Prek - 3 adjustment

[Anonymous]

OP- this absolutely varies for each individual child. For us when my DC started a small preschool at the age of
two, it was terribly difficult for me as a mom to leave my kid with “strangers”. After a week of adjustments, my DC was eager to go back everyday and still remembers and asks about the staff. He’s been to now two others schools after that and has done well with each transition. I would give it time, unless your totally uncomfortable with the staff. One thing I had to learn was the drop off, hug/kiss and leave method...sticking around didn’t help the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my DS has a mid-January birthday so he's actually one of the oldest kids in his class. Drop-offs were fine last week, but he looked totally dejected at pick up and literally fell apart the minute he saw me. He's been unusually clingy the last two days; I make a point of saying my goodbyes and keeping it short and sweet. His school sent a class picture on their app and he just looked so unhappy - he's been in daycare since infancy and I'm frankly surprised that he seems so unhappy.

He's not in aftercare and attends a DCPS; I wonder if a half-day Montessori program would be a better fit.

My belief is that daycares/private preschools are MUCH more focused on nurturing and keeping the kids happy. PK3 at a DCPS/Charter is basically tacked on to an elementary school, and the kids are expected to fit into that (e.g., moving around classrooms for specials) rather than the other way around. And they are already starting with the test prep in PK3, and the teachers have to do a LOT of data collection for various measurements. For some kids this is fine; other kids would be much happier in a low-key program. Unless you really need the extra money, there's no harm in waiting until K for "real school." And by K, my July boy who could not cope with DCPS at 3 was more than ready for a full day of school!

I think you’re on to something; the first thing he wanted to do when he got to school last Thursday was to play, but wasn’t allowed to because of he had to learn the “rules”. I assumed that since Pre K is play-based there would be more, well, playing. He’s at a Title 1 so maybe they are more concerned with assessments and measurements. If he doesn’t settle in I will be sure to look for a school with a strong SEL orientation for next year.

[Anonymous]

My DC didn’t settle down until after winter break. This was 3 years ago and she loves school, her teachers and friends but those months were brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my DS has a mid-January birthday so he's actually one of the oldest kids in his class. Drop-offs were fine last week, but he looked totally dejected at pick up and literally fell apart the minute he saw me. He's been unusually clingy the last two days; I make a point of saying my goodbyes and keeping it short and sweet. His school sent a class picture on their app and he just looked so unhappy - he's been in daycare since infancy and I'm frankly surprised that he seems so unhappy.

He's not in aftercare and attends a DCPS; I wonder if a half-day Montessori program would be a better fit.

My belief is that daycares/private preschools are MUCH more focused on nurturing and keeping the kids happy. PK3 at a DCPS/Charter is basically tacked on to an elementary school, and the kids are expected to fit into that (e.g., moving around classrooms for specials) rather than the other way around. And they are already starting with the test prep in PK3, and the teachers have to do a LOT of data collection for various measurements. For some kids this is fine; other kids would be much happier in a low-key program. Unless you really need the extra money, there's no harm in waiting until K for "real school." And by K, my July boy who could not cope with DCPS at 3 was more than ready for a full day of school!

I think you’re on to something; the first thing he wanted to do when he got to school last Thursday was to play, but wasn’t allowed to because of he had to learn the “rules”. I assumed that since Pre K is play-based there would be more, well, playing. He’s at a Title 1 so maybe they are more concerned with assessments and measurements. If he doesn’t settle in I will be sure to look for a school with a strong SEL orientation for next year.

So I actually don't think this has anything to do with being Title I or SEL curriculums (and also that you can tell anything about the program from the orientation ...) It's just that it's public pre-SCHOOL- they're treating the kids like students as part of a public program. Daycares just want to keep little kids happy, pretty much.

[Anonymous]

Give it at least a month, possibly two. You should see signs that your child is settling in, enjoying some aspects of the school (centers, story time, his friends), even if drop off continues to suck or s/he is a hangry mess at the end of the day. Drop off sucked for several months but mine did get progressively less clingy. At Prk3-4, neither really wanted to go to school, wear the uniform, have less play time but they were happy during the day, were able to report something good about the day, and had friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my DS has a mid-January birthday so he's actually one of the oldest kids in his class. Drop-offs were fine last week, but he looked totally dejected at pick up and literally fell apart the minute he saw me. He's been unusually clingy the last two days; I make a point of saying my goodbyes and keeping it short and sweet. His school sent a class picture on their app and he just looked so unhappy - he's been in daycare since infancy and I'm frankly surprised that he seems so unhappy.

He's not in aftercare and attends a DCPS; I wonder if a half-day Montessori program would be a better fit.

My belief is that daycares/private preschools are MUCH more focused on nurturing and keeping the kids happy. PK3 at a DCPS/Charter is basically tacked on to an elementary school, and the kids are expected to fit into that (e.g., moving around classrooms for specials) rather than the other way around. And they are already starting with the test prep in PK3, and the teachers have to do a LOT of data collection for various measurements. For some kids this is fine; other kids would be much happier in a low-key program. Unless you really need the extra money, there's no harm in waiting until K for "real school." And by K, my July boy who could not cope with DCPS at 3 was more than ready for a full day of school!

I think you’re on to something; the first thing he wanted to do when he got to school last Thursday was to play, but wasn’t allowed to because of he had to learn the “rules”. I assumed that since Pre K is play-based there would be more, well, playing. He’s at a Title 1 so maybe they are more concerned with assessments and measurements. If he doesn’t settle in I will be sure to look for a school with a strong SEL orientation for next year.

So I actually don't think this has anything to do with being Title I or SEL curriculums (and also that you can tell anything about the program from the orientation ...) It's just that it's public pre-SCHOOL- they're treating the kids like students as part of a public program. Daycares just want to keep little kids happy, pretty much.

