"entertaining" overvalued?

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else find it a little strange the emphasis that some homebuyers place on hosting guests or entertaining? The powder room thread made me think about it but I hear it in a lot of other contexts, like having room for a huge dining table, or wanting an open concept, or a big luxurious guest room and bath.

What percentage of your life is actually spent entertaining and also, do your guests care that much? I love having people over and do it often, at least weekly, but I don't plan my house around it. People are pretty adaptable and also most problems can be easily solved (pullout beds, folding tables, etc.)

I guess I don't really care I am just always a little confused when people get really worked up about house features (or drawbacks) specifically for the sake of potential guests.

[Anonymous]

Yes,
TV show influence.

[Anonymous]

When we were buying a house, I thought about this stuff. I thought that having the "right" house for it would make me the type of person who wanted to have people in my house to socialize. I thought we'd throw parties. I was wrong. It wasn't the house that was the issue--it was that I'm an introvert and get stressed about having people in my home so avoid doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes,
TV show influence.

Yes, you hear this on HGTV constantly! "Oh this will be a great counter for make your own pizza parties!" Like wtf people.

[Anonymous]

I met with some builders and they kept talking about entertaining. I don't want people in my house. This is for me, not to show off.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think this is ridiculous. Our old house was too small to fit more than 6 people at the kitchen table unless you relocated it into the living room. (There was no dining room.) This was a problem whenever we wanted to have larger groups over for dinner, so maybe 6-10 times a year. And also it had a basement guest room but without a door so we had to walk through to get to our laundry. This was a Pia when grandparents came to visit to help with the kids.

So, when we were looking for a new house it was important that we could fit a table for 8-10 and have a guest room with a door. Not HGTV standards but still important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met with some builders and they kept talking about entertaining. I don't want people in my house. This is for me, not to show off.

Haha yes my kitchen contractor tried to convince me to extend our kitchen so that I could "host Thanksgiving" and I was like, wtf? What do I do with this giant ass kitchen the other 364 days of the year?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met with some builders and they kept talking about entertaining. I don't want people in my house. This is for me, not to show off.

For many, it's not about "showing off"; it's about connecting, sharing, actually spending time together and talking to one another in an increasingly isolated, removed world. This comes up a lot, mostly in the Food forum. I hate the misconception that inviting people to your home, wanting them to have a good time, and sharing a special experience with them is "showing off."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met with some builders and they kept talking about entertaining. I don't want people in my house. This is for me, not to show off.

For many, it's not about "showing off"; it's about connecting, sharing, actually spending time together and talking to one another in an increasingly isolated, removed world. This comes up a lot, mostly in the Food forum. I hate the misconception that inviting people to your home, wanting them to have a good time, and sharing a special experience with them is "showing off."

OP here and I agree with you but that's WHY I don't feel like I need to plan my house around it. I have friends over all the time, am the primary host of playdates, and have even pulled off my share of family holidays but I think part of my attitude about it stems from not thinking guests need a lot of special accommodations built into my house. Years ago we set up a bunch of borrowed card tables and threw tablecloths over them and had a 20 person dinner party in a 1 bedroom apartment. It's one of my fondest hosting memories. So my post wasn't about not wanting to entertain it was about thinking the emphasis on it in homebuying is overblown. Even as a person who really enjoys hosting, it is a very small fraction of the time I'm actually in my home. And usually it's a small group and/ or 1 person who doesn't need any kind of accommodation beyond what I personally already find comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met with some builders and they kept talking about entertaining. I don't want people in my house. This is for me, not to show off.

For many, it's not about "showing off"; it's about connecting, sharing, actually spending time together and talking to one another in an increasingly isolated, removed world. This comes up a lot, mostly in the Food forum. I hate the misconception that inviting people to your home, wanting them to have a good time, and sharing a special experience with them is "showing off."

