A Dark Consensus About Screens and Kids Begins to Emerge in Silicon Valley

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The trouble for us started when our private school announced each child going forward would have their own iPad - from grade 2. It was awful. We had to change schools after a few years because the kids wouldn't want to do anything else after school. It was like detox every night.

My sister's kids - who go to public schools in Cupertino - definitely have very little computer time at school and homework is still done by hand. In high school, essays and what not are typed but all other subjects are handwritten. Not sure what the rush is to make kids "tech literate" when Bill Gates and Steve Jobs didn't have the internet in school.

Agree!
I think we here all remember a life without tech. And then at age X in 1994 (I was 10), we got a little bit of it with the first “multimedia” computers, then spent some years building up with AOL, email, coding, etc.

We are all technically savvy. People who wanted to specialize in that did so and followed those careers.

Now we have a bunch of teens who all, uniquely ( ), want to get into video game design. I think if they put in the hard work without screen addiction, they’d see all the opportunities outside of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep. I work at a tech company and our kids have VERY little tv or screens. None at all before 2. Maybe one baby animal video a week going forward.

Now at 7 and almost 6, they still get very little screen time. Sometimes a movie on a long flight, or a tv show when they're sick (generally a cooking show or something like XFactor).

Having worked in IT and a spouse still in it, I find that IT parents in my circles limit screens more and value developing critical thinking outside of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several generations have grown up watching TV and playing video games. Is it really so different? Sure, I would prefer my kids do activities that don’t involve screens most of the time. But they have also learned a lot from watching shows about history, nature, etc.

I think there are a lot of differences between tv and games from years ago vs those of today.

When I was a kid, the tv programs I liked came on once a week for 30 minutes (20, if you don’t count commercials). Today, you can watch multiple episodes in a row for hours upon hours. Binge watching is the norm now, but it was unheard of when I was a kid. Plus the picture quality was terrible and the screens were smaller so it wasn’t as addicting. Tv shows have also changed- compare the slow pace of mister Rogers to the shows of today, with all the colors, flashes, action, and scene changes.

Same with video games. I only had a couple, and they were pretty simple and slow paced. They could hold my attention for 20-30 minutes, maybe an hour on a rainy day. Today there are hundreds of games available that are designed to be addicting by going at a fast pace, having a lot of noises and colors, hundreds of levels, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several generations have grown up watching TV and playing video games. Is it really so different? Sure, I would prefer my kids do activities that don’t involve screens most of the time. But they have also learned a lot from watching shows about history, nature, etc.

I think there are a lot of differences between tv and games from years ago vs those of today.

When I was a kid, the tv programs I liked came on once a week for 30 minutes (20, if you don’t count commercials). Today, you can watch multiple episodes in a row for hours upon hours. Binge watching is the norm now, but it was unheard of when I was a kid. Plus the picture quality was terrible and the screens were smaller so it wasn’t as addicting. Tv shows have also changed- compare the slow pace of mister Rogers to the shows of today, with all the colors, flashes, action, and scene changes.

Same with video games. I only had a couple, and they were pretty simple and slow paced. They could hold my attention for 20-30 minutes, maybe an hour on a rainy day. Today there are hundreds of games available that are designed to be addicting by going at a fast pace, having a lot of noises and colors, hundreds of levels, etc.

My experience was totally different. Space Invaders could hold my attention for hours, as could Super Mario Brothers later on. But I learned to code on that same computer when I was 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several generations have grown up watching TV and playing video games. Is it really so different? Sure, I would prefer my kids do activities that don’t involve screens most of the time. But they have also learned a lot from watching shows about history, nature, etc.

I think there are a lot of differences between tv and games from years ago vs those of today.

When I was a kid, the tv programs I liked came on once a week for 30 minutes (20, if you don’t count commercials). Today, you can watch multiple episodes in a row for hours upon hours. Binge watching is the norm now, but it was unheard of when I was a kid. Plus the picture quality was terrible and the screens were smaller so it wasn’t as addicting. Tv shows have also changed- compare the slow pace of mister Rogers to the shows of today, with all the colors, flashes, action, and scene changes.

Same with video games. I only had a couple, and they were pretty simple and slow paced. They could hold my attention for 20-30 minutes, maybe an hour on a rainy day. Today there are hundreds of games available that are designed to be addicting by going at a fast pace, having a lot of noises and colors, hundreds of levels, etc.

I grew up in the 80s and spent nearly all my free time watching TV. On weekends it's pretty much all I would do from age 3-18. Smurfs, sitcoms, etc. were some of the TV shows I watched but I would watch hour after hour of cartoons on Saturday mornings. I don't think all that TV watching has had any negative effects. I agree though that many of today's kids shows are more fast-paced. Our kids don't get any Internet and ipads only for travel.

[Anonymous]

Kids don’t just watch TV on screens. When your kids are older, you will see. It really is different than when we were kids but the differences aren’t apparent until late elementary or so.

[Anonymous]

This article was hilarious. Parents texting their nannies and chiding them when they answer for being on their phones. Instant NYtimes Lifestyles section classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several generations have grown up watching TV and playing video games. Is it really so different? Sure, I would prefer my kids do activities that don’t involve screens most of the time. But they have also learned a lot from watching shows about history, nature, etc.

