Dating in your 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s a childless never married man supposed to do? I must scream total loser to women my age

How old are you? If you're 40 and never married, that's a red flag but not, ahem, insurmountable.

[Anonymous]

Dated a guy in his mid 40s, he complained that younger women wanted to have children. He’s looking for a serious relationship but doesn’t want more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re going to do great. I read this and I would date you. I’m actually the one who posted a few posts above (below?) with my nervousness about this situation too.

I told a couple of friends about my post and they laughed so hard. We’re our own worst critics, no?

I’m OP. Hoping this doesn’t come to reality. Can’t imagine divorce is a pleasure cruise, but appreciate the kind thoughts. And, I am, as one poster inquired, all that was in the original description. Biggest thing for me is the prospect of letting someone else down after dating / great sex / chemistry — life is complicated - when you get to a certain point you have to look at your future?? Daunting task I guess. Wish me luck.

[Anonymous]

If you are just out to have fun and sex there are a ton of women in the DC area in their late 30's and 40's who are more than willing. Few women or men will ever put it in their profile for obvious reasons but you can quickly find out what their real interest is even on the first meeting or date. It took me awhile to figure this out but now I've gotten pretty good at reading the signs and I'm no longer afraid to ask. A minority have been offended but not the majority. Yes, there are some I would never ask because I know they would be offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are just out to have fun and sex there are a ton of women in the DC area in their late 30's and 40's who are more than willing. Few women or men will ever put it in their profile for obvious reasons but you can quickly find out what their real interest is even on the first meeting or date. It took me awhile to figure this out but now I've gotten pretty good at reading the signs and I'm no longer afraid to ask. A minority have been offended but not the majority. Yes, there are some I would never ask because I know they would be offended.

Yes, would be nice to find this but nicer to ultimately get a happy place between another marriage and a long term relationship... someday. I’m OP, and honestly I can’t fathom sticking my junk in several women over the course of a year. Maybe I’m too old for the new game?! In my 20s it was a few partners per year, maybe in college it was more. I need some type of connection. I guess I’ll have to decide what I want... thanks for all the honest replies.

[Anonymous]

As hard as it may be try not to find companionship with someone too young (I know you all love your 20 somethings, and I said companionship, not a one night stand! If that’s what you want to for it) bc eventually they’ll want strings attached.

As a woman in early 30’s who is separated with 3 kids, I think you’ll find it a lot easier than I will. Don’t want anymore kids or baggage because I have enough of my own.

I think you’ll be fine OP, even without the dating apps (i don’t want to use those either) The older we get, the easier it is for men, especially being successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s yr old female here. You either need to date way below your age or at your age. Dating women in their early to mid 30s is going to be your problem area.

Women in their 40s who've already had their kids and are established in their community and jobs are looking for what you are.

Women in their early 20s are just fun.

I don't usually love the idea of telling older men to look for way younger women, mostly because I was that early 20-something not all THAT long ago and I did not appreciate having men 15+ years my senior interested, but I think I am on board with this. If you are 100% sure you don't want anything serious, you definitely don't want more kids, and you want to date somewhat ethically, these are probably your categories. Watch out for the 28-38 crowd and be very upfront with them about what you're looking for. Don't play coy. Toying with a woman from ages 32-36 (as an example) in a "relationship" that's going nowhere is shitty if she doesn't know your rules.

[Anonymous]

Op I think you should aim for women in their forties who don't want kids - or any more kids - AND be upfront about what you want BEFORE you have sex. I don't know why people are telling you to aim for women in their twenties. When I was in my twenties I thought guys in their forties who hit on women my age were ancient and sketchy, plus I definitely was looking to be in a serious relationship that could lead to marriage even in my twenties.