Married outside the Catholic Church- can I come back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not Catholic and we were not married in the church. We are registered members in the Arlington diocese.

OP here. How?! My husband is protestant and we wanted to be married in the Catholic church originally and we weren't able to make that happen. DH would not agree to converting.

The priest who gave you that advice is flat-out wrong. My husband is not Catholic and we were married by a Catholic priest.

Ditto.
The spouse of a Catholic person absolutely does not need to convert to get married in a Catholic church. You can't (usually) have a *mass* but it's still a sacramental wedding.

We had the full “high Mass” and DH is Protestant.

FF to now and I’m not even Catholic anymore so I wish we’d married in his church instead.

We could have had a mass, but we chose not to, because at least half our guests weren't Catholic and would not have been able to take communion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not Catholic and we were not married in the church. We are registered members in the Arlington diocese.

OP here. How?! My husband is protestant and we wanted to be married in the Catholic church originally and we weren't able to make that happen. DH would not agree to converting.

The priest who gave you that advice is flat-out wrong. My husband is not Catholic and we were married by a Catholic priest.

Ditto.
The spouse of a Catholic person absolutely does not need to convert to get married in a Catholic church. You can't (usually) have a *mass* but it's still a sacramental wedding.

We had the full “high Mass” and DH is Protestant.

FF to now and I’m not even Catholic anymore so I wish we’d married in his church instead.

We could have had a mass, but we chose not to, because at least half our guests weren't Catholic and would not have been able to take communion.

Me again, who you’re responding to—the priest made a point of announcing right before communion that only those who were eligible to receive the sacrament should come forward. Hated that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My diocese (another state) is welcoming our family with open arms. I was raised and confirmed Catholic. We weren't married in the Catholic church. Now that we have children, I wanted to join our local Catholic church and was surprised how easily they agreed. The jist of it, if you've got children you want to introduce to the church then they'll roll out the red carpet.

That’s because it spells MONEY. How nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realized when I pushed that sometimes these requirements have NOTHING to do with actual canonical law or universal policy.
.

Not to mention that canon law has NOTHING to do with the actual Bible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My diocese (another state) is welcoming our family with open arms. I was raised and confirmed Catholic. We weren't married in the Catholic church. Now that we have children, I wanted to join our local Catholic church and was surprised how easily they agreed. The jist of it, if you've got children you want to introduce to the church then they'll roll out the red carpet.

That’s because it spells MONEY. How nice!

And they want to continue the Catholic church into future generations. Sure, that's about money too but one could argue everything about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My diocese (another state) is welcoming our family with open arms. I was raised and confirmed Catholic. We weren't married in the Catholic church. Now that we have children, I wanted to join our local Catholic church and was surprised how easily they agreed. The jist of it, if you've got children you want to introduce to the church then they'll roll out the red carpet.

That’s because it spells MONEY. How nice!

I’d hate to be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My diocese (another state) is welcoming our family with open arms. I was raised and confirmed Catholic. We weren't married in the Catholic church. Now that we have children, I wanted to join our local Catholic church and was surprised how easily they agreed. The jist of it, if you've got children you want to introduce to the church then they'll roll out the red carpet.

That’s because it spells MONEY. How nice!

And they want to continue the Catholic church into future generations. Sure, that's about money too but one could argue everything about money.

OP here. I was pregnant and was asking to register in a church that I attend (dh attended too). So no, they don't care about future generations.

As I read through this thread, I guess that ship has sailed since I have two children not baptized and I'm now married in a protestant church.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I hope you don't take offense because I understand you want to be Catholic and I respect that.
But I just wanted you to know that there are Episcopalian churches that are quite Catholic-y -- so much so that they are called Anglo-Catholic. One such church is St Paul's on K Street. I think only a small portion of Episcopal churches are Anglo-Catholic (my parish is definitely not, we don't even have a place to kneel... that's called "low church") but you only need one church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to Our Lady Queen of Peace in South Arlington. They are the only church that isn't totally crazy.

