What would you do if waitlisted at your top choice but accepted at another school?

[Anonymous]

DC was WL at 1st choice, accepted at 2nd choice. We made the deposit and started working on loving the 2nd choice. Didn’t get a WL offer; no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC was WL at 1st choice, accepted at 2nd choice. We made the deposit and started working on loving the 2nd choice. Didn’t get a WL offer; no regrets.

+1.

That was us last year. 12 months later, we wouldn’t change a thing.

[Anonymous]

I think some previous posts make sense. Especially for prek and k, the schools pick families matching their culture instead of the kids' academic profiles. The school that accepted your DC might be a better fit for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your inputs! Now I really don't know if we should write to our top choice to show our continued interest (I heard this sometimes helps) or just stay on the wl quietly...

OP, you should definitely write to your top choice school, but don’t make it bland and business-like.

Write to the school and tell them everything you loved about it — include specific details that show how well you came to know the school — and why you believe your child would thrive and contribute to that school’s community. Make it a heartfelt letter that sings. Put thoughtful effort into it. If you’re a terrible writer, work with someone who is great at it.

At this point, it’s the only thing that will make you stand out beyond th facts you can’t control. Admissions people are human. Like any of us, they can be swayed by genuine appreciation for their school and a strong, clear desire to attend.

Blech. OP, just be yourself in the letter, not who this person tells you you should be.

This is about your child and their fit into an incoming class. There is nothing a glowing suck up letter can change. Let the school know you are interested in remaining on the WL, then move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your inputs! Now I really don't know if we should write to our top choice to show our continued interest (I heard this sometimes helps) or just stay on the wl quietly...

OP, you should definitely write to your top choice school, but don’t make it bland and business-like.

Write to the school and tell them everything you loved about it — include specific details that show how well you came to know the school — and why you believe your child would thrive and contribute to that school’s community. Make it a heartfelt letter that sings. Put thoughtful effort into it. If you’re a terrible writer, work with someone who is great at it.

At this point, it’s the only thing that will make you stand out beyond th facts you can’t control. Admissions people are human. Like any of us, they can be swayed by genuine appreciation for their school and a strong, clear desire to attend.

Blech. OP, just be yourself in the letter, not who this person tells you you should be.

This is about your child and their fit into an incoming class. There is nothing a glowing suck up letter can change. Let the school know you are interested in remaining on the WL, then move on.

Good advice! We are not connected to any of the schools that we applied to and honestly don't see many differences between the "big 3-10." We feel that we said everything in our parent questionnaires. We will just go with one that accepted DC and wait quietly for those put us in their wls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your inputs! Now I really don't know if we should write to our top choice to show our continued interest (I heard this sometimes helps) or just stay on the wl quietly...

OP, you should definitely write to your top choice school, but don’t make it bland and business-like.

Write to the school and tell them everything you loved about it — include specific details that show how well you came to know the school — and why you believe your child would thrive and contribute to that school’s community. Make it a heartfelt letter that sings. Put thoughtful effort into it. If you’re a terrible writer, work with someone who is great at it.

At this point, it’s the only thing that will make you stand out beyond th facts you can’t control. Admissions people are human. Like any of us, they can be swayed by genuine appreciation for their school and a strong, clear desire to attend.

Blech. OP, just be yourself in the letter, not who this person tells you you should be.

This is about your child and their fit into an incoming class. There is nothing a glowing suck up letter can change. Let the school know you are interested in remaining on the WL, then move on.

Yes, and there’s nothing she can do to change what her child’s profile is, but she can put a positive flag on her child’s application. There will be many people writing in to say that the school is their first choice. What do you want to be? Another piece of paperwork or someone who seems like a real person?

Though they try to keep it real, the application process is mindnumbingly full of paperwork for admissions office staff. By the end of the process, almost everyone is just a piece of paper.

There’s a difference between a suck up letter and one that is sincere and heartfelt. I’m sure you have no idea of the difference.

As someone whose child was admitted to a Big 3 off a waitlist after writing such a letter, forgive me if I disagree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your inputs! Now I really don't know if we should write to our top choice to show our continued interest (I heard this sometimes helps) or just stay on the wl quietly...

OP, you should definitely write to your top choice school, but don’t make it bland and business-like.

Write to the school and tell them everything you loved about it — include specific details that show how well you came to know the school — and why you believe your child would thrive and contribute to that school’s community. Make it a heartfelt letter that sings. Put thoughtful effort into it. If you’re a terrible writer, work with someone who is great at it.

At this point, it’s the only thing that will make you stand out beyond th facts you can’t control. Admissions people are human. Like any of us, they can be swayed by genuine appreciation for their school and a strong, clear desire to attend.

Blech. OP, just be yourself in the letter, not who this person tells you you should be.

This is about your child and their fit into an incoming class. There is nothing a glowing suck up letter can change. Let the school know you are interested in remaining on the WL, then move on.

