A Dark Consensus About Screens and Kids Begins to Emerge in Silicon Valley

[Anonymous]

I am not in tech, but DH is and has loved computers (not just games, but coding) since he was a kid. We do place limits for our 2 year old (TV shows really only on trips or when she’s sick; otherwise it’s at most 10 min/day of videos of herself or nursery rhymes on YouTube). However, we have yet to see research that suggests it’s as harmful as people seem to think, especially if kids are also doing all sorts of other things. DH and I both spent hours playing video games and watching movies as kids (sometimes 5-6 hours a day) and we both have successful professional careers. We also did plenty of other things as kids, including free play outside.

I guess I would just say that, I think critical thinking is needed to figure out the right way to use this powerful tool, especially in school. Neither paranoia nor blind use of it is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

It's like crack for kids, exactly. I'm interested to see what studies generations from now will come up with about how this group of kids grew up stoned on screens.

[Anonymous]

Giving kids screens is easy so it must be bad. This explains about 90% of parenting rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Giving kids screens is easy so it must be bad. This explains about 90% of parenting rules.

The easiest short term solution is often the most damaging in the long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's like crack for kids, exactly. I'm interested to see what studies generations from now will come up with about how this group of kids grew up stoned on screens.

I place limits on my kid's screen time, but come on. People were saying the exact same thing when TV first came out. "It'll rot your brain!" Is it a good idea to be on screens for hours upon hours a day? No. But to act like it's this horrible evil thing is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's like crack for kids, exactly. I'm interested to see what studies generations from now will come up with about how this group of kids grew up stoned on screens.

I place limits on my kid's screen time, but come on. People were saying the exact same thing when TV first came out. "It'll rot your brain!" Is it a good idea to be on screens for hours upon hours a day? No. But to act like it's this horrible evil thing is ridiculous.

I love television, but I feel like tablets and smart phones are very different. They do in fact engage with your brain in a different way. We don't place a lot of limits on TV, but we do strictly limit personal screens. I don't mind our children watching television, but we have one family television and they have to agree on the show. There is a big difference between focusing on one show and having unlimited stimulation at your fingertips on a tablet or a phone. This is to say nothing of the dangers of social media on young people (anxiety, competition, and strangers). I think of social media like alcohol -- as an adult, I know how to manage and moderate it, but it's still tricky for many adults and the later you start on it, the better for your emotional well-being.

[Anonymous]

I think not enough people on this thread have read the Times article, which was ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's like crack for kids, exactly. I'm interested to see what studies generations from now will come up with about how this group of kids grew up stoned on screens.

I place limits on my kid's screen time, but come on. People were saying the exact same thing when TV first came out. "It'll rot your brain!" Is it a good idea to be on screens for hours upon hours a day? No. But to act like it's this horrible evil thing is ridiculous.

I love television, but I feel like tablets and smart phones are very different. They do in fact engage with your brain in a different way. We don't place a lot of limits on TV, but we do strictly limit personal screens. I don't mind our children watching television, but we have one family television and they have to agree on the show. There is a big difference between focusing on one show and having unlimited stimulation at your fingertips on a tablet or a phone. This is to say nothing of the dangers of social media on young people (anxiety, competition, and strangers). I think of social media like alcohol -- as an adult, I know how to manage and moderate it, but it's still tricky for many adults and the later you start on it, the better for your emotional well-being.

+1

iPads and iPhones are very addictive. Much more so than TV or computers.

I have one kid who would literally spend all day staring at a little screen playing some dumb games over and over. The minute she gets off the iPad (even for a short time) she is a total mess and can't deal with reality.

So we only use iPads for traveling (videos, audio books, limited games).

Computers only for homework use.

Limited TV time around dinner time (once homework is done and not too close to bedtime).

We used to be much more lax about screens but kids were so MUCH crankier. Life is much calmer and happier now. 100% due to less screens.

-IT person who grew up with TV and computers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giving kids screens is easy so it must be bad. This explains about 90% of parenting rules.

The easiest short term solution is often the most damaging in the long term.

there is no evidence of this rule; it's just a puritan belief that everything that is easy or feels good must be bad for you.

[Anonymous]

I do think there will be a big difference between kids whose parents didn't allow screens vs poor parents who relied on screens.

From 2 years old onwards we only allowed nature shows on a normal weekend. Our exceptions were long roadtrips, planes and when they were extremely sick they could get other shows. They use 10x more creativity and thinking skills once you get them away from the TV and back into the play room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giving kids screens is easy so it must be bad. This explains about 90% of parenting rules.

The easiest short term solution is often the most damaging in the long term.

there is no evidence of this rule; it's just a puritan belief that everything that is easy or feels good must be bad for you.

Too much screen time is bad for brains, eyes, and bodies.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-wealth/201402/gray-matters-too-much-screen-time-damages-the-brain
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/screen-time-hurts-more-than-kids-eyes-101215#4
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5769928/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Giving kids screens is easy so it must be bad. This explains about 90% of parenting rules.

The easiest short term solution is often the most damaging in the long term.

there is no evidence of this rule; it's just a puritan belief that everything that is easy or feels good must be bad for you.

It's not a rule. It's just good judgment and common sense. I'm not sure how a good parent could disagree that oftentimes what a child wants immediately is not good for them in the long term.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, its always something. Every generation of parents finds one thing that they are sure is going to be the ruin of their children. Don't overthink it. Moderation in everything. They'll be fine. I promise most of you will look back and wonder why on earth you spent so much energy on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, its always something. Every generation of parents finds one thing that they are sure is going to be the ruin of their children. Don't overthink it. Moderation in everything. They'll be fine. I promise most of you will look back and wonder why on earth you spent so much energy on this.

In general I agree. About this, however, I actually think we underestimate the danger.

[Anonymous]

Why are you surprised or concerned, OP?
Surely you knew this all before.
Model healthy tech behavior for your kids.

My teen and tween don't use screens without my permission, and screens certainly doesn't leave the living/dining room. My teen will shortly receive a phone. He will be responsible with it, because I won't allow anything else, and again, it will never go upstairs.

Parents who have problems with their children's screentime have to realize that it's a global discipline issue. They've been probably too lax elsewhere as well.