If you were a girl on the older side of your class...

[Anonymous]

Look beyond kindergarten and elementary school.

Think about being 18/19 as a senior in high school and having to wait and wait to move on with your life. Being stuck in kid-land when you’re ready to move on is a recipe for problems.

[Anonymous]

OMG, it's being a few months/1 year older than your peers. We never noticed or cared. This only became "a thing" fairly recently.

With our parents, if you had a kid who was ready, you sent them. If they weren't ready, you sent them the next year.

It is not that big of a deal, really!

[Anonymous]

I had to repeat a grade as a result of going from a mediocre public school in upstate New York to a high performing private school in Chicago. Of course I was older when it happened, 6th grade. At the time it was devastating to me and I didn't understand why I had to repeat. Once I got to the school I understood why my parents did it. I was going to school with kids who had been taking German or French since 3rd grade and already had experience with lab sciences. I got over it and had a great school experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, it's being a few months/1 year older than your peers. We never noticed or cared. This only became "a thing" fairly recently.

With our parents, if you had a kid who was ready, you sent them. If they weren't ready, you sent them the next year.

It is not that big of a deal, really!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was on the older side. My mother purposefully delayed my entry to school because she had been on the younger side and hated it.

I hated it. No, it did not give me leadership skills. Yes, I physically matured before the other girls and it was awful. I did not like always being the oldest and found school boring and was not given enough challenges and opportunities to fail and build resilience. I would not purposefully do the same to my children, although they just missed the cutoff date so I don't really have a choice.

+1. And I grew up with a school with anend of December cut off. So I was 6 and a little over a month old when I started with k classmates who didn’t turn 5 until the last day of December. Hated it.

I was a leader, but I don’t think that is a result of my age, but my personality. When I got my period in 5th grade, there weren’t even sanitary product disposals in the restrooms. Kids mercilessly snapped my bras. I was talk because I was older but stopped growing at 12, so I was gangly and awkward for a long time before others shot up.

I was completely over high school midway through and was climbing the walls waiting for it to be over. I was generally compliant kid, but...I sought out older friends that I made at work, particularly when I was 18, which I turned before even entering senior year, and was running around with 20 year olds which was not a genius idea looking back.

So you were born in July-August and redshirted with a Dec 31st cutoff. That is 5+ months before the cutoff. That is the equivalent of redshirting an April birthday with a Sept.1st cut off, right? In my DD’s case (born a few days before the cutoff) she will have plenty of friends only a month or two younger than her and probably other redshirted kids. April’a Birthdays are almost middle of the pack... hardly the youngest

[Anonymous]

Yes, maybe Jim made partner because he was the oldest in HIS class, and got 3rd at the track meet and won the spelling bee.

Poor, maligned John. HIS parents played by the rules and sent him on time. And he got 4th at the track meet and was the 1993 spelling be runner-up!

[Anonymous]

Our August birthday DD was one of the younger girls in her MCPS elementary. She did fine, but was one of those kids who's "a pleasure to teach" -- in other words, the teachers had no clue who she was and she never said a word in class. When she moved to an independent school, we had her repeat 5th because we thought she'd be better off as one of the older girls (though not the oldest). She's a HS senior now and we have no regrets. She's blossomed as a student and a leader. She's responsible, disciplined and has a great group of friends. BTW, she's among the tallest girls in her grade and that's not a problem for her either.

[Anonymous]

I was the youngest in my class (my b-day was the day before the cut-off) and was always a leader - student council, sports, a great group of friends, and had strong academics to boot.

That said - send your kid according to cut off. There's a cut off for a reason!

[Anonymous]

I was on the young end for my grade - August birthday with a September cutoff. I was also gifted, and grew up in a smaller, not well off school district where the “gifted” solution was some combination of more worksheets, skipping a grade, and one half-day a week at a special “gifted class” at another school for grades 3-5 only. My parents sent me on time, and I don’t blame them, because I was independently working on stuff that was way ahead of my peers (I don’t even say that to brag, but to give context - my parents are working-class too. At that point no one on either side of my family had ever graduated from college so they probably thought I was from another planet). But I could have benefited from another year in pre-K. I had a hard time keeping up socially and had few friends. I was also really immature. I was interested in medical textbooks and foreign languages, but couldn’t advocate for myself to do should-be easy stuff like ask the teachers to go to the bathroom outside of bathroom break times. Or say that I wasn’t feeling well and needed to go to the nurse’s office. It was a pretty tough time and eventually I feel like my opinion on school and learning was soured.

[Anonymous]

I was older, hated it. I spent a few years way taller than others. I hated explaining that I was a full year older.

Also, an extra year has never made an unathletic kid into an athlete, or a shy kid into a leader. Your kid is the same person, just older, so the "shortcomings" if any are just more obvious to them . Bad for self esteem in my case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was on the older side. My mother purposefully delayed my entry to school because she had been on the younger side and hated it.

I hated it. No, it did not give me leadership skills. Yes, I physically matured before the other girls and it was awful. I did not like always being the oldest and found school boring and was not given enough challenges and opportunities to fail and build resilience. I would not purposefully do the same to my children, although they just missed the cutoff date so I don't really have a choice.

I was also the oldest and blame my mother for it.
I did not like it
It was hard being in school a year longer.
My kids both have summer, spring birthdays so it was not an isst.
My mom is controlling so I did not develop any leadership skills

[Anonymous]

I was one of, if not the oldest in my class, and I'll echo the others who say it's NOT A BIG DEAL! I didn't know any better, I knew I was older than some kids who were a grade ahead of me and I didn't care. Stop making this a "thing" and it won't be a thing, your kid will never know the difference.

It did help in college to be 18 already and get into the "18 to party, 21 to drink" clubs! My roommate and other girls on my floor were only 17 so they couldn't go

[Anonymous]

There will always be something that isn't 100% perfect. You can micro manage this.

Is your daughter ready for kindergarten? If so, send her. If she could use another year, wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the oldest and I hated it. I felt too tall and developed before everyone else. I would have rather been the youngest.

I was the youngest, and by 11, also the tallest and first to get her period, wear a bra, etc.

My DD8 is the youngest, and funny anecdote, she and the oldest girl in her class are the two the teacher put in charge to “lead” the class when she needs to step out of the room to a neighboring class.

Another who believes it’s personality and not birth month.

[Anonymous]

I was born exactly on the cutoff day, so my parents held me back and I was one of (but not the) oldest. I was also almost always the shortest and frequently looked younger than I was. I can't imagine how out of place I would have looked/felt had I been with the class a year ahead of me. I'm thrilled my parents didn't send me on time.

I was definitely a leader in the class, and did well in school, but my very best friend - who generally was smarter than me and did all the same activities/leadership things I did - was the second to youngest in the class.

You can't control everything, OP, so don't over think it. If there's a reason to hold your kid back, do it. Otherwise, send her on time.