Agnostics visiting slightly religious family members for Xmas

[Anonymous]

I kinda don't get the "fear of religion" tone here on this thread. It is part of our culture, our GLOBAL culture, and is CRITICAL to understanding the world and how people relate. By shielding your children, you are doing a huge disservice. Do people think if you educate your children ABOUT faith they will HAVE faith??? It is a head-shaker. If you want your children to develop their own opinions, then give them enough respect to give them the information. Don't let your OWN opinions with faith (which are neither valid nor invalid) dictate how you raise your children. Like respect for ANY culture, your children should understand what prayer is, what to do during it (stay silent and still), WHO people are praying to, and even WHY. My heavens, as adults, we do this for others, why wouldn't we teach our children to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kinda don't get the "fear of religion" tone here on this thread. It is part of our culture, our GLOBAL culture, and is CRITICAL to understanding the world and how people relate. By shielding your children, you are doing a huge disservice. Do people think if you educate your children ABOUT faith they will HAVE faith??? It is a head-shaker. If you want your children to develop their own opinions, then give them enough respect to give them the information. Don't let your OWN opinions with faith (which are neither valid nor invalid) dictate how you raise your children. Like respect for ANY culture, your children should understand what prayer is, what to do during it (stay silent and still), WHO people are praying to, and even WHY. My heavens, as adults, we do this for others, why wouldn't we teach our children to?

Who is arguing against this?

[Anonymous]

It's inevitable that your children will have to hear about Jesus being apart of Christmas since it is THE reason for Christmas. I too am not religious but have no worries about my DD learning about Jesus and Christmas through others since historically that's what the holiday is all about. Kids are curious, accepting and probably won't give it half the thought that an adult would. I wouldn't stress to hard over the situation.

[Anonymous]

I am curious of some of you arguing that Jesus IS what Christmas is all about have any familiarity with history and the origins of Christmas at all? You know it wasn't always a Christian holiday..... right?

[Anonymous]

13:21: Of course prepping the children is a good idea. (I wrote the quoted comment). That's not the point.

The purpose of my comment was to assure the OP that she doesn't need to worry about what they hear on the day. She can focus on teaching respect that way. That's lesson enough.

As for those of you getting carried away expressing your own views about religion: Bah Humbug. OP asked a legit question, and wants thoughtful advice about how to deal with the diversity she faces in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The WORD Christmas is the mass of Christ. But that doesn't change the fact that the longest night of the year (or thereabouts) is celebrated by many people who DON'T believe in Christ. English is a living and evolving language; the word may have once referred specifically to Jesus' birthday but has evolved to encompass many other traditions that surround this time of year.

Halloween is also a Christian holiday (taken from pagan roots). Do you see anything remotely religious about kids in costumes going around the neighborhood for candy?

Halloween is NOT a Christian holiday. The day following, All Saints Day, is (at least in the Catholic Church).

[Anonymous]

Christmas is a Christian holiday, it is a day for Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus”. If I give my child this definition, and we don’t believe in Jesus and we’re not Christian, then how does it make any sense that we celebrate Christmas in our house?

Uh, it doesn't make any sense because if you're not Christian and you don't believe in Jesus, you're not celebrating Christmas. You're using the secular trappings of Christmas without the underlying meaning and purpose of the holiday. That is fine if your family chooses to use the secular traditions at this time of year, but Christmas is a religious holiday. If I put up a Menorah (tho we're not Jewish) and I tell my kids that "some people" believe the oil in the temple miraculously lasted for 8 days, but of course we don't believe anything about that story, but nonetheless it'll be fun to get gifts each day for the next 8 days, am I celebrating Hannukah? No. Hannukah is a religious holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by not exposing your children to religion now, you are 99% assuring that they will not be religious as adults either. that is your choice of course, but let's not pretend allowing them to decide later on is really realistic.

if you really were open, then why not expose them to different religions now as kids, and then let them decide for themsevles as adults?

I totally agree with this. The whole "let them choose later" approach often ends up the kids not doing anything. Which, in my opinion, is sad.

Well, in my opinion it is sad that you decide what your child should believe before s/he is old enough t odecide for him/herself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Christmas is a Christian holiday, it is a day for Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus”. If I give my child this definition, and we don’t believe in Jesus and we’re not Christian, then how does it make any sense that we celebrate Christmas in our house?

Uh, it doesn't make any sense because if you're not Christian and you don't believe in Jesus, you're not celebrating Christmas. You're using the secular trappings of Christmas without the underlying meaning and purpose of the holiday. That is fine if your family chooses to use the secular traditions at this time of year, but Christmas is a religious holiday. If I put up a Menorah (tho we're not Jewish) and I tell my kids that "some people" believe the oil in the temple miraculously lasted for 8 days, but of course we don't believe anything about that story, but nonetheless it'll be fun to get gifts each day for the next 8 days, am I celebrating Hannukah? No. Hannukah is a religious holiday.