Good advice! We are not connected to any of the schools that we applied to and honestly don't see many differences between the "big 3-10." We feel that we said everything in our parent questionnaires. We will just go with one that accepted DC and wait quietly for those put us in their wls.

If you don’t see any differences between the big 3-10 (which is not a thing, BTW), you deserve the school you got. Looks like you didn’t do much research. Go quietly into the night, my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was us. We attended the accepted student events at the other schools, and DC let the WL school know it was first choice.

Then we told DC to assume the WL was a no, make a choice between the other four options (one of which was the neighborhood public - we always included that in the mix), and if anything changed, we'd revisit the decision. DC requested another shadow day at one of the schools, and that sealed the deal. We sent decline notices to the other accepted schools, paid the deposit on time, and waited to hear from the WL school until the last day when the contract was due. We didn't hear and so sent in the contract (on the final day). DC is very happy, and is clearly in the right place.

Never got off the WL, btw, though we heard that someone else did.

Congratulations on having choices.

OP here. Thank you all for your inputs! Now I really don't know if we should write to our top choice to show our continued interest (I heard this sometimes helps) or just stay on the wl quietly...

If the wl school is definitely your first choice, absolutely let them know. Depending on the grade, definitely you should send an email, but if it’s for high school I’d also have your child send a note. Make it specific to the school as far as why it’s the first choice. If the child has had any recent accomplishments that are interesting, mention those in a low key/non-braggy way.

[Anonymous]

It depends on which school you prefer. DD was accepted at our first choice, so we will decline the WL at the second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call the AD and simply ask:

Is DC's position on the WL high enough that they may be made an offer of Admission by deposit deadline ( March ? 21st )

If the AD hedges at all..... that is a NO and go with the school that wants your child and don't look back

Once you are inside many schools are different that your first impression . The ADs have been doing this for decades most of them.

You are on your 1st rodeo, likely

If they REALLY wanted your DC or want them on high WL they would have admitted your DC or high WL them

Very helpful! Should I avoid mentioning the other school's offer when talking to the top choice's AD? Thank you!

AD's do talk to each other so this is a reasonable question to ask.

What you DON'T want to do is make the AD of the school that accepted your child ( your 2nd choice school ) aware that they are, just that: 2nd choice

Especially because if your DC ends up going there you don't want to 1) have to live that down and 2) you may be surprised to find choice # 2 was actually the better school for your child in the end

I would just stick to the wording:

" insert name of school" is our absolute 1st choice of school for our DC and we want to make clear that if a position becomes available just before deposit deadline, our family will accept and pay full tuition at that time" " However, if you know this is unlikely at this time, we wish to commit to the school that has offered a position as it is our family's position that we want to fully commit to a school by ( deposit date in March)

In other words: present yourself as the OPPOSITE as a bet hedger . You know, the kind of parent that is ruining the whole process for everyone by paying deposits at 2 schools then backing out on May 31st, etc.

Present yourselves as a family who will commit fully at March deadline and if you don't get an offer of admission by the AM of day before , then sign that contract at 2nd choice school and don't look back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your inputs! Now I really don't know if we should write to our top choice to show our continued interest (I heard this sometimes helps) or just stay on the wl quietly...

OP, you should definitely write to your top choice school, but don’t make it bland and business-like.

Write to the school and tell them everything you loved about it — include specific details that show how well you came to know the school — and why you believe your child would thrive and contribute to that school’s community. Make it a heartfelt letter that sings. Put thoughtful effort into it. If you’re a terrible writer, work with someone who is great at it.

At this point, it’s the only thing that will make you stand out beyond th facts you can’t control. Admissions people are human. Like any of us, they can be swayed by genuine appreciation for their school and a strong, clear desire to attend.

Blech. OP, just be yourself in the letter, not who this person tells you you should be.

This is about your child and their fit into an incoming class. There is nothing a glowing suck up letter can change. Let the school know you are interested in remaining on the WL, then move on.

Yes, and there’s nothing she can do to change what her child’s profile is, but she can put a positive flag on her child’s application. There will be many people writing in to say that the school is their first choice. What do you want to be? Another piece of paperwork or someone who seems like a real person?

Though they try to keep it real, the application process is mindnumbingly full of paperwork for admissions office staff. By the end of the process, almost everyone is just a piece of paper.

There’s a difference between a suck up letter and one that is sincere and heartfelt. I’m sure you have no idea of the difference.

As someone whose child was admitted to a Big 3 off a waitlist after writing such a letter, forgive me if I disagree with you.

I strongly disagree with the above on two points:

1) In Pre-K up through early MS it is NOT about " fit " LOL Though that is the mantra. It is about YOU ( parents ).

Meaning: SES, professions ( hooks ) , legacy status at HYP or the Big 3 school that you are applying to , etc...

