Prek - 3 adjustment
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Anonymous
| The other big adjustment point is rules. School has more rules than daycare and young prk-ers or kids with more dominant personalities can have a hard time adjusting. I've seen this with my kids in both traditional DCPS and a charter that was Montessori-like. Both environments were warm and play-based but had different rules and norms the kids had to conform to (lining up, walking instead of running, sharing). |
Anonymous
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OP again.
So, Little Boy sat in his chair and wet himself yesterday. This is a kid who will wake up in the middle of the night to go potty, so I'm not sure if this was just one of those things or a sign that he's really struggling. His teacher also sent a note home that he tends to watch the other kids while they are working rather than focusing on his own. Sigh. Parent-teacher conferences are coming up soon, but I'm really thinking that this is just not a good fit. |
Anonymous
Is he in a Montessori school/program? I am asking because you used the word "work." My kids are at a Montessori school, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt, but: Re: wetting himself: my PK4 kid, who is nighttime potty trained, has the occasional accident at school because he gets so distracted. May not be the case for your kid, but I would get more information on when the accidents are happening. Maybe he isn't totally comfortable on where the bathroom is yet? Him watching other kids "work" is not necessarily a bad thing, but I understand it comes off that way if the teacher is sending a note home. I'd talk to the teacher at parent-teach conferences to see if they are concerned; if so, why; ask if the teacher tries to engage him when he is just sitting; etc. Sorry it's been a rough transition. The first few months doing dual-kid drop off at out Montessori (LAMB) was honestly hell last year. It was a huge adjustment for PK3. |
Anonymous
OP, was this just one accident or a pattern? If just one accident I would not worry at all. Very occasional accidents are nothing to worry about. |
Anonymous
He's in a traditional DCPS program - my guess is that they have worksheets and he's not really interested in doing them. The bathroom is in the classroom, and the only other accident happened when he didn't thoroughly wipe himself after a BM. I'm trying not to overthink things, but I suspected he was not doing well earlier and I put my concerns aside to give things time. Now it's too late to move him to a charter or another DCPS that might be a better fit and I could kick myself for not listening to my gut. |
Anonymous
If you're mainly upset because of the accident, I would not be. Like others, I think one accident is not any thing to worry about. I do understand being upset about the teacher's note. It's a little odd to me because, so what? I would not even wait for a conference, I'd feel free to talk to the teacher after school one day this week to find out more. I'm not a fan of traditional style, but my almost three year old who missed the cutoff is in a very traditional preschool and they do sit like that; we don't get notes about anything though. I'd base my feelings more on speaking face to face with the teacher. If you still aren't reassured, I'd perhaps consider asking for him to switch classrooms to another teacher (they can be SO different). Talk to the principal as soon as you can. It *might* be worth calling schools TODAY to see if you can still get in - those mentioned here which may still have a spot open were CHML and SSMA. At least you'd know. But don't feel bad if not, I think you can resolve it with the school. |
Anonymous
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I agree with PPs that I wouldn't worry about the accident, unless it's part of a larger pattern. The note home warrants some follow up though. It may be that the teacher means your kid is being very timid, or afraid to engage with others, or something like that. Not that a note is the best way to convey that information, but fine. But if the issue is that your kid watches others to get the lay of the land, or prefers to do something other than the art project, that's pretty normal. Or, worse yet, if the issue is that your kid is watching others do worksheets, then you need to think about whether you want your kid doing worksheets in PK! I doubt it's the last issue though--i think DCPS ECE is mostly on creative curriculum or similar, which is play based, so shouldn't have worksheets other than coloring pages and such.
GOOD LUCK |
Anonymous
| In terms of accidents - my son had accidents on a regular basis in Prk3 and Prk4. He just wasn't good about listening to his body when he got involved with play or learning at school. |
Anonymous
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My Pre-K 3 kid who has been potty trained for 2 years occasionally still has accidents at school. She gets distracted or is in the middle of something and waits too long. And usually once it happens, it happens a few times in a row then resolves itself. I think it's okay unless he's telling you he's too afraid to go or is holding it on purpose. Then I'd have a conversation with the teacher.
Ask the teachers for a copy of the schedule. Our lackluster charter is definitely not doing worksheets or tons of desk time for pre-k 3. I would try to think about what exactly is making you uncomfortable about the situation and whether your kid is uncomfortable or you're projecting your feelings on him. I would also defer to the teacher's judgment. Don't ask whether you should pull him out, but ask whether he seems to be struggling more than others to adjust and whether he generally seems happy during the day. He's not going to be perfectly happy all of the time. My kid, who is almost 4 and did the transition like a pro, is still telling me that some days she "cries because she misses mommy" during the day. I'm 110% sure that's normal and I'm not worried at all, but if I was already stressed about the move I'd probably be overthinking it too! |
Anonymous
Don't beat yourself up, OP. It is still early in the school year. One accident is no big deal. My PK3 boy has also had a few accidents at school in spite of being potty trained all year without issue. My kid also had a tough transition into school and my gut was also telling me that we made a huge mistake pulling him from his beloved daycare and putting him into pre-K. BUT -- we've been riding it out and I think he is starting to adjust. As a parent, it was making my heart ache to see my son struggling, especially when I knew it would be easy to put him back in a program that he loved. But I honestly think these things just take time, especially at 3 years old, which is already a tough age for kids for so many reasons. In other words -- you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do the "right" thing, but sometimes the "right" thing is giving your kid the opportunity to sort things out rather than pulling him out of a situation that you think isn't working after just a few weeks. Maybe this is the wrong program for your son; I don't know. All I know is that he's 3 and he's exhibiting developmentally appropriate behavior and you're doing the best you can and I think you deserve to cut yourself some slack. I hope things get better as the school year goes on. |
Anonymous
Our kid took about 2-3 months to really adjust. The crying at drop off stopped long before but the after school meltdowns kept regularly up until November. We actually started exploring co-ops and other options for part-time preschool right as kid turned the corner. PRk 4 was at the same school and just a a few weeks of typical adjustment. Kindergarten means no naps and the maxed out melt downs are back about half the week but we are better prepared to navigate them. A lot of people will not like this idea. But if you have the flexibility you could always do a early pick up or keep him/her at home an extra day for a few weeks as they adjust. You can't keep skipping whole days for forever it will negativity impact class mates in the long run. A pick up right before they start nap and going home and napping with a parent might be a nice stress break. |
Anonymous
| My pk3 kid is in a traditional DCPS and they never have any worksheets. OP, are you sure this is what they’re doing? PK3 is very much play based. Watching another kid work could be watching them build their LEGOs. |
Anonymous
Same. 3 & 4 year olds don't do worksheets at DCPS. |
Anonymous
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Chiming to say that accidents are absolutely normal. My kid had occasional accidents throughout PK3. They get busy and ignore having to go potty.
Also, OP. Make sure your kid is getting plenty of sleep. With both of my kids, the first eight weeks or so were rough because they were just exhausted. Many of our friends, even though with kids from daycare, said the same thing. The tiredness makes it all worse. My PK4 kid even had a few weeks to readjust this year and he adores school. He was mostly just tired. And don't hesitate to reach out to the teacher now and ask to touch base. |
Anonymous
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The accidents are normal. They sometimes forget to go, or they have to wait in line behind other kids who also have to go. Adjusting to sharing a bathroom in a big group.
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