Anybody join due date groups on Facebook? These women are something...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The names are killing me in my FB due date group. SO BAD. Just in the last name post I saw a Trinity, Harleigh Lynn, Jacklynn, Karsyn, Evryn, Drydyn, Jaxxyon, Emberleigh, and Draco. Not even sure if some of them are boys or girls. And yes, there's a bunch of begging for money/donations, tons of sob stories, so many hot mess relationships. There really are two Americas ...

Evryn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like babycenter! That place is insane and makes me worry for the next generation. No one is married, no one works (sah girlfriends?), and they have too many kids.

I run in DCUM type circles and my partner and I are happily together but not married. I guess good to know people are silently looking down on me? But then again who am I to judge judging because everything else described sounds quite trashy to me. Begging for money on the internet especially.

Seriously? There’s literally no way you didn’t already know this before reading this thread.

Being an unmarried couple with a child has always been taboo. This is not a new thing. And if you think people are looking down on you-you should think about your kid. My parents were never married and it was a constant source of anxiety and people definitely thought less of me. That is until we moved and I just told people my parents were divorced which was much more socially acceptable.

np. I disagree, it's not this way anymore. if you are in a stable long-term relationship, i don't think people bat an eye. in fact, how would anyone know? I know lots of couples (same sex, different sex) and their kids, I don't demand to see a marriage certificate. And married people can have different last names, like me. I didn't change my name.

Unmarried PP here. We are in a nice, stable long term relationship, and I have never gotten a weird vibe if I mention we're not married. But I guess to some it is still a taboo! Meanwhile, the prime minister of new zealand gave birth while in office with her male partner, not husband. Also all of both of our siblings have been married and divorced at least once (some multiple times) so being unmarried doesn't really seem like too bad of a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mommy wars and mom shaming start early, OP. Check your judgement of these women, because soon you will be on the receiving end of it, on every choice you make about your birth, your parenting, how your child is fed, if you work or don’t work, and more.

OP here. In my post I mentioned that this is my 3rd. I'm well aware how this stuff works. But thanks. And yes I'm judging the women who are smoking pot while pregnant, clearly don't have the resources be having another child, have no common sense whatsoever etc... For example, for my last point a woman was posting that she was declining all ultrasounds because "she doesn't want to radiate the baby". Or another one who is refusing NIPT testing for fear of miscarriage. I mean, these aren't parenting differences they are simply just examples of stupidity.

And what exactly does judgement do for you, OP? Does it make you feel superior? Does it make you feel better than someone else? Does it make you feel smug and privileged? Does it make you feel smart, because all those women are “so dumb”? Does it make you feel like a lion, basking in your glory above the sheep? Why exactly DID you start a nasty judgement thread about other moms? I think it says much more about you, than it does them.

Cool. Go make your own topic about how 19 year old Madisyn from Georgia is such a good mom and you’ve learned so much from her and even donated to her GoFundMe for Christmas presents for her 25 year old boyfriend’s 2 kids!

[Anonymous]

I'm in a Reddit based due date group and have seen none of what OP describes - overall it's been pretty great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a Reddit based due date group and have seen none of what OP describes - overall it's been pretty great.

Meaning, we started out on Reddit and then moved to FB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The names are killing me in my FB due date group. SO BAD. Just in the last name post I saw a Trinity, Harleigh Lynn, Jacklynn, Karsyn, Evryn, Drydyn, Jaxxyon, Emberleigh, and Draco. Not even sure if some of them are boys or girls. And yes, there's a bunch of begging for money/donations, tons of sob stories, so many hot mess relationships. There really are two Americas ...

Evryn?

My group has a Riott and a Ransum ... yep, twin boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The names are killing me in my FB due date group. SO BAD. Just in the last name post I saw a Trinity, Harleigh Lynn, Jacklynn, Karsyn, Evryn, Drydyn, Jaxxyon, Emberleigh, and Draco. Not even sure if some of them are boys or girls. And yes, there's a bunch of begging for money/donations, tons of sob stories, so many hot mess relationships. There really are two Americas ...

Evryn?

My group has a Riott and a Ransum ... yep, twin boys.

I know a little boy named Ryker. Pronounced just like the island that houses the NYC jail.

His siblings all have pretty normal names too, they just went off the rails with that one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mommy wars and mom shaming start early, OP. Check your judgement of these women, because soon you will be on the receiving end of it, on every choice you make about your birth, your parenting, how your child is fed, if you work or don’t work, and more.

OP here. In my post I mentioned that this is my 3rd. I'm well aware how this stuff works. But thanks. And yes I'm judging the women who are smoking pot while pregnant, clearly don't have the resources be having another child, have no common sense whatsoever etc... For example, for my last point a woman was posting that she was declining all ultrasounds because "she doesn't want to radiate the baby". Or another one who is refusing NIPT testing for fear of miscarriage. I mean, these aren't parenting differences they are simply just examples of stupidity.

And what exactly does judgement do for you, OP? Does it make you feel superior? Does it make you feel better than someone else? Does it make you feel smug and privileged? Does it make you feel smart, because all those women are “so dumb”? Does it make you feel like a lion, basking in your glory above the sheep? Why exactly DID you start a nasty judgement thread about other moms? I think it says much more about you, than it does them.

Cool. Go make your own topic about how 19 year old Madisyn from Georgia is such a good mom and you’ve learned so much from her and even donated to her GoFundMe for Christmas presents for her 25 year old boyfriend’s 2 kids!

