Feeling sad that ex has moved on but I haven't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:P.S. I think everyone needs to do what works for them. That said, here's something to think about continuing this with no variation: What if you or your ex fall in love with someone? This would probably result in a change to this arrangement and your daughter might always blame the new love interest for. (Even if you try to hide it from her.)

OP here. I actually don't mind if my ex or myself finds someone new. I hope it does happen however I am not cool with him introducing our DD (and perhaps having this woman take care of our DD while he works) to a new woman every few months. None of his new "girlfriends" have lasted longer than say 6-9 months. If I ever find someone myself, I would never bring a new guy into the picture for a long long time. I am dating, not my daughter. When things get serious, that's when I would introduce the new guy to DD. The thing is is that my ex doesn't ever get serious w/ anyone since he says he never wants to get married and doesn't want kids. He dates young stupid 22 yr olds who think it is "cute" that he has a daughter.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I think you missed my point. Which was that when one of you becomes serious, it's probably going to be tricky to maintain this arrangement. I wasn't talking about dating. I was wrote about falling in love! Anyway, good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP is not the same poster who wrote about the father coming to spend time with the daughter only at the mom's house, put her to bed, etc. OP's daughter goes to her dad's house where she is cared for by a stranger.

[Anonymous]

I do think it's possible for a child to feel stable even if he/she wakes up in different beds during the week. I think it depends on the rapport between the parents and how young the child is when the split happens. Some ages are harder than others for big adjustments like that. My ex and I broke up before I had my daughter, but he's been in her life from birth and we get along well about 99% of the time. At 6 weeks, she started doing overnights at his house, the same time she started daycare. She's never had any problem adjusting to either place - it's just the way it's always been for her. She seems happy at my house and happy at his house. Our parenting philosophies are basically the same, so we're consistent that way. We started with 1 overnight a week and then moved to two, but I don't think he plans to press for more time than that - he seems happy with the 5day/2day split. At times I wish it was more 50/50 but I admit that I like having her around, even if it's harder to get stuff done!