Would you travel without your kid the first week of Kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious, does the birthday friend have kids? Presumably most kids will be starting school around that date. Do most of these friends have kids roughly the same age as yours?

The birthday family has 3 kids (11, 9 and 3), but they live in Ohio and school starts for them mid August. Plus none of them are starting a transition year. The other couples have younger kids none of whom will be starting at a new school that week.

If MCPS started August 16 I don’t think I’d be asking the question. My DS is really good with transitions but will be at the same full day preschool for 3 years and none of the kids in his class will be going to his K school

It's so weird to me that social circles with families with multiple kids do things like have destination birthdays across the country and expect their friends to show up ... are you guys all very wealthy??

Regardless, everyone will understand if you sit this one out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I explained why the trip is important to us in my original post. We don’t see each other often, especially all together, and getting the group together is important to all of us. But I’m not sure it warrants us leaving our kid right before his first day of school. My feeling is that if school starts the week before, then we will go. Does anyone know when MCPS sets its 2020 calendar?

Call them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I explained why the trip is important to us in my original post. We don’t see each other often, especially all together, and getting the group together is important to all of us. But I’m not sure it warrants us leaving our kid right before his first day of school. My feeling is that if school starts the week before, then we will go. Does anyone know when MCPS sets its 2020 calendar?

Wait, this is a year out? Why can't the date be changed to mid-September if everyone being together is that important?

[Anonymous]

I would totally go, and my kids are starting K this year so I'm thinking about how I'd feel only a month from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I explained why the trip is important to us in my original post. We don’t see each other often, especially all together, and getting the group together is important to all of us. But I’m not sure it warrants us leaving our kid right before his first day of school. My feeling is that if school starts the week before, then we will go. Does anyone know when MCPS sets its 2020 calendar?

Wait, this is a year out? Why can't the date be changed to mid-September if everyone being together is that important?

This. I mean, if the trip is *that* important to the whole group, then surely a better timeframe can be identified. It's really not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd send the person who is closest to the birthday celebrant.

But really - you do need to start adjusting your social lives. A 40th birthday is not really something to prioritize in terms of time and money. Is everyone in your group going to now expect to have destination 40th birthdays everyone attends??

It might be different if the party was for a single friend who had showed up for all the showers and weddings. Then I think I would make the effort.

I posted earlier that I wouldn't go, but it really comes down to this. That's way too high maintenance a friend for me. We have close friends in various circles, and at some point, we've matured out of these kinds of things.

How sad for you and your friends. We definitely still celebrate birthdays, especially milestone ones. It's a great excuse to get friends together at a beach house, which sounds like tons of fun to me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd send the person who is closest to the birthday celebrant.

But really - you do need to start adjusting your social lives. A 40th birthday is not really something to prioritize in terms of time and money. Is everyone in your group going to now expect to have destination 40th birthdays everyone attends??

It might be different if the party was for a single friend who had showed up for all the showers and weddings. Then I think I would make the effort.

I posted earlier that I wouldn't go, but it really comes down to this. That's way too high maintenance a friend for me. We have close friends in various circles, and at some point, we've matured out of these kinds of things.

How sad for you and your friends. We definitely still celebrate birthdays, especially milestone ones. It's a great excuse to get friends together at a beach house, which sounds like tons of fun to me!

Why? We still get together often and have a great time doing it, birthdays, etc. The dads all have a two yearly guys weekends, the moms have more regular nights out, etc. We just pay attention to the basics of timing and our other life commitments. It's possible to enjoy life and celebrate milestones in a manner that also lets you be there for major milestones for your kid (and starting K absolutely is one).

[Anonymous]

I am always shocked at the posts on here about DC area school districts not having their calendars set a year in advance. Our district always has the current year and the next two available.

I wouldn’t have both parents be gone the first week of kindergarten. There’s usually a LOT going on and even kids who have been in preschool/daycare are often overwhelmed by the first week(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't miss the first week of school. My kid would be a tired mess with a lot of emotions to get out that week and it wouldn't be fair to him or the grandparents to leave them to deal with it.

First week of K (we have full day here) tends to be exhausting, even for kids who did extended day preschool or full day preschool.

[Anonymous]

No I would not miss my kid's first day of K. He's one who doesn't handle transitions well, I'd want to be there for him. I think any kid would want their parents there.

Is there a way to just go for part of the trip and make it back to for start of K?

[Anonymous]

It’s crazy to ask for an RSVP more than a YEAR away.

[Anonymous]

No.

Personally, over the top celebrations for adult birthdays (even "milestones") strike me as completely obnoxious. I probably wouldn't go even if it wasn't my kid's first day of kindergarten.
But I do see the first day of kindergarten as a HUGE milestone in YOUR CHILD's life.
To miss something this important in your kid's life to go hang out with friends...makes you seem like a self absorbed, selfish parent, who maybe shouldn't have had children.

[Anonymous]

I think its highly unlikely that MCPS will start after labor day for 2020. The legislature over-rode the Hogan executive order that forced them to start after Labor Day. MCPS always hated the post-Labor Day start, and I think there's no way they will keep it now that they are not required to. My guess is they will start either the Monday before Labor Day (their old system), or the Monday before that (which was what they were debating when the Hogan order came down). Post this question on the MD Schools Forum and you will get many more informed answers. But I'm not planning any summer trips for late August 2020! I agree they should have it out soon, as many people do plan vacations one year ahead to get reservations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our best friend is planning a 40th birthday trip to California Labor Day 2020. They’re renting a house and need a headcount ASAP. We really want to go- we love this group of friends and have been close since high school and have stayed close despite being spread out over the country, through deaths, divorces, and illness, all of which makes celebrating milestones like this even more special.

BUT—Our DS (our only kid) will be starting Kindergarten around that time. MCPS hasn’t announced 2020 start dates yet, but would presumably be Sept 8, the Tuesday after Labor Day. Grandparents could watch him while we’re gone. It would be a 4 or 5 day trip thurs or fri to mon.

Would you commit to go on this trip? Does your answer change if school starts Aug 31 vs Sept 8?


I would vote no but, is there any reason why you can"t ask for a different date?

[Anonymous]

Honestly I don’t have friends who like celebrating themselves in over the top ways, but it sounds like this is normal for your group. If so, your son probably won’t be upset by it, assuming you make time for this kind of stuff regularly. My kids would have thought it was strange, but mostly because it would not have come up, and they aren’t used to both of us leaving for the weekend anyway.