I’ve lost myself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH can handle it, what absolute nonsense that he can't. For a couple of hours?! Is that him saying he can't handle it or you?

Seriously. What a bunch of BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i posted in another thread, i've not only lost myself, i don't exist really. i get it. my one year old doesn't sleep, has never slept through the night, gets rocked to naps, and wants to always be moving or playing, i wear the same pants and shirt, i barely get through work, i dread the nights, i dread the exhaustion of the morning, i dread the day errands and being tired and looking like trash and feeling fat in my own body. so no advice, just letting you know i feel the same and i don't think it gets better (people said it would, but it's not true).

How would you know it doesn’t get better if your kid is only one year old?

Because everyone said it would get better after “fourth” trimester ....after they start solids....after they start walking....after they can express themselves....guess what, it hasn’t so all those “it gets better” have been empty reassurances from people who have help or easy kids. i stand by what i said...how can it get better? it doesn’t, just harder.

Does your one year old spit up a lot still? Cries when he eats? Or is all ok on that front?

[Anonymous]

It is a phase, but that doesn't necessarily help to hear when you're in it. It sounds like you're burned out a little with your current life. I would take that time at Starbucks, get a blank journal, and start writing some lists -- what you don't want your life to be like (OK if it includes some things that are currently there) and what you do want. What you want to accomplish, for yourself and your family in your dream world, let reality come later.

Many women get through that phase because they have something like a vision of where they want to be, whether that's career-related or family-related. Maybe that will help.

[Anonymous]

Im still BFing, bedsharing/cosleeping, etc. but my kid has had issues since birth (tongue/lip tie, reflux diagnosed by a scope due to problems with his larnyx, cows milk protein intolerance, and other allergy issues). He still doesn't sleep through the night and I am happy to get a 4-5 hour stretch although I end up getting 7-8 hours total sleep.We didn't experience the "getting better" part until recently and my son is 15 months old. At 8 months I did a 4 week PT session to help with some issues post C-section, but that was super hard to work into the schedule. We kept getting the advice that it would get better but it really didn't, not until 13 or so months when he started walking. I still need to go to a PT for other pelvic work but my leave is demolished by doctors appointments and other sick leave from this winter.
Around one year I was able to go to the gym again after work while Dad holds down the fort for 75-90 minutes. I've been going for 3 months and it has helped tremendously. Weekends are still insane with special cooking to due food allergies, cleaning, etc. We don't have the funds to get a regular cleaner and have limited help from family so we haven't had a date night in almost a year.
I did find that taking time for myself (90 min 3-4/week) helped me be a better mom- more energy, less aggravated. Prioritize and let the rest fall back for awhile. As things do "get better" you can slowly add some things back in.