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hiding pregnancy - mocktails?
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Anonymous
| Had several work related holiday events this week and using "I'm on antibiotics" worked really well, didn't even need to go into details. |
Anonymous
| Depending on the situation, you could also bring your own bottle of non-alcoholic wine and stash it someplace at the party where you can refill it inconspiculously. I did this at my own party (obviously easier than someone else's house), but probably still do-able. |
Anonymous
|
OP - be careful with your ruse!
When you announce your pregnancy in 3 months (or whenever you decide) you don't want your coworkers saying "oh my gosh, and your drank at the office party - shame on you!" ...that is what happened to me even after I tried to explain I was faking it, then I looked like an even bigger duntz. |
Anonymous
I always wonder about this, too. I decided I can't really worry about what others think that much and it is more important in some circles to hide my early, fragile pregnancy. |
Anonymous
| I second the "carry around whatever you usually drink" approach. If you are usually a wine drinker, and suddenly you switch to "7&7" your friends will either guess what is up or try to get you into some sort of counselling program. With that said, though I'm generally a wine drinker, when I was pregnant I carried around a lot of beers, which I would switch off with my husband periodically--he is much more of a beer drinker. Pulled this off successfully many times, but there were some close friends that I had to tell earlier than I otherwise would have because of the wine issue. It definitely is a red flag. One of my friends got outed by her grandma at Thanksgiving dinner because she wasn't drinking. Good luck and congratulations! |
Anonymous
|
I just had dinner with my best friend and her husband and I wasn't ready to tell her yet (she is prego as well and I am only 8 weeks - I don't know, just didn't want to steal her lime light...). In any case, I ordered a glass of wine (my standard), took maybe 2-3 small sips and then started faking a "I'm not feeling so great, better switch to water". Truth be told, I have horrible m/s so I probably looked sick as well, but seemed to work...
If I just didn't order a drink, she would immediately know. Works for a dinner out where people tend to pay closer attention.... |
Anonymous
| I turned down a glass of wine at Thanksgiving, and my mother loudly asked "why aren't you drinking?" I was not pregnant, but trying, and trying to hedge my bets. Good thing. Now I am really faced with OPs problem. I am sure my mom was fishing. Now she's going not going to believe me that I wasn't pregnant then. |
Anonymous
|
OP here. Glad this thread was so lively! Managed okay last weekend but we had folks over tonight and I thought I was doing okay - had a mixed drink and it's not the group of women that would 100% associate me with wine - sort of more a mixed crowd where I knew I'd be fine with a mixed drink. Anyway, was pouring a drink (cran and soda with lime) while everyone was in the other room and didn't realize a friend had walked in and she was totally like, is there any alcohol in that? It was late in the night and I was tired and I just couldn't really get the words out to lie. Ugh. I'm only six weeks and definitely nervous about having a miscarriage (which is totally normal, i know, and also still very possible).
What a pain in the ass this whole part is. |
Anonymous
i completely agree. also just say no thanks when somebody offers you a drink. i tried the mocktails thing while ttc w/ fertility treatments for 2 years and it got really old and actually sort of stressful. now that i am actually pregnant, i dont' really give a damn what people think - they can speculate all they want. |
Anonymous
| trying to say no thanks just makes people guess you are pregnant. this happened to me on friday night. |
Anonymous
| Try a "near beer", like a Kaliber, Clausthaler or Becks N/A. Most people won't even realize you're having a N/A beer if you drink it out of the bottle. Or, you can pour it in a glass, and it looks just like a regular beer. |
Anonymous
' This works for some people and not for others. For those of us who were big drinkers pre-pregnancy, we can't really get away with "no thanks." |
Anonymous
| I also carried around a glass of beer or wine and surreptitiously switched it with DH's glass periodically so it would look like my glass was getting lower. Anytime anyone even seemed like they were going to ask me why it didn't seem like I was drinking, or why I wasn't drinking as much as I normally might have, I'd say something like "I was just heading for a refill, can I get you something?" That usually shifted the focus off my drink and onto theirs. |
Anonymous
i wrote this response about saying "no thanks" and i was a "big drinker"; before i got pregnant- i drank and smoked everynight, and every weekend night, and at every party i threw or went to... anyway i still don't care...too stressful. everyone is different so whatever works. |