Asked to be Godparent - help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lapsed Catholic and recent Godmother here. They just asked what my parish was (same city but different parishes) but not if I attended. I was not asked to prove anything - baptism, confirmation, mass attendance - nothing.

It’s totally NBD nowadays.

This is not always the case and varies significantly by diocese and specific church. For our children’s baptisms (Arlington diocese) the godparents were required to provide documentation of their own completion of the sacraments and a letter from the priest at their home parish stating they were active members of the church. Obviously many other churches are less strict, so you’re best off just talking to your friend’s church about their particular requirements because the process is in no way uniform.
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it have to be through the church or can it be more informal? If it has to be through the church, tell her the situation and have tell her check with the priest.

Uh, that's godparent

[Anonymous]

Everyone’s experience getting around the requirement is lovely, but since her church requires the letter, you need to abide by that. You will need to find a church that will give you a letter without knowing you. Some may, some adamantly will not. Your best bet would be to try the church you were confirmed in. If you are relatively young, they might accept the explanation that you haven’t registered in another parish yet.

Or you could be honest with the mother that you aren’t practicing and can’t get a letter. If the other godparent can, you can just be the Christian witness.

And none of this has anything to do with being the legal guardian so that part is fine as long as you agree to it legally.

[Anonymous]

Please it’s easy. Accept the honor.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure you have to be confirmed? Dh and I are both lapsed Catholics. We got DS baptized because it meant a lot to our mothers. Dh's sister was never confirmed and she was able to be the Godmother

[Anonymous]

Geez, people. As several have already posted, the only thing that matters is what the priest doing the baptism requires! What you did in your church or what your friend did in their church is irrelevant.

FWIW - I'm godparent to four kids in four different parishes around the country, and they all required proof of good standing from my parish. Mine requires the same. Doesn't mean yours does or doesn't though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure you have to be confirmed? Dh and I are both lapsed Catholics. We got DS baptized because it meant a lot to our mothers. Dh's sister was never confirmed and she was able to be the Godmother

When you baptized your son in the Catholic Church did you as the parents not have to pledge to raise him as a Catholic according to church teachings? I think that is a pretty standard requirement across even the most liberal parishes, so not sure if your experience is in line with the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez, people. As several have already posted, the only thing that matters is what the priest doing the baptism requires! What you did in your church or what your friend did in their church is irrelevant.

FWIW - I'm godparent to four kids in four different parishes around the country, and they all required proof of good standing from my parish. Mine requires the same. Doesn't mean yours does or doesn't though.

+1 million. Every. Parish. Is. Different. Your friend needs to explain your situation to her priest and see what he says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure you have to be confirmed? Dh and I are both lapsed Catholics. We got DS baptized because it meant a lot to our mothers. Dh's sister was never confirmed and she was able to be the Godmother

When you baptized your son in the Catholic Church did you as the parents not have to pledge to raise him as a Catholic according to church teachings? I think that is a pretty standard requirement across even the most liberal parishes, so not sure if your experience is in line with the norm.

LOL. People lie...probably a good 50% of baptisms in the Church are to “get family off our backs” and you generally don’t ever see the kid again. A few come back for First Communion (again, just to please family and/or throw a party). Surely this is obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure you have to be confirmed? Dh and I are both lapsed Catholics. We got DS baptized because it meant a lot to our mothers. Dh's sister was never confirmed and she was able to be the Godmother

When you baptized your son in the Catholic Church did you as the parents not have to pledge to raise him as a Catholic according to church teachings? I think that is a pretty standard requirement across even the most liberal parishes, so not sure if your experience is in line with the norm.

LOL. People lie...probably a good 50% of baptisms in the Church are to “get family off our backs” and you generally don’t ever see the kid again. A few come back for First Communion (again, just to please family and/or throw a party). Surely this is obvious.

It is. And it’s sad that they make light of something that is meant to be sacred and is important to so many. But that’s on them for not being honest with themselves and their families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure you have to be confirmed? Dh and I are both lapsed Catholics. We got DS baptized because it meant a lot to our mothers. Dh's sister was never confirmed and she was able to be the Godmother

When you baptized your son in the Catholic Church did you as the parents not have to pledge to raise him as a Catholic according to church teachings? I think that is a pretty standard requirement across even the most liberal parishes, so not sure if your experience is in line with the norm.

