Divorce absent drugs/alcohol/abuse/AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my in-laws. FIL makes horrible comments about MIL weight when he has put on a good 30 pounds since he retired. They are either bickering at each other or not communicating at all. They sleep in separate rooms and watch tv in separate rooms. Neither of them are happy but neither of them are willing to take steps toward making it better or divorcing either. MIL and FIL insecurities step back to childhood for both of them, but I don't see either of them going to therapy to explore the past.

Given this, I think the first step here is actually wanting to change whatever situation you are in.

This is my situation too-married for almost 20 years. 3 great kids. Death by 1000 cuts is very real-just have no common ground anymore except for the kids. He doesn’t believe in therapy so that’s a nonstarter. I just think we really aren’t compatible and don’t share enough core values to even bother to make things work. I have 5 more years with kids at home and am starting to think about what comes next-and he is not on any of my future scenarios. I’m not even sad about it anymore, just practical....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ that's abuse

Bah, if criticism is abuse them every man is a victim of abuse.