Am I a busy body helicoptering someone else's kid, or is this a legit concern?

[Anonymous]

I came in expecting something else. I think what you did was appropriate. I likely would have done the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very nice of you to check on him. I do think a member of the staff needs to stay until all kids are picked up.

At a bus stop? Camp bus stops are generally at safe public places like schools or playgrounds. At about 9, my kid was walking home from the camp bus some days, and waiting a few minutes for me to grab his younger sibling who got out at the same time. before I came to get him. He had a cell phone, knew the plan and was fine waiting. Delaying the rest of the bus run would nave made no sense.

OP for all I know this was my kid. Although I think he was safe, if he reported what you did I would be pleased to know that there were people in the community looking out for him. However, if you had complained to the camp about the bus leaving, or tried to get him in your car, or kept bothering him after he made it clear he was fine, I would have considered that helicoptering.

If he had seemed surprised not to see a parent, or scared, or reported that he didn’t know what was going on then a different response might have been on order, but in this circumstance I think either just leaving or checking and then leaving was fine.

If you don't want someone else to care about your child, care enough to pick them up on time or make arrangements for someone else to pick them up. At 9, your child is your responsibility and a parent should be there, especially if a younger sibling is involved. I get running late every so often but you do this on a regular basis. Young kids still need supervised and supported. Thank goodness for people like OP to care when the parents don't.

PP you are replying to,

Helicoptering and caring about your kids are two totally different things.

I don’t get your comment about a younger sibling. Younger sibling was with me. Why would that fact impact the safety of my older kid?

I also think it is a little weird to say that running late is OK but planning for it isn’t. Planning for it, meant that we had scoped our the location (in our case the local public elementary school where our kids don’t attend but go to the playground regularly), made sure he had what he needed, practiced what to do if something came up. So he felt confident. If I had just failed to show up he would have been worried and unprepared.

Just out of curiosity, if I was letting my 9 year old walk home from school would you feel the same way?

The kid here wasn’t 9. You two are on some irrelevant frolic and detour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was good to check but I would have stayed until their parents came or at least alerted the staff a child was still there. They generally aren't allowed to leave until all children are picked up but not all staff/camps are well-managed.

It is far too hot for anyone to be left in full sun so heat stress and heat stroke are real concerns regardless of the water.

Also, while abduction isn't rampant, it is still common enough to warrant concern.

Better safe than sorry.

OP is one side of the line and is fine. This pp is on the other side and is helicoptering. The difference is checking to make sure other person is ok and believing him when he says he is. PP, on the other hand, is insisting on inserting herself into the situation and convinced that the other kid can’t possibly be safe unless she Is there. Throw in some fearmongering about practically nonexistent dangers and there’s the helicoptering of other people’s kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here
Thank you everyone.

Yeah, the bus definitely doesn't stay until everyone is picked up and there's no real "staff" on the bus; it's just the bus driver who drops everyone off and then goes on to the next stop (it has 3 stops total, all at local middle schools.)

[Anonymous]

I think it was fine. You checked on him, his answers indicated that he was fine, you left. I also think it's nice that you had your son go over. Another kid is definitely less threatening than an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you did was appropriate. You waited and had your son check on him before you left.

Agree. Common sense and kind and thoughtful. If I were his parent, I would be most appreciative. Also, I do not agree that it is all right to let anyone sit in severe westher--hot or cold-- for ten minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never leave a situation where a kid gets off a bus or it's the end of a practice and looks like somebody doesn't have a ride. I always say, "hey do you need to call somebody" etc.

Usually they say, no my mom/dad/nanny is going to be late. Then I would leave.

Once I showed up at my kids school on a holiday because I needed to drop off something and a kid was sitting there, the mom didn't realize there was no school. We called her.

This is not helicoptering it's common courtesy.

Totally in agreement with you, PP. Especially the bolded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what you did was appropriate. You waited and had your son check on him before you left.

Agree. Common sense and kind and thoughtful. If I were his parent, I would be most appreciative. Also, I do not agree that it is all right to let anyone sit in severe westher--hot or cold-- for ten minutes.

This is normal summer weather for this area. Children and adults sit at bus stops and wait for buses to come in the summer on a daily basis. I'm curious if you would have thought the same thing if the kid had been playing on the basketball court, or if he'd moved from the drop off spot to the public bus stop and waited 10 minutes there, or if he walked home. About half the middle schoolers on my kids' camp bus walk home.

Checking on him was fine, but being outside for 10 minutes is not a problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, you were absolutely right to be concerned and are a good parent for caring.

[Anonymous]

none of your business

[Anonymous]

I think you're being dramatic about the heat but agree if there is a kid left alone during a pick up to stay and ask if he has a ride/means to contact parent.