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My Husban Makes Money Disapear
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Anonymous
Yep, something fishy here. Divorce looming? Socking away cash for lawyer? |
Anonymous
| I realize there is a great range of incomes on this board, but in what universe is $3000 in cash for one member of the household even remotely normal? did the husabnd think no one was going to notice? OP please give an update, this is very interesting! |
Anonymous
| i was thinking gambling or drugs also. i'm sorry, but there is something really wrong if you don't know where 3k has gone over the course of a month. |
Anonymous
|
OP, there could be many, many things he is doing with that money. In my view, and given his secrecy, none of it can be good. You need to take/cancel that card, get an accounting of what he's been spending it on, and set up some guidelines for going forward. $3K is a lot of money to just disappear in a single month, twice in a row.
Not knowing the state of your marriage (and not asking for it), could he be setting up new accounts in his name in preparation for some sort of separation? (A question for you to answer yourself, obviously). He could just be a spendthrift but that does not seem likely to me. |
Anonymous
| I don't think that presuming suspicious activity is productive. If you treat this as a budgeting issue and find a way to track the money, you can sort it out without jumping to conclusions. You would hate to find out that he is trying to surprise you with a big vacation on your anniversary, right after you accuse him of saving for a divorce or a drug habit. |
Anonymous
| I know a couple where he was a SAHD, turns out he developed a huge coke habit - even bringing the baby with him to buy it. Wife had no clue. Very heartbreaking. Fortunately his friends staged an intervention and things seem better. OP, I really hope this is not the case for you but I would definitely be suspicious. |
Anonymous
| Hi Pollyanna is that you? |
Anonymous
he wouldn't be withdrawing cash from an account to plan a vacation |
Anonymous
|
OP, I am a SAHM with a high household income. My DH and I are both fairly free-spending, especially him. He spends maybe $1000 in cash a month (which I thought was a huge amount) and I spend maybe half that. $3000 is a lot of money - I would personally hire a PI to follow him. I am betting he has some kind of addiction (sex/drugs).
Good luck. And please check back with us. |
Anonymous
If he doesn't tell you where the money is going, hire a PI. |
Anonymous
|
OP, can you call the bank and ask what locations and times the money was taken out. Perhaps you can see what area/city/neighborhood the cash is being taken out from. They know what the atm ID numbers are. Perhaps then you can see if it's at the mall, a hotel, a seedy neighborhood.
I DO NOT condone snooping but maybe check his phone for odd numbers or text messages. $3200 a month is $800 a week. That is a HUGE amount to spend if you are also seeing groceries/eating out on a credit card. |
Anonymous
| Strippers + "Massages" + Restaurants. That's my guess. |
Anonymous
|
I would worry if it was coupled by a personality change -- but if there's not personality change I would wonder about a vacation or sizable gift. If it were my husband, I would say I think $3k is excessive and not sustainable but if there is something I should be looking forward to - I won't harp on it.
We have had the discussion around cash withdrawls -- no where near that amount - but I start asking questions around $400/month. Typically it's office stuff (birthdays, lunchest, etc) |
Anonymous
How is that not snooping? |
Anonymous
If he wanted to make it a surprise and she controls all the accounts, then I don't see how he can do it with credit cards or checks. |