My Husban Makes Money Disapear

[Anonymous]

I think the idea that he is planning a gift is naive, she "controls" the bank acount statement just like the credit card statement. OP I would hire a PI and find out what is going on. I also think that you should "lose" your debit card and cancel that card with the bank. Wonder how long it will take for him to call you when his withdrawl doesn't go through. Almost $7K in 2 months is a LOT of cash by anyone's standards.

[Anonymous]

If DH were making larger withdrawals every month, say in the $5k to $10k range, the bank might also start investigating him. Spitzer was initially investigated b/c he was withdrawing a lot of money every month for his call girls escapes. Then again, he is a public figure and DH not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize there is a great range of incomes on this board, but in what universe is $3000 in cash for one member of the household even remotely normal? did the husabnd think no one was going to notice? OP please give an update, this is very interesting!

What's weird about it, irrespective of income level, is that he's taking the money out of the ATM, so there is no way to account for it. That's what's weird. It's much easier (and more common) to pay for things with a debit card, credit card, or a check. Not to walk around with 3K in cash, paying for things that cannot be accounted for.\

I would kick my husband to the curb if he did that. It would tell me that something horrible was going on, and I wouldn't even want to speculate as to what it was. And I doubt a conversation is going to help, given that he obviously wants to keep something secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I DO NOT condone snooping but maybe check his phone for odd numbers or text messages.

How is that not snooping?

It is snooping, but with reason.

I don't condone it just to be nosey, but something is wrong here.

[Anonymous]

You just described my DH 5 years ago- except he was the one making the money. Turned out he was a high-functioning coke addict. I honestly had no idea. Sorry OP, but there is no way there is an innocent explaination for your husband's cash withdrawals. I wish you the best in getting to the bottom of this & working through it, whatever that ends up being.

[Anonymous]

Both my husband and I work and if he were spending half that much out of our joint account I would hire a PI to find out where it was all going and then I would clean it out and close it down. Something is up.

[Anonymous]

$3K is a lot of damn money to go through in a month. That is my gross monthly income.

Is it possible he is saving up to buy something...maybe for you? Doesn't have an income but wants to buy you a gift for x-mas or something?

Is it possible he is bi-polar? My father is bipolar. He has reckless spending habits for a couple of months, well..before he was medicated. He once spent $40K on lots of computer parts over the course of 2 months. He had a grandios plan to make money that never materialized.

[Anonymous]

When the head of the man does not work. use your own.

[Anonymous]

$3000 a month in cash? That's a lot of cash with nothing to show for it. You must confront him on it - with the kids in school he has lots of free time. Hope you get some answers.

[Anonymous]

what's your daily ATM withdrawal limit? you could be passive-aggressive and set it really low. Mine's set at $100. it's a pain if I need more cash than that at once (which has happened only 2-3 times ever), but it would make it less convenient to take out large sums. Now if he's hitting that $3000 by taking out $100 every day... eek.

gotta be honest, i'm with the other posters - this isn't gonna be good. he's either paying off a girlfriend or babymama, paying gambling debts, has a drug problem or some other overspending problem or he's started another bank account with the money. (and let's face it, he's not even being subtle. you can't miss $3000/month - he's begging to get caught at this point.) The best case scenario is that he wrecked someone's car while driving it and is paying them outside of insurance, but that raises all sorts of questions too. Good luck, ok?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry to be catty at Christmas, but I am so curious how this turned out...
Anyone know?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious too. I hope OP got to the bottom of this.

[Anonymous]

Hope OP got something good like a surprise vacation or gift and not something like finding out DH is an addict or gambler.

[Anonymous]

Really in need of a follow up on this one!

[Anonymous]

Do you buy everything in cash? Although we pay off our credit cards every month, we charge everything so each month we know exactly where our money is going. I find it questionable why he has to go to an ATM to get cash.