What is wrong with these parents ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell another parent (who is a good friend of mine) that their DC is getting into mischief? I tend to mind my own business, but am torn b/c I "think" I would want to know if it were my child.

I would tell them. I have told other parents when I feared for their child's life. They don't like me too much, but I figure it is better that they dislike me than the child dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell another parent (who is a good friend of mine) that their DC is getting into mischief? I tend to mind my own business, but am torn b/c I "think" I would want to know if it were my child.

I would tell them. I have told other parents when I feared for their child's life. They don't like me too much, but I figure it is better that they dislike me than the child dying.

Yeah, but the OP said all the other parents already know what's going on. So in this case what would be the point? She even said she tried to get the other parents on the same page and they weren't with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell another parent (who is a good friend of mine) that their DC is getting into mischief? I tend to mind my own business, but am torn b/c I "think" I would want to know if it were my child.

I would tell them. I have told other parents when I feared for their child's life. They don't like me too much, but I figure it is better that they dislike me than the child dying.

I would tell them and I would want someone to tell me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In three very short years these kids will mostly be on their own in college or elsewhere, shouldn’t there be a gradual process of letting them have some independence and maturity? Is there hard evidence of drinking, pot, etc.? And as far as calling the police, doesn’t everyone really have something else to do besides harassing these teenagers, especially since obviously yours isn’t there? I remember fondly many teenage summers of hanging out with my friends without adults breathing down our necks. Let it go.

Of course as kids grow they need to get more independence and learn to take responsibility for themselves. That being said, it's not "three short years" in terms of brain development. There is a big difference between a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Just as there was a big difference in the "three short years" between a one year old and a four year old, and there will be a big difference between an 18 year old and a 21 year old. In adolescence the brain changes more than at any time since your first year. Don't kid yourself or make excuses for lax parenting. Be aware of what's going on developmentally before you make assumptions about their maturity.

[Anonymous]

The other parents know what's going on and are allowing their own kids to sleep/party over at the party friend's house. I think they are nuts but unless this house is next door to you and you are literally being disturbed by this, I think you should stay out of it and let the chips fall where they may.

You don't call the cops because your kids' friends are behaving irresponsibly and tempting your own kid to do the same. Your job is to steer your own child into making better choices.

Unless the noise from these parties is keeping you up at night or you are routinely having drunk kids passing out in your yard or puking on your sidewalk, they are not disturbing you. You have no first hand knowledge of what is actually happening over there, you only know what you suspect. I'm sure their direct neighbors feel differently though and at some point somebody is going to call the cops on those people. Make sure that your own kid is not over there when that happens.

[Anonymous]

They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you tell another parent (who is a good friend of mine) that their DC is getting into mischief? I tend to mind my own business, but am torn b/c I "think" I would want to know if it were my child.

I would tell them. I have told other parents when I feared for their child's life. They don't like me too much, but I figure it is better that they dislike me than the child dying.

I would want to know and would appreciate you reaching out to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

Yes but do you really think this is free range or permissive parenting when EVERYONE but OP is ok with it? Maybe, but not likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

Yes but do you really think this is free range or permissive parenting when EVERYONE but OP is ok with it? Maybe, but not likely.

OP thanks for feedback. Realize title was judge mental. Just frustrated. I’ve had teens at theee different private schools, There was always some cohesion among the parents on this stuff with my other kids’ social group. But this school and child are different and it’s been much tougher. I’ve seen a lot and this is pretty outside the norm. I’m far from over protective or naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

Yes but do you really think this is free range or permissive parenting when EVERYONE but OP is ok with it? Maybe, but not likely.

OP thanks for feedback. Realize title was judge mental. Just frustrated. I’ve had teens at theee different private schools, There was always some cohesion among the parents on this stuff with my other kids’ social group. But this school and child are different and it’s been much tougher. I’ve seen a lot and this is pretty outside the norm. I’m far from over protective or naive.

Are you willing to share what school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

Yes but do you really think this is free range or permissive parenting when EVERYONE but OP is ok with it? Maybe, but not likely.

OP thanks for feedback. Realize title was judge mental. Just frustrated. I’ve had teens at theee different private schools, There was always some cohesion among the parents on this stuff with my other kids’ social group. But this school and child are different and it’s been much tougher. I’ve seen a lot and this is pretty outside the norm. I’m far from over protective or naive.

I'm not OP and I am NOT ok with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

Yes it starts in 7th and 8th. Seeing this in 8th. Parents okay with this behavior. Op where is this school located? What school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are free range parents. Kids can do what they want with no limits. The reality is the parents get free range of not parenting their kids as kids were a status symbol and they want to be cool/fun friends not parents.

yes, there are parents who want their kids to be popular/cool over all else even if it means being completely permissive. I'm starting to notice this now in middle school.

Yes but do you really think this is free range or permissive parenting when EVERYONE but OP is ok with it? Maybe, but not likely.

OP thanks for feedback. Realize title was judge mental. Just frustrated. I’ve had teens at theee different private schools, There was always some cohesion among the parents on this stuff with my other kids’ social group. But this school and child are different and it’s been much tougher. I’ve seen a lot and this is pretty outside the norm. I’m far from over protective or naive.

I'm with you on this - wouldn't let my kids go if I believed alcohol or drugs were involved.

I'll add this: if this is what you're dealing with in freshmen year I might consider changing schools. Maybe everyone is lucky and makes it through school unscathed and maybe not and someone drives drunk and dies or someone gets raped or overdoses.

[Anonymous]

We had one of those houses in the neighborhood when I was growing up - parents always absent (either at work or traveling internationally), teenage kids having parties multiple times a week. I spent a lot of time there and had a lot of fun. My parents didn't know the parents weren't home... it didn't even occur to them to check since we were 16-17 years old (they did ask and we lied lied lied)