"entertaining" overvalued?

[Anonymous]

I actually don’t like entertaining but my husband does.

We don’t do it that much (because I am reluctant) but when we do, I am happy we can do it in a space that works for a large number of people and I am proud of it.

I wouldn’t buy a house without a dining room, a formal living room, and a powder room on the ground floor even though I don’t like having big groups of people over.

As an adult with kids and family obligations, you will have to do it sometimes. Holidays, birthdays, work stuff, etc.

[Anonymous]

I tend to go out vs. having people over. But I lead a girl scout troop and coach several youth sports, and there's something to be said for a home that can hold 20-30 people easily. It's nice to be able to host a team party or a troop meeting or a kid's slumber party and not feel too squished. My house is only 1,500 SF but the first floor plan is pretty open so it makes it easier for the times I do entertain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My old house was 1,600 square feet and we regularly hosts family parties for my kids birthdays and holidays. 3-5 Usually 45-50 people 4-6 times a year.

My new house is 6,000 square feet. Nobody comes by. It is further away and people dont like going to big houses for parties, they feel you are showing off. They like small houses so they can feel like the important onces

Projecting jealousy onto other people is stupid. I have no problem going to a big house for a party, and I don't feel "more important" at a party at a smaller house. (That says so much about your insecurities and values.) But if you live further away, it's more of a hassle to get there. And maybe your parties aren't as much fun now, because you've changed how you host to "match" your oversized house.

+1 This is one of the dumbest posts I read on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad you brought this up. We rented a 3 bedroom house because we thought we were gonna start a family (instead dealt with infertility) and thought we’d entertain w/ people spending the night.

Guess what? We’ve entertained maybe 4 times in the two years we’ve been here and only one family has spent the night once. We probably could’ve stayed in our one bedroom apartment. Still, when we buy a house I would like space to entertain since it’s nice to have the option.

The conversations on House Hunters International are always weird like that. People move 10 thousand miles away but they need a huge house because of all the family members who are going to visit. Guess what? Travel is expensive and no, your sister with the four kids is probably never going to have enough money to take the whole gang to visit you in Australia. That's life. If you move really far away, a lot of the emphasis on having guest rooms for multiple visiting family members is probably wishful thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad you brought this up. We rented a 3 bedroom house because we thought we were gonna start a family (instead dealt with infertility) and thought we’d entertain w/ people spending the night.

Guess what? We’ve entertained maybe 4 times in the two years we’ve been here and only one family has spent the night once. We probably could’ve stayed in our one bedroom apartment. Still, when we buy a house I would like space to entertain since it’s nice to have the option.

The conversations on House Hunters International are always weird like that. People move 10 thousand miles away but they need a huge house because of all the family members who are going to visit. Guess what? Travel is expensive and no, your sister with the four kids is probably never going to have enough money to take the whole gang to visit you in Australia. That's life. If you move really far away, a lot of the emphasis on having guest rooms for multiple visiting family members is probably wishful thinking.

Well, some of the places they move are lower cost than the US. So getting a 6 bedroom house is very affordable so why not have the option for guests.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on your age and how much you enjoy hosting other people. I love, love having a large open concept kitchen, family room, dining room and a separate living room plus large game room for kids and great outdoor entertaining spaces (large deck, pool. great backyard). The guest rooms are great for family, out of town friends and even kid sleep overs if they don't want to all be sleeping bags.

[Anonymous]

There was no way to entertain a large group at our old, small cape cod. We went years with no parties.

A house set up for entertaining was important when we bought our new house. Space for people to spread out, kids can go off to a fun space for them, there’s a convenient and nice powder room, kitchen that can handle preparing a lot of food at once, etc.

Not everyone wants these things, but we are very happy with our current arrangement.

[Anonymous]

I kind of get it and I kind of don't.

In one sense: I don't get it, b/c, like many ridiculous things said on HGTV, I think it's overblown and pretty overrated and just not based in reality.

