Neighbor assumes I’ll watch her kid

[Anonymous]

What everyone else said. But I'm confused. Did she indicate more than just a one day thing?

And how did she assume anything if she asked you?

[Anonymous]

“Suzy, 9am will never work. I can’t commit, but I wouldn’t be opposed to taking it week by week”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What everyone else said. But I'm confused. Did she indicate more than just a one day thing?

And how did she assume anything if she asked you?

This. It's fine to say no, that doesn't work for you, or you can't commit to doing it every week, but she did ask, which is the opposite of assuming. And she mentioned reciprocation, so she's not expecting you to do this for nothing.

[Anonymous]

Just figure out what you want and propose it to her. It sounds like you haven't really made up your mind on what you want or are willing to do, so it's hard to approach her with that.

You can say exactly what you said in your post regarding being happy to do it once in a while but not comfortable with it as a full-summer arrangement. Just recognize that if she needs to find another solution, she's likely going to find a regular caregiver and you might lose out on the occasional opportunities and reciprocity.

[Anonymous]

I think she's interested in negotiating because she asked what time would work. Does she have some flexibility? Maybe she could go to work later if 9am doesn't work for you.

[Anonymous]

"It sounds like you need consistent and reliable child care, and I am not prepared to offer that. Please make other arrangements. If you want to talk later about making plans for us to informally watch each other's kids on a recipricol basis, I am open to that."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep it simple,

No, I have my hands full with my two and cannot babysit.

THIS

+1.

[Anonymous]

This is why I'm not friends with SAHM. They always think we're trying to use them, when in reality, if we we stoop to asking for a favor, it means we're absolutely desperate and ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not friends with SAHM. They always think we're trying to use them, when in reality, if we we stoop to asking for a favor, it means we're absolutely desperate and ashamed.

Really? You are not friends with ANY SAHM’s? For THIS reason? Not sure what being a SAHM has to do with it. If I worked, I STILL don’t want to provide childcare for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not friends with SAHM. They always think we're trying to use them, when in reality, if we we stoop to asking for a favor, it means we're absolutely desperate and ashamed.

Why are you desperate so often? Why don’t you plan better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just say "no." If you need to explain, say that it doesn't work with your kids and schedule. It's not an emergency, right?

With people like this, if you say you can help in an emergency, suddenly every day becomes an emergency.

x100000

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not friends with SAHM. They always think we're trying to use them, when in reality, if we we stoop to asking for a favor, it means we're absolutely desperate and ashamed.

I’m a WOHM and I’m friends with plenty of SAHMs, and other WOHMs. We all help each other in *emergencies* or truly special circumstances. But we all know that you plan and pay for regular, reliable, bread and butter child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep it simple,

No, I have my hands full with my two and cannot babysit.

THIS

+1.

+2

Try Care.com. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I'm not friends with SAHM. They always think we're trying to use them, when in reality, if we we stoop to asking for a favor, it means we're absolutely desperate and ashamed.

I’m a WOHM and I’m friends with plenty of SAHMs, and other WOHMs. We all help each other in *emergencies* or truly special circumstances. But we all know that you plan and pay for regular, reliable, bread and butter child care.

This, exactly!

If someone has a job and needs someone to watch their kid, even if it’s for an hour, they need to find dependable childcare. This isn’t an emergency. My day care center is on fire and I have to be at work, is an emergency.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to be firm with this type of user - er, person.