OP here and I agree with you but that's WHY I don't feel like I need to plan my house around it. I have friends over all the time, am the primary host of playdates, and have even pulled off my share of family holidays but I think part of my attitude about it stems from not thinking guests need a lot of special accommodations built into my house. Years ago we set up a bunch of borrowed card tables and threw tablecloths over them and had a 20 person dinner party in a 1 bedroom apartment. It's one of my fondest hosting memories. So my post wasn't about not wanting to entertain it was about thinking the emphasis on it in homebuying is overblown. Even as a person who really enjoys hosting, it is a very small fraction of the time I'm actually in my home. And usually it's a small group and/ or 1 person who doesn't need any kind of accommodation beyond what I personally already find comfortable.

Sure as someone who once lived in NYC and hosted 50 people at a party in a 800 sq foot apartment, anything is possible but when people get older and move out to the burbs where space is more affordable, some people prioritize having more space to entertain. Others don’t.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s a difference between having functional space that works for your family’s lifestyle and someone else’s preconceived idea of “a layout perfect for entertaining.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met with some builders and they kept talking about entertaining. I don't want people in my house. This is for me, not to show off.

For many, it's not about "showing off"; it's about connecting, sharing, actually spending time together and talking to one another in an increasingly isolated, removed world. This comes up a lot, mostly in the Food forum. I hate the misconception that inviting people to your home, wanting them to have a good time, and sharing a special experience with them is "showing off."

OP here and I agree with you but that's WHY I don't feel like I need to plan my house around it. I have friends over all the time, am the primary host of playdates, and have even pulled off my share of family holidays but I think part of my attitude about it stems from not thinking guests need a lot of special accommodations built into my house. Years ago we set up a bunch of borrowed card tables and threw tablecloths over them and had a 20 person dinner party in a 1 bedroom apartment. It's one of my fondest hosting memories. So my post wasn't about not wanting to entertain it was about thinking the emphasis on it in homebuying is overblown. Even as a person who really enjoys hosting, it is a very small fraction of the time I'm actually in my home. And usually it's a small group and/ or 1 person who doesn't need any kind of accommodation beyond what I personally already find comfortable.

Sure as someone who once lived in NYC and hosted 50 people at a party in a 800 sq foot apartment, anything is possible but when people get older and move out to the burbs where space is more affordable, some people prioritize having more space to entertain. Others don’t.

It gets more awkward when you're the only one left trying to host in an 800 sq foot apartment, your guests sit on the couch to eat, and there isn't really room for adults and kids to hang out in separate areas. I loved hosting in my apartment in my 20s. It doesn't work anymore, I feel like it's nice going to other people's places and they probably are uncomfortable in mine. I also wish I could have people over to eat and hang out in a yard.

That said, I know my day to day commute will get worse when we buy and we probably won't host more than once or twice a month, so it is a small factor. I'd certainly pay more for a house with a dining room than an eat in kitchen, or a basement with room for kids to play by themselves, though.

[Anonymous]

We have people over frequently in our small townhouse. We have a folding table and chairs that get pulled out at least once per month and a pull out bed for overnight guests. I think being welcoming and comfortable with what you have to offer is more important than having the ideal space. People keep coming back so I guess they agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there’s a difference between having functional space that works for your family’s lifestyle and someone else’s preconceived idea of “a layout perfect for entertaining.”

+1. We love our house for entertaining and have had 30 people over with no problems. 20 people for thanksgiving. Our house is small, a bout 1600 sq ft split level in silver spring, but we can host our family as easily as my sister who has a suburban 5000 sq ft mc mansion. Yes she has a bigger kitchen, but our open floor plan w different levels gives lots of opportunity for different conversations, and a separate kids play area.

We would not be able to have this many people over if we had bought a similar size colonial in a similar neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

The big plus of having a bathroom on level is you only have to have that floor clean to have people over. If your only bathroom is upstairs, I’d feel like the bedrooms would need to be tidy as well and we often have unmaid beds and laundry halfway through the folding process.

The guest bedroom is a plus because visitors don’t feel like they are intruding when they stay. When we stay with people with our kids, it feels intrusive and is uncomfortable if we are in their main living smace or displacing anyone.

That’s said I don’t think you need a huge house to do that. I prefer small houses (less cleaning!) but I do see the draw of those feature for entertaining. And not for show off purposes.