DH sucks at empathy.
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Anonymous
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You’re equating soap in your eye with “someone in pain.”
Wow. |
Anonymous
| In honestly worried about you once the newborn comes and you realize the world doesn't revolve around you. Which is probably what your DH is thinking. |
Anonymous
+1. |
Anonymous
| Your husband uses a loofah? What the hell has happened to men in this country? |
Anonymous
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I think you might just be feeling sensitive.
The soap/eye situation is kind of a one-person fix. Just rinse until it doesn't hurt. You are already in the shower. It would be like calling him over to wipe your bum after a bowel movement. Not his job. |
Anonymous
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Your expectations of another person's responsibility to make your world the way you want it are not reasonable. He isn't your servant or solace whose job is to just meet your every whim and sacrifice himself on the alter of your needs.
Sorry is a perfectly good response for an accidental movement in a tight shower. Not sure who was in the shower first but it could be he didn't even want you there. |
Anonymous
| I think some of the posts you got overreacted to your situation, so sorry. I am not sure what is really going on here but there seems to be some misunderstanding. The hit with the loofa hurt I am sure. Maybe you could have prompted him to reach you a rag so you could get the soap out of your eyes. We come to gather as man and wife from different background and sometimes different cultures. Things in one household are not handled the same as things in another household. Marriage is a matter of working out what works best for everyone. I have heard it said it is 60% giving and 40% taking on both sides. I pray that you two will find what works for you. If you need a little help in doing that, someone you can both share and talk to, consult a counselor. They may have some advice to help you to work through this adjustment to your marriage before there are hurt feeling and damage. Counseling can sometimes just be damage control and you will probably want to do that to help you ease out the child raising years. Blessings to you and your family and congrats on the upcoming addition to your family. |
Anonymous
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A lot of people are jumping on you OP, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt that your shower incident was just one example provided from a long line of instances where he was uncaring/insensitive/unempathetic.
I get it. I lived with one for 12 years. It is just not something you can teach, explain away, counsel through, or whatever. Some people are just NOT hardwired to be attentive, caring human beings. It doesn't mean your DH is a bad person, it just means that he is never going to "give" as much as you expect or need in certain situations. It will be frustrating at times. You need to figure out how to communicate this without harping on it all the time and work through it, or grit your teeth and accept it. |
Anonymous
| For those who don't know, loofa is abrasive. She could have had a corneal scratch. My DH shows less empathy than a sorry. If you yelled in pain, he may have felt accused and ran away like a scared man baby. It sucks to not feel supported and it represents something more significant considering your pregnancy. |
Anonymous
Oh man, now I have exopthalmos. |
Anonymous
This post cannot be real. OP, I’m not sure if anyone has told you yet, but you are about to push a baby out of your vagina (or have major abdominal surgery.) Then you are probably going to breastfeed your new baby barracuda. Better get over a loofah to the face, ffs. |
Anonymous
| It’s not about you anymore. In about four weeks you will have a baby. Your needs are on the back burner for evermore. |