I think the key is the same as with any other thing: age appropriate, parent selected. Slow step ups over time.

[Anonymous]

'screens" covers a lot of different stuff, including

tv shows, binge watching
computer games
surfing the internet
social networks

they are not all equally harmful or addictive. a lot of successful people binge watch quality shows on Netflix. movies and shows are an art form - there nothing inherently better about reading novels than watching shows. children's shows and movies today are in general artistically superior to what we watched 30 years ago. don't overdo it, sure, but that holds for everything.

the one thing that I think is really evil are social networks. A lot of adults, even very successful adults, struggle with this... it's extremely addictive to the point of disrupting life and they also depression and foster conformity and groupthink.. from this I conclude that they can't be good for children either. a lot of mental health depends on a certain amount of self-deception. not a really big one, one needs to be realistic, but enough to maintain self-confidence. social networks quantify everything and make people really vulnerable.

[Anonymous]

My husband is in cybersecurity and we have the same rules listed in the OP. Kids do not need personal screens.

[Anonymous]

I agree with him. Tho phone 7th gr. but no TV/media in room, no use after 8 pm. No social media (it is hurtful or. An be middle school years). I sadly learned a lot with our eldest (WhatsApp and Kik secret texting, Netflix at night on computer, instagram of DC partying, etc). Very strict with youngest. Wish I had seen article prior to eldest getting phone. Blame myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen this nytimes article? https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/26/style/phones-children-silicon-valley.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

"Technologists building these products and writers observing the tech revolution were naïve, he said.

“We thought we could control it,” Mr. Anderson said. “And this is beyond our power to control. This is going straight to the pleasure centers of the developing brain. This is beyond our capacity as regular parents to understand.”

He has five children and 12 tech rules. They include: no phones until the summer before high school, no screens in bedrooms, network-level content blocking, no social media until age 13, no iPads at all and screen time schedules enforced by Google Wifi that he controls from his phone. Bad behavior? The child goes offline for 24 hours."

Wondering if you all severely restrict screen time? Kinda scary that the makers of this tech are afraid of it for their own children

Used to live in Silicon Valley, and yes. The makers of these things know firsthand that they are designed to waste hours of your life. Of course they don't want their kids on them. In their minds, there are the people who create and make money, and the ones who buy into it.

Also, I think those rules sound pretty minimal. I do not intend to allow social media at 13. Too early. Our five year old gets basically zero screentime, only when traveling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several generations have grown up watching TV and playing video games. Is it really so different? Sure, I would prefer my kids do activities that don’t involve screens most of the time. But they have also learned a lot from watching shows about history, nature, etc.

I think there are a lot of differences between tv and games from years ago vs those of today.

When I was a kid, the tv programs I liked came on once a week for 30 minutes (20, if you don’t count commercials). Today, you can watch multiple episodes in a row for hours upon hours. Binge watching is the norm now, but it was unheard of when I was a kid. Plus the picture quality was terrible and the screens were smaller so it wasn’t as addicting. Tv shows have also changed- compare the slow pace of mister Rogers to the shows of today, with all the colors, flashes, action, and scene changes.

Same with video games. I only had a couple, and they were pretty simple and slow paced. They could hold my attention for 20-30 minutes, maybe an hour on a rainy day. Today there are hundreds of games available that are designed to be addicting by going at a fast pace, having a lot of noises and colors, hundreds of levels, etc.

I grew up in the 80s and spent nearly all my free time watching TV. On weekends it's pretty much all I would do from age 3-18. Smurfs, sitcoms, etc. were some of the TV shows I watched but I would watch hour after hour of cartoons on Saturday mornings. I don't think all that TV watching has had any negative effects. I agree though that many of today's kids shows are more fast-paced. Our kids don't get any Internet and ipads only for travel.

My kids watch the new Duck Tales
I told them how I used to watch it and Tail Spin.
I showed them the old theme song. It’s the same lyrics and melody but the production comparison is obviously different.
If you have time, google the Duck Tales new theme & the old theme.

The old one seems so slow and sad. Again, same melody.

But if you remember back to that time, it would have been a very exciting and fast song! I can put myself back there and remember it that way.

All in all, it’s not only screens but also the ADD/over production

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No screens at home and smart boards, computers and coding, as well as iPads at school and only school sounds like the way to go.

DD is only 3 and we limit screen time. We have seen it becoming addictive to her.

Same here. My then 3 year old used to watch tv or her tablet for an hour a day, and she was pretty much looking forward to that hour like it was life saving. So I cut it out. No more TV in the house, and I took away their tablets.

I let them watch my phone for about an hour when one of them is home sick or when detangling curly hair is taking too long and more painful than usual.

That's about it.

[Anonymous]

Starting in kindergarten the teachers in DCPS have advocated a reading program on the iPad and we have had to explain we can’t do that because our kids get way overstimulated just seeing the dang iPad. They can’t just do the reading app and leave it at that—they then want to do other apps and games. We have had more than one teacher get frustrated about this but too bad!! It’s like crack for our kids—they can read books instead!