ITA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The WORD Christmas is the mass of Christ. But that doesn't change the fact that the longest night of the year (or thereabouts) is celebrated by many people who DON'T believe in Christ. English is a living and evolving language; the word may have once referred specifically to Jesus' birthday but has evolved to encompass many other traditions that surround this time of year.

Halloween is also a Christian holiday (taken from pagan roots). Do you see anything remotely religious about kids in costumes going around the neighborhood for candy?

Halloween is NOT a Christian holiday. The day following, All Saints Day, is (at least in the Catholic Church).

Halloween means "All Hallows Eve", or the night before the Catholic holiday of All Souls day. Just like Christmas eve is a part of the official holiday of December 25. By your logic Christmas eve is not a christian holiday. Right?

http://www.americancatholic.org/Features/default.aspx?id=23

[Anonymous]

Christmas is a Christian holiday, it is a day for Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus”. If I give my child this definition, and we don’t believe in Jesus and we’re not Christian, then how does it make any sense that we celebrate Christmas in our house?

Uh, it doesn't make any sense because if you're not Christian and you don't believe in Jesus, you're not celebrating Christmas. You're using the secular trappings of Christmas without the underlying meaning and purpose of the holiday. That is fine if your family chooses to use the secular traditions at this time of year, but Christmas is a religious holiday. If I put up a Menorah (tho we're not Jewish) and I tell my kids that "some people" believe the oil in the temple miraculously lasted for 8 days, but of course we don't believe anything about that story, but nonetheless it'll be fun to get gifts each day for the next 8 days, am I celebrating Hannukah? No. Hannukah is a religious holiday.

Well just so you know, we celebrate Passover and host a Seder every year, except we don't recite the Exodus or anything like that. In fact we just go straight to the brisket, since that's what it's all about for our family. We just like beef. We certainly don't break matzot, in fact we just put out the dinner rolls 'cuz that's how we roll. God I love Passover. Don't get me started on Yom Kippur! Our family loves this one, too. We just skip the fast and go straight to the break the fast meal. (brisket again!)

What's a "secular topping," anyway? Should I be serving that with the brisket?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Christmas is a Christian holiday, it is a day for Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus”. If I give my child this definition, and we don’t believe in Jesus and we’re not Christian, then how does it make any sense that we celebrate Christmas in our house?

Uh, it doesn't make any sense because if you're not Christian and you don't believe in Jesus, you're not celebrating Christmas. You're using the secular trappings of Christmas without the underlying meaning and purpose of the holiday. That is fine if your family chooses to use the secular traditions at this time of year, but Christmas is a religious holiday. If I put up a Menorah (tho we're not Jewish) and I tell my kids that "some people" believe the oil in the temple miraculously lasted for 8 days, but of course we don't believe anything about that story, but nonetheless it'll be fun to get gifts each day for the next 8 days, am I celebrating Hannukah? No. Hannukah is a religious holiday.

1804 apparently is the decider of what we all can and cannot call our holidays based on whether our beliefs meet her criteria. Better start reading the exodus PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:by not exposing your children to religion now, you are 99% assuring that they will not be religious as adults either. that is your choice of course, but let's not pretend allowing them to decide later on is really realistic.

if you really were open, then why not expose them to different religions now as kids, and then let them decide for themsevles as adults?

Off point and judging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Christmas is a Christian holiday, it is a day for Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus”. If I give my child this definition, and we don’t believe in Jesus and we’re not Christian, then how does it make any sense that we celebrate Christmas in our house?

Uh, it doesn't make any sense because if you're not Christian and you don't believe in Jesus, you're not celebrating Christmas. You're using the secular trappings of Christmas without the underlying meaning and purpose of the holiday. That is fine if your family chooses to use the secular traditions at this time of year, but Christmas is a religious holiday. If I put up a Menorah (tho we're not Jewish) and I tell my kids that "some people" believe the oil in the temple miraculously lasted for 8 days, but of course we don't believe anything about that story, but nonetheless it'll be fun to get gifts each day for the next 8 days, am I celebrating Hannukah? No. Hannukah is a religious holiday.

Well just so you know, we celebrate Passover and host a Seder every year, except we don't recite the Exodus or anything like that. In fact we just go straight to the brisket, since that's what it's all about for our family. We just like beef. We certainly don't break matzot, in fact we just put out the dinner rolls 'cuz that's how we roll. God I love Passover. Don't get me started on Yom Kippur! Our family loves this one, too. We just skip the fast and go straight to the break the fast meal. (brisket again!)

What's a "secular topping," anyway? Should I be serving that with the brisket?

I prefer to sprinkle it on my Easter bread, but I suppose you could...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:by not exposing your children to religion now, you are 99% assuring that they will not be religious as adults either. that is your choice of course, but let's not pretend allowing them to decide later on is really realistic.

if you really were open, then why not expose them to different religions now as kids, and then let them decide for themsevles as adults?

I totally agree with this. The whole "let them choose later" approach often ends up the kids not doing anything. Which, in my opinion, is sad.

Well, in my opinion it is sad that you decide what your child should believe before s/he is old enough t odecide for him/herself!

not what the PP said. said expose them to religions, not pre-judging them, to let the child honestly decide for himself.