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which private school has the most "mean girls"?
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Anonymous
I have noted that oftentimes, mothers who were "mean girls" themselves in school, often have some of the best advice and perspective when this comes out in their daughters. They usually learned their lesson in high-school or college when the tables were flipped on them. Much like the famous 1800s saying that "reformed Rakes make the best husbands" so do school day "mean girls" often make the best mothers of girls. I have found that women who are "mean girls" as grown-ups were rarely the queen bees as girls. Rather they observed or even were the victims of the type and decided to us it as grown-ups once they found themselves in a more "powerful" position. These moms are not going to breed inherently "mean girls" but are much less likely to discourage the behavior and may even encourage it in their daughters when it raises its ugly head. That I find to be the most dangerous type of adult woman and the most dangerous type of mean-girl. Really??? I mean really? This sounds like a 'mean girl': "I was mean in HS but now I am perfect, but the girls I used to pick on, well, they are mean now. I still know I am superior! " Hysterical. Yes, I had the same reaction! |
Anonymous
| Oh, I didn't read it that way before --- now I can see what you're getting at. |
Anonymous
My daughter will be on the same flight as your daughter... I encounter cliquey moms at our private school, too, and I completely agree that most are incredibly insecure. That said, there are plenty of nice, genuine moms (and dads) at our school and, for that, I am very grateful. |
Anonymous
| Nice pp -- which school? |
Anonymous
It's not one that people on this site commonly refer to as a "Big 3." I'll also add that I have many friends that have kids in top public schools in VA and MontCo and they, too, encounter cliqueyness (sp?) so I truly believe that it exists everywhere, unfortunately. I've also learned (from an older and wiser friend who is at the same school) to never take someone's "meanness" or "brashness" to heart as you don't always know what's going on in their personal lives. Like I said before, by and far, most of the moms and dads are really, really nice and fun to be around. (Now I feel badly that I said that some can be cliquey...) |
Anonymous
| I know some really nice women who have some really mean girls. I think it just happens sometimes. One of the meanest girls in my daughter's school was an "Eddie Haskel type" whom some of the teachers and the head of the school were fooled by. The girl was clever enough to have herself invited to every classmates house --- only to use any information she gleaned against the girls. Fortunately, karma has a way of working -- she was rejected at every college she applied to and then had to scramble to get into Davidson...which she hates. |
Anonymous
| I've always thought that sneering "get over yourself" to someone is the hallmark of a mean girl. |
Anonymous
| I didn't see anyone say that on this thread pp... |
Anonymous
| I think all of the private schools probably have a fair share of mean girls given the affluence in the DC area. |
Anonymous
| I think someone would have to visit all of the schools in question and interview some sample groups to get to the answer. |
Anonymous
| I think the woman that wrote the Queen Bees book worked in the DC private schools. |
Anonymous
Me too. I was the original quote. Lots of nice families at our school, which is private. |
Anonymous
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Having had kids in a variety of schools, I've never noticed a consistent difference in mean girl behavior between privates and publics. Nor have I noticed a correlation to affluence; mean girl behavior can come from kids at every income level.
I have noticed that mean girls come in smaller and larger clumps in different grades - in one school, some groups of kids are just generally nice, while the kids a year up or a year down are meaner. And this is consistent as the groups move through the school, unless the school intervenes or some of the kids leave. So, not only would you have to do extensive research on different schools, you would have to research a target grade within each school. |
Anonymous
| All schools have mean girls--it comes with the age. |
Anonymous
She did, at NCS and the Field School among many, many others in this area (so we can't identify some schools as more mean than other schools). A co-worker says she knows the parents of one of the meanest girls described in the book -- and the parents are quiet, retiring PhD types who were perplexed to have such an aggressive daughter. That said, I know some mean girls with mean mommies. I think it's hard to predict the meanness level from the parents. |