LOL. People lie...probably a good 50% of baptisms in the Church are to “get family off our backs” and you generally don’t ever see the kid again. A few come back for First Communion (again, just to please family and/or throw a party). Surely this is obvious.

It is. And it’s sad that they make light of something that is meant to be sacred and is important to so many. But that’s on them for not being honest with themselves and their families.

I don’t know...I’m from a Catholic family and I can see why people do it. Some family members push so hard for these things that it’s easier to “give ina nd fake it” than cause a rift. I’d venture to say this is very common actually. I think the Catholic family members bear some responsibility here as they are putting their lapsed/non-believing family in an impossible situation. I don’t understand why they would prefer that the couple stand up there and lie (and everyone knows they are lying, including the pushy family and probably even the priest)- I really don’t understand it.

[Anonymous]

Atheist here with 5 catholic baptized god-children.

With each one I braced for the moment when the intolerable priest (5 different churches, BTW) would grill me about my beliefs and promises and I would have to back out.

That never occurred. Not even once. Not even close.

It's an honor like serving in a wedding party at a church, IMHO. You don't have to follow the religion to participate in a wonderful thing.

It creates a special bond with the kid. Anyone who says it carries mandatory dogmatic responsibility being a petulant jerk. If the parents know what you think and ask you anyway that means you are the kind of person they want their kid to look up to.

Do it and enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Atheist here with 5 catholic baptized god-children.

With each one I braced for the moment when the intolerable priest (5 different churches, BTW) would grill me about my beliefs and promises and I would have to back out.

That never occurred. Not even once. Not even close.

It's an honor like serving in a wedding party at a church, IMHO. You don't have to follow the religion to participate in a wonderful thing.

It creates a special bond with the kid. Anyone who says it carries mandatory dogmatic responsibility being a petulant jerk. If the parents know what you think and ask you anyway that means you are the kind of person they want their kid to look up to.

Do it and enjoy it.

Liar. The rite of baptism in the Catholic Church specifically includes the priest asking the godparents if they are ready to help the parents in their Christian duty to the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atheist here with 5 catholic baptized god-children.

With each one I braced for the moment when the intolerable priest (5 different churches, BTW) would grill me about my beliefs and promises and I would have to back out.

That never occurred. Not even once. Not even close.

It's an honor like serving in a wedding party at a church, IMHO. You don't have to follow the religion to participate in a wonderful thing.

It creates a special bond with the kid. Anyone who says it carries mandatory dogmatic responsibility being a petulant jerk. If the parents know what you think and ask you anyway that means you are the kind of person they want their kid to look up to.

Do it and enjoy it.

Liar. The rite of baptism in the Catholic Church specifically includes the priest asking the godparents if they are ready to help the parents in their Christian duty to the child.

Lol. I highly highly doubt she is lying. DHs culturally catholic, C&E family is just like this. No one comes right out and says they are an atheist but I expect some probably are. None of them take their religion seriously at all. It’s more of a cultural thing. They still get their kids baptized just fine, and use each other as godparents. Yes the rite includes wording..people just repeat, say “we will” or whatever- they don’t really mean it (at least as interpreted by the Church). Godparents are just a special aunt uncle or family friend who get you gifts for birthdays etc. This is not even remotely uncommon..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atheist here with 5 catholic baptized god-children.

With each one I braced for the moment when the intolerable priest (5 different churches, BTW) would grill me about my beliefs and promises and I would have to back out.

That never occurred. Not even once. Not even close.

It's an honor like serving in a wedding party at a church, IMHO. You don't have to follow the religion to participate in a wonderful thing.

It creates a special bond with the kid. Anyone who says it carries mandatory dogmatic responsibility being a petulant jerk. If the parents know what you think and ask you anyway that means you are the kind of person they want their kid to look up to.

Do it and enjoy it.

Liar. The rite of baptism in the Catholic Church specifically includes the priest asking the godparents if they are ready to help the parents in their Christian duty to the child.

Lol. I highly highly doubt she is lying. DHs culturally catholic, C&E family is just like this. No one comes right out and says they are an atheist but I expect some probably are. None of them take their religion seriously at all. It’s more of a cultural thing. They still get their kids baptized just fine, and use each other as godparents. Yes the rite includes wording..people just repeat, say “we will” or whatever- they don’t really mean it (at least as interpreted by the Church). Godparents are just a special aunt uncle or family friend who get you gifts for birthdays etc. This is not even remotely uncommon..

+1. This is the vast majority of Catholics, for better or worse