I hope you realize how classist, racist, ageist, and lacking in compassion you sound. Not everyone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth, the good fortune to have access to education, or the privileges of being an affluent, married, educated, working professional woman. Having worked and volunteered across the country with plenty of folks with low income and who live in poverty, I can assure you that most people do the best they can with the resources they have been given.

For your children’s sake, I hope you raise them to have empathy and compassion for others and to be aware of their privilege and not lord it over others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The names are killing me in my FB due date group. SO BAD. Just in the last name post I saw a Trinity, Harleigh Lynn, Jacklynn, Karsyn, Evryn, Drydyn, Jaxxyon, Emberleigh, and Draco. Not even sure if some of them are boys or girls. And yes, there's a bunch of begging for money/donations, tons of sob stories, so many hot mess relationships. There really are two Americas ...

Evryn?

My group has a Riott and a Ransum ... yep, twin boys.

I know a little boy named Ryker. Pronounced just like the island that houses the NYC jail.

His siblings all have pretty normal names too, they just went off the rails with that one!

Gah. I’m the one posting about the twins with bad names and also know a Riker in real life. Sibling names are a bit out there but not as much (Wilhelmina, Rocky).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The names are killing me in my FB due date group. SO BAD. Just in the last name post I saw a Trinity, Harleigh Lynn, Jacklynn, Karsyn, Evryn, Drydyn, Jaxxyon, Emberleigh, and Draco. Not even sure if some of them are boys or girls. And yes, there's a bunch of begging for money/donations, tons of sob stories, so many hot mess relationships. There really are two Americas ...

Evryn?

My group has a Riott and a Ransum ... yep, twin boys.

I know 2 little boys names Ransom. Both of their moms are very well educated, successful, married, etc. I guess the name is in the Bible. Not saying I like it, and spelling it Ransum is bad. Riott is awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mommy wars and mom shaming start early, OP. Check your judgement of these women, because soon you will be on the receiving end of it, on every choice you make about your birth, your parenting, how your child is fed, if you work or don’t work, and more.

OP here. In my post I mentioned that this is my 3rd. I'm well aware how this stuff works. But thanks. And yes I'm judging the women who are smoking pot while pregnant, clearly don't have the resources be having another child, have no common sense whatsoever etc... For example, for my last point a woman was posting that she was declining all ultrasounds because "she doesn't want to radiate the baby". Or another one who is refusing NIPT testing for fear of miscarriage. I mean, these aren't parenting differences they are simply just examples of stupidity.

And what exactly does judgement do for you, OP? Does it make you feel superior? Does it make you feel better than someone else? Does it make you feel smug and privileged? Does it make you feel smart, because all those women are “so dumb”? Does it make you feel like a lion, basking in your glory above the sheep? Why exactly DID you start a nasty judgement thread about other moms? I think it says much more about you, than it does them.

Cool. Go make your own topic about how 19 year old Madisyn from Georgia is such a good mom and you’ve learned so much from her and even donated to her GoFundMe for Christmas presents for her 25 year old boyfriend’s 2 kids!

I hope you realize how classist, racist, ageist, and lacking in compassion you sound. Not everyone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth, the good fortune to have access to education, or the privileges of being an affluent, married, educated, working professional woman. Having worked and volunteered across the country with plenty of folks with low income and who live in poverty, I can assure you that most people do the best they can with the resources they have been given.

For your children’s sake, I hope you raise them to have empathy and compassion for others and to be aware of their privilege and not lord it over others.

Op here. Just to be clear the most recent comment you are replying to wasn't me. But regardless, what I have the biggest problem with is their lack of interest in at least educating themselves using google about how an ultrasound does not "radiate their baby" or that an NIPT test won't cause a miscarriage because it's literally a blood test. They just don't even seem to care. And they are posting in a Facebook group so it's not like they lack access to the internet.

Also racist? You are clearly the one who fits that category as I never mentioned one thing about race and it's clear you are making the assumption that I'm white. I'm not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It became a good way to check my privilege and be grateful for what I have!

It’s privilege to wait to have kids until you’re married and financially stable? No

It's simply reflective of the status you're born with. You may think it's normal to be expected to go to college but in many parts of the US, that would be abnormal. That's just the way it is.

It has nothing to do with going to college. It's having the common sense to wait until you can take care of kid and provide them a stable home, before having them.

Hm, how much of "common sense" is determined by immediate culture, including both reinforcements and deprivations of said culture?

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to be white to be racist, PP.

[Anonymous]

Nothing really changes, FB just allows you glimpses of humanity you are able to avoid otherwise. It has gone astray but I used to have a vintage copy of a eugenics classic called "Safe Counsel", my grandparents or great grandparents (same house both generations on that side) owned. It had all these tableaux illustrations -- the girl or boy who can take the good road or the bad road. For the girl, the bad road starts with stuff like flapper dresses and ends up with babies everywhere and the girl old before her time and dying in squalor. For the boy, similar deal except he starts by playing pool.

Certainly the stigma is less. One of my cousins, a bit older than I, "had to get married" when he was barely 16 and his gf was barely 15. Small town Midwest, their parents were not going to have it any other way (they stayed married until their early 40s, at which time they were both still young enough to start all over). The Magdalen Laundries in Ireland did not completely close until the 1990s.

Or maybe it's just a different kind of stigma now.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible these Rikers are being named after Riker of Star Trek?