On the other hand: our TH feels really spacious and perfectly fine with it's just our family of four, and yet, you get more than a few other people in there, and I feel like I am tripping over people, which makes me anxious and makes me feel like things are cluttered and claustrophobic and out of my control. So, yeah, we don't really entertain, at all. It does make me feel a little sad, because when I was single I entertained all the time. But also, at that time, I had such a cute little apartment and everything was fun and cute and just the way I liked it, and now, being married with kids, I feel like there is so much junk and clutter, so many things that do not "spark joy," that I don't want people seeing that anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kind of get it and I kind of don't.

In one sense: I don't get it, b/c, like many ridiculous things said on HGTV, I think it's overblown and pretty overrated and just not based in reality.

On the other hand: our TH feels really spacious and perfectly fine with it's just our family of four, and yet, you get more than a few other people in there, and I feel like I am tripping over people, which makes me anxious and makes me feel like things are cluttered and claustrophobic and out of my control. So, yeah, we don't really entertain, at all. It does make me feel a little sad, because when I was single I entertained all the time. But also, at that time, I had such a cute little apartment and everything was fun and cute and just the way I liked it, and now, being married with kids, I feel like there is so much junk and clutter, so many things that do not "spark joy," that I don't want people seeing that anyway.

PS I also LIKE the fact that our visitors have to stay in a hotel. I like a little space and privacy. "Good fences make good neighbors," and all that.

[Anonymous]

I host my aging parents for over a week at a time, several times a year. When we move from our current townhouse, one of the must-haves will be a main level guest room (can be a multipurpose room) and bath that is either a full bath or able to be expanded to full.

I would love to conformably host several families at once, for dinner or book club, or a small kid's birthday party. We can't do that because of parking, layout, etc. You don't need a huge home to host, but some homes work better than others.

[Anonymous]

I want a house that’s good for entertaining. Our current dining area can only fit a table that seats 6. We’d like to be able to have another family of 4 or gasp! 2 families over for dinner. I’d like my kids to have friends over after school as they get older. We don’t have huge parties often, but I’d like our home to be an option for my kids’ BD parties, end of season team parties, a house where kids work in the group project, etc. So entertaining is important to me and My next house will be set up for better food prep for large groups and hosting / serving large groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My old house was 1,600 square feet and we regularly hosts family parties for my kids birthdays and holidays. 3-5 Usually 45-50 people 4-6 times a year.

My new house is 6,000 square feet. Nobody comes by. It is further away and people dont like going to big houses for parties, they feel you are showing off. They like small houses so they can feel like the important onces

Projecting jealousy onto other people is stupid. I have no problem going to a big house for a party, and I don't feel "more important" at a party at a smaller house. (That says so much about your insecurities and values.) But if you live further away, it's more of a hassle to get there. And maybe your parties aren't as much fun now, because you've changed how you host to "match" your oversized house.

+1 This is one of the dumbest posts I read on this forum.

Agreed. That's almost painfully stupid. I'm guessing it's PP's incessant bragging combined with the distance that is keeping friends and family away...

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with small houses as long as you recognize that you will have entertaining limitations, and don't try to cram people in there. No one wants to eat elbow-to-elbow on a card table with a paper plate. No one wants to sleep overnight in a space that just isn't conducive to sleeping; an office is an office.

Let your guests stay in a hotel, if they want to! (I'm looking at you, MIL.) It's fine to have a Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant instead of trying to "make it work" in a small house. (Or have it at your place, but don't invite everyone if you can't actually fit everyone.)

[Anonymous]

We host family for meals about once a week, host friends regularly also. We hosted when we were in a 600 sq foot condo, 1000 sq foot rowhouse, and now a 3400 sq foot SFH. We don't have an open concept house (closed off kitchen) but we do have a large dining room with a big table, connected to a spacious living room with comfy furniture for everyone to eat and then spread out and relax. We took into account our desire to host comfortably plus my desire not to see the kitchen from the front door.

[Anonymous]

The overvalued entertaining area I see is a basement bar. Houses in my hood frequently have a huge 20+ foot L shaped bar which really takes up a huge slice of the basement and limits how you can set up the rest of that level