-Recovering Catholic married to a Jew.

+1. Our Catholic daughter married her non-Catholic husband there and baptized their kids there with no problem. Yes, one of the godparents has to be Catholic but only one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were married outside of the Catholic Church due to some issues I'd had with my local church (Arlington diocese). They had kept reiterating that DH needed to go through RCIA to get married there. I know we could have just had a Catholic ceremony even though he was Protestant, but the church kept pushing RCIA.

Anyways, it's been a decade now and I miss the Catholic church. 5 years ago I started attending my local Catholic church weekly for several years. I wanted to baptize my baby there when she was born, but was told I could not because we weren't married in the Catholic church. They then sent me a letter telling me I wasn't welcome to take communion or participate until I had my marriage blessed. DH agreed, but after meeting with the priest the "blessing" sounded more like a marriage ceremony with witnesses even. We also had to have many meetings with the priest and they pushed RCIA again.

So is this just how it is? If you're not married in the Church you can't attend/register? What if I just wanted to attend without DH and wanted my kids to attend with me?

Why would you want to be somewhere so unwelcoming?

Go somewhere that will welcome your family.

[Anonymous]

This is nuts OP. I was a lapsed Catholic for decades and came back to Catholicism after my DD was born. I did not have a Catholic wedding, and I married a non-Catholic. DH ended up going through our RCIA years later because he felt moved to do so. We were totally upfront with our priest about not having a Catholic wedding. We did not require any additional blessing of our marriage. I had no problems taking communion or otherwise participating.DD did 1st communion with no problems. Come to Blessed Sacrament- our parish. Welcome Home, OP!

[Anonymous]

Go to a church in a different diocese. My ex and I split before my daughter was born and I had no problems getting her baptized in the Church. The archdioceses of Washington or Baltimore are both friendlier and welcoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not Catholic and we were not married in the church. We are registered members in the Arlington diocese.

OP here. How?! My husband is protestant and we wanted to be married in the Catholic church originally and we weren't able to make that happen. DH would not agree to converting.

The priest who gave you that advice is flat-out wrong. My husband is not Catholic and we were married by a Catholic priest.

Ditto.
The spouse of a Catholic person absolutely does not need to convert to get married in a Catholic church. You can't (usually) have a *mass* but it's still a sacramental wedding.

We had the full “high Mass” and DH is Protestant.

FF to now and I’m not even Catholic anymore so I wish we’d married in his church instead.

We could have had a mass, but we chose not to, because at least half our guests weren't Catholic and would not have been able to take communion.

Me again, who you’re responding to—the priest made a point of announcing right before communion that only those who were eligible to receive the sacrament should come forward. Hated that.

Receiving communion is reserved for Catholics who are spiritually prepared (not aware of unforgiven mortal sin) to receive. That's canon law. At weddings, there will be lots of non-Catholics and fallen-away Catholics in attendance. Hence the announcement. However, I've heard that announcement given in a caring, welcoming way. The priest could announce that he is thrilled to have so many visitors in our Church. He is longing for the day when we all receive at the same Eucharistic table. Non-Catholics and those who are not ready to receive may step forward with arms crossed for a blessing. He asks all to join in prayer for the newly married couple. This is what I wish all priests would say at weddings, funerals, Christmas, and Easter, basically any occasion when we have a lot of visitors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

I hope you don't take offense because I understand you want to be Catholic and I respect that.
But I just wanted you to know that there are Episcopalian churches that are quite Catholic-y -- so much so that they are called Anglo-Catholic. One such church is St Paul's on K Street. I think only a small portion of Episcopal churches are Anglo-Catholic (my parish is definitely not, we don't even have a place to kneel... that's called "low church") but you only need one church.

NP here. Some Lutheran churches feel this way too. I’d just try a few and see if one feels right to you. No need to jump through all these ridiculous hoops when your intentions are good.

[Anonymous]

U can lsowas go bakc the catholic curht is your home.