Yep. And for the most part, all of the DCPS and charter preks are similar, with the exception of the Montessori's. But those are not play-based at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my DS has a mid-January birthday so he's actually one of the oldest kids in his class. Drop-offs were fine last week, but he looked totally dejected at pick up and literally fell apart the minute he saw me. He's been unusually clingy the last two days; I make a point of saying my goodbyes and keeping it short and sweet. His school sent a class picture on their app and he just looked so unhappy - he's been in daycare since infancy and I'm frankly surprised that he seems so unhappy.

He's not in aftercare and attends a DCPS; I wonder if a half-day Montessori program would be a better fit.

My belief is that daycares/private preschools are MUCH more focused on nurturing and keeping the kids happy. PK3 at a DCPS/Charter is basically tacked on to an elementary school, and the kids are expected to fit into that (e.g., moving around classrooms for specials) rather than the other way around. And they are already starting with the test prep in PK3, and the teachers have to do a LOT of data collection for various measurements. For some kids this is fine; other kids would be much happier in a low-key program. Unless you really need the extra money, there's no harm in waiting until K for "real school." And by K, my July boy who could not cope with DCPS at 3 was more than ready for a full day of school!

I think you’re on to something; the first thing he wanted to do when he got to school last Thursday was to play, but wasn’t allowed to because of he had to learn the “rules”. I assumed that since Pre K is play-based there would be more, well, playing. He’s at a Title 1 so maybe they are more concerned with assessments and measurements. If he doesn’t settle in I will be sure to look for a school with a strong SEL orientation for next year.

So I actually don't think this has anything to do with being Title I or SEL curriculums (and also that you can tell anything about the program from the orientation ...) It's just that it's public pre-SCHOOL- they're treating the kids like students as part of a public program. Daycares just want to keep little kids happy, pretty much.

+1 on previous poster

[Anonymous]

Oh, I remember how rough this was. My little one would cling to me, and many of the kids seemed scared and joyless during those first few weeks. I asked the teachers if I could come in and sit with them for a bit and they welcomed me. I did that twice, just hanging out and observing (in the tiny chairs). After that, I had a better grasp of the routine and could say, you really liked the story time, or the run and touch the numbers game and remind her that she did have fun. It got better!

[Anonymous]

The other thing to remember, OP, is that ALL of the kids are new to this environment, routine, and each other. So it's not like daycare where there's 1 or 2 new kids at a time or where they stagger moving up between age groups. It takes a little while for the teachers to get to know the kids, the kids to figure out the routine, and the kids to get to know each other. And when you add in eating lunch and snack, using the bathroom, and nap, there's not a ton of other time in the first few days.

There should be play - and lots of it - but what your kid is probably experiencing is more the tough transition of a whole bunch of little people all a bit unsettled together than a truly bad fit. Give it time, see how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Kids adjust, and it's easy to forget how resilient they can be. Also, you mentioned your child is already one of the oldest in the class. If you basically hold him back a year, he will be that much older than his classmates going forward, and he may become self-conscious about that.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for talking me off the ledge everyone! I'm going to chill the hell out and give it time.

[Anonymous]

I think my child was outlier and sincerely hope you won’t experience the same but she cried almost every day at drop offlast year for Pre-K3. She was a September birthday and her first time in school and I just think she wasn’t ready. She was fine once dropoff drama was over but never really thrived or was thrilled being there. She was much happier on days she could stay home and just play all day. It’s been MICH better this year but still some anxiety in the morning and I still worry we may have traumatized her by keeping her in. Not to add to your worries, but as others have said, trust your gut. Really hoping it gets better very soon and that your DC has a great year!

[Anonymous]

As the parent of an older kid but is around school a lot, every year I see a couple of kids who really struggle in the beginning. Some families push through and some bail and try again the next year. Often it has nothing to do with the teacher, curriculum, or school. It’s ok if it’s just not working.

But, agree with PP that kids are flat-out exhausted at the end of the day, so that’s not the time to judge. That exhaustion can last months. If your child is still struggling during the day after you’ve left, the teacher isn’t going to say it was all fine.

[Anonymous]

Someone mentioned nap and food. Check with the teacher on this!! My PK3 was a wreck for a week or two because turns out she wasn’t napping (new environment) and also wasn’t eating the school lunch. Started packing lunches and she napped and all better. Could be that basic.

I’m disturbed that some say PK isn’t play based and is less fun. It should be and I think is at some schools. I visited some during the school day and it looked very fun. Teachers warm and nice environment. Even our daycare had structure like you start in circle or sit at tables. We are at Montessori so may be different but the whole atmosphere is very nurturing. I am sorry to hear others aren’t but I wouldn’t expect this is the same everywhere or that PK is “tacked on”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone mentioned nap and food. Check with the teacher on this!! My PK3 was a wreck for a week or two because turns out she wasn’t napping (new environment) and also wasn’t eating the school lunch. Started packing lunches and she napped and all better. Could be that basic.

I’m disturbed that some say PK isn’t play based and is less fun. It should be and I think is at some schools. I visited some during the school day and it looked very fun. Teachers warm and nice environment. Even our daycare had structure like you start in circle or sit at tables. We are at Montessori so may be different but the whole atmosphere is very nurturing. I am sorry to hear others aren’t but I wouldn’t expect this is the same everywhere or that PK is “tacked on”.

I totally agree that the PK should be play-based--if what you are seeing in your classroom isn't, then you should be asking some questions. Our PK (EOTP Title 1, not Montessori) is very warm, very play-centered, very calm. That is not to say that some of the kids are struggling with drop-off, of course!