring atheists into this stuff- I mean really what is the point!? I’m sure there are tons and tons of people like us out there.

I don’t think it’s the Church you can’t say no to - it’s your MIL! They aren’t tracking you down to baptize your child at all. You just aren’t solid enough in your own principles to stand up to your ILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a Catholic Church in the Arlington diocese? You’ll need your marriage blessed. And they make that a huge deal. Been there, done that.

And you'll have to have a letter from your parish indicating that you are a CAtholic in good standing (you've donated, done confession, participate in Mass, etc.). Other dioceses are more lenient