mom question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents who are in their 60's are staying over, everything is going okay. I need to ask something about my mom though. If in a conversation, I mention anything....ANYTHING!!! She will come back with something related in her own life or her friend's lives. Is this normal?

Ex: Me: (Just trying to make some conversation) Mom, look at this new blender I bought! You can make smoothies and add some fresh tasting fruits.
Mom: My friends have something called an airfryer. Do you have an airfryer? No? Haha Oh all my friends have them so I thought everyone had one.

Basically anything I talk about she is in comparison with it or bringing up her equivalent of whatever the things is. Is this normal?

So, she should be interested in your blender, but not her friends' airfryer? I'd wager that your 60+ year old mother has owned a lot of blenders. The air fryer is a newer thing and seems more interesting. At least she is still on-topic with kitchen gadgetry.

New poster - it’s not about the blender. It’s that the mom can’t talk about OP at all. The proper response is -
Do you like the new blender? Is it easy to clean? What do you make in it? Then - have you heard about air dryers? To which OP responds “no, do you have one? Do you like it?”
It’s a give and take. My Mom and MIL do this and it’s super annoying. It’s all about them, their neighbor, their friend, their dental hygienist’s dog walker’s niece.

This. it’s not about any appliances. its about the daughter being invisible and insignificant to the mother. “you are not worthy of my attention” is the message such mothers send.

[Anonymous]

My mom interrupted me my entire life. It infuriated me. But I loved her and wasn’t going to change her after 75 years.
She died 12 months ago and I’d give anything to be “interrupted” by her again.
Just try to be patient. I know it’s hard sometimes.

[Anonymous]

That’s annoying. But one Day, not too long in the future, you’ll drive your kids nuts too. And then you’ll wonder why- after all these long, hard years of raising them- they give you the cold shoulder after a small conversation over a blender.

[Anonymous]

I hope you have better examples than the blender one. The person who said the appropriate response was to ask if the blender was easy to clean and if you liked it blah blah blah. Oh my God it's a boring conversation I don't want to talk about a blender. I've had a blender for 30 years.

I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s annoying. But one Day, not too long in the future, you’ll drive your kids nuts too. And then you’ll wonder why- after all these long, hard years of raising them- they give you the cold shoulder after a small conversation over a blender.

FFS, that’s not why OP is upset. She’s upset her mother cannot have any conversation without making it about her. It’s that after YEARS of this behavior, she’s exhausted by it. And for once, she just wishes her mother would listen to her and act like she matters.

And for all those people claiming “oh this wouldn’t bother me at all because I’m just so grateful everyone is alive,” I highly doubt you come to DCUrbanmom to share your equanimity with the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s annoying but it’s a common way for women to relate to each other conversationally. I find it got worse with my mom once she retired, but she also still tells me stories about things that happened at work 7+ years ago. My MIL is the worst with this and I blame the fact that she was a SAHM and all her kids have been out of the house for 12 years now. She doesn’t read books and doesn’t have hobbies so she doesn’t have much to talk about. But she also can’t stand to be alone or have silence so she will follow me around to house and just keep up a constant monologue about her neighbor’s new drapes or whatever.

PP, my mom is like this too. I also think it has to do with being a housewife - not enough practice socializing with others.

My MIL was a corporate vice-president and does this, too. I think these people are self-centered, period.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if you started a conversation about a blender, I’d think you were pretty boring and would change the subject asap.