In fact, unless you went on an Open House tour only, you had better believe that before your scheduled parent tour, it was someone in the Admissions Department to do the full wallet, social profile biopsy on you and even DC's GP's . They have computer software that tells them everything: not just your career history, but how many boards you or GP"s are on, your history of Philanthropic giving, what Ivies you are a Legacy at. You know, like when you apply to join a country club. same same

Honestly, it is NOT about your snowflake or their WIPPSI . LOL

So, Yes, write that 1st choice letter and be on your best behavior and don't be too pushy.

If you get the silent treatment, its because they made their list and you are not on it.

If you get a call to thank you for your 1st choice letter then just behave and hang in there until just before March deadline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call the AD and simply ask:

Is DC's position on the WL high enough that they may be made an offer of Admission by deposit deadline ( March ? 21st )

If the AD hedges at all..... that is a NO and go with the school that wants your child and don't look back

Once you are inside many schools are different that your first impression . The ADs have been doing this for decades most of them.

You are on your 1st rodeo, likely

If they REALLY wanted your DC or want them on high WL they would have admitted your DC or high WL them

Very helpful! Should I avoid mentioning the other school's offer when talking to the top choice's AD? Thank you!

AD's do talk to each other so this is a reasonable question to ask.

What you DON'T want to do is make the AD of the school that accepted your child ( your 2nd choice school ) aware that they are, just that: 2nd choice

Especially because if your DC ends up going there you don't want to 1) have to live that down and 2) you may be surprised to find choice # 2 was actually the better school for your child in the end

I would just stick to the wording:

" insert name of school" is our absolute 1st choice of school for our DC and we want to make clear that if a position becomes available just before deposit deadline, our family will accept and pay full tuition at that time" " However, if you know this is unlikely at this time, we wish to commit to the school that has offered a position as it is our family's position that we want to fully commit to a school by ( deposit date in March)

In other words: present yourself as the OPPOSITE as a bet hedger . You know, the kind of parent that is ruining the whole process for everyone by paying deposits at 2 schools then backing out on May 31st, etc.

Present yourselves as a family who will commit fully at March deadline and if you don't get an offer of admission by the AM of day before , then sign that contract at 2nd choice school and don't look back

^^^^^

This is a moron.

No one offers to pay full tuition in March. It sounds like you’re trying to bring a suitcase full of cash to the table. Are you from another culture? Do you know this is likely to raise hackles? Someone seriously does not understand the culture of private schools. Genteel. No talk of money.

Positions on the WL do not open before the deposit deadline.

If you want a real shot at the WL, you need to be willing to lose the deposit on school that accepted you. We were at the top of the WL, offered admission by first choice school the day after the deposit deadline. We lost our deposit, but DC has been so happy at our first choice school we have no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[
Yes, and there’s nothing she can do to change what her child’s profile is, but she can put a positive flag on her child’s application. There will be many people writing in to say that the school is their first choice. What do you want to be? Another piece of paperwork or someone who seems like a real person?

Though they try to keep it real, the application process is mindnumbingly full of paperwork for admissions office staff. By the end of the process, almost everyone is just a piece of paper.

There’s a difference between a suck up letter and one that is sincere and heartfelt. I’m sure you have no idea of the difference.

As someone whose child was admitted to a Big 3 off a waitlist after writing such a letter, forgive me if I disagree with you.

I strongly disagree with the above on two points:

1) In Pre-K up through early MS it is NOT about " fit " LOL Though that is the mantra. It is about YOU ( parents ).

Meaning: SES, professions ( hooks ) , legacy status at HYP or the Big 3 school that you are applying to , etc...

In fact, unless you went on an Open House tour only, you had better believe that before your scheduled parent tour, it was someone in the Admissions Department to do the full wallet, social profile biopsy on you and even DC's GP's . They have computer software that tells them everything: not just your career history, but how many boards you or GP"s are on, your history of Philanthropic giving, what Ivies you are a Legacy at. You know, like when you apply to join a country club. same same

Honestly, it is NOT about your snowflake or their WIPPSI . LOL

So, Yes, write that 1st choice letter and be on your best behavior and don't be too pushy.

If you get the silent treatment, its because they made their list and you are not on it.

If you get a call to thank you for your 1st choice letter then just behave and hang in there until just before March deadline.

You’re pathetic. No, this is not how it works. I think you need to go looking for that tin hat.

It’s true for preK and K, parents are a big part of the equation. By 3rd/4th grade, the kids themselves matter much more.

[Anonymous]

I sent a follow-up note expressing continued interest for DS at his top choice school. The Admissions Director responded the next day thanking me for the note and said that DS will definitely stay on the list as the process unfolds.

Just a courtesy or should I have hope?

[Anonymous]

I wrote a heartfelt note to Beauvoir after DD got WLed for PK. Didn’t work.