Getting DD her first bra. When? Did you bring it up or did she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just bought bralettes/crop bras and told my DDs to wear them. It wasn't a big deal or an "event." Some shirts are thinner than others. My younger DD actually started wearing bralettes at 8. I think sports bras are so common that they didn't even bat an eye about wearing the bralettes. I removed the padding from any with inserts in the beginning, but my older DD, now 12, needs a little padding. I only get the ones with the thin removable inserts. Thick padding looks too mature. Just don't make a big deal about it because it really isn't a big deal. Maybe I've robbing my DDs of a memorable first bra moment, but it never dawned on me that this was even something to ask when is the right time about.

Good grief. Buying underware and bras isn't a "memorable" moment. So in my mind you are good to go. It is something people choose to do but, it isn't something worth remembering. Same with getting period. No celebration please!

There are some miserable people out there.

[Anonymous]

Most girls wear something starting in 5th grade unless they need one earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have read that you get women are choosing to go bra-less. If my HS girl didn't want to wear one, I wouldn't make her.

So, so, so many of both of my teen's female friends do not wear bras! And they are big fans of the crop tops with wide arm holes. I've seen more side-boob than I'm comfortable seeing, that's for sure. Most of these female teens are more covered when at our community pool in their bikinis than when in shorts & a crop top or tank.

I asked my kids why so many were passing on bras and both said around the same thing: we don't view boobs as sexual organs like your generation did, mom. They're just lumps of fat that every other person has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At ten when the breast buds started popping. We were at a dept. store and she tried on a dress and said I don’t like how this looks on me. I said hold on, and ran and grabbed a little bra with the pads in it, and said try this on underneath. She liked the coverage and wore one ever since.

Why in earth did you get a padded bra for a 10 year old?

Its not padded. It has a little insert that covers the nipple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At ten when the breast buds started popping. We were at a dept. store and she tried on a dress and said I don’t like how this looks on me. I said hold on, and ran and grabbed a little bra with the pads in it, and said try this on underneath. She liked the coverage and wore one ever since.

Why in earth did you get a padded bra for a 10 year old?

Not the PP, but if the point of bras on 10yos is to avoid having their breast buds show through their clothes, then of course their bra would need slight padding.

When did this get to be a thing? (And why?!) It wasn't a thing in the 1970s, but that was a long time ago.

Who cares? Just because something was done a certain way before doesn't mean it's the best option. I hated my puffy nipples showing through my t-shirts when I was 10. I wore huge baggy t-shirts to cover myself up.
My mom didn't offer to do anything about it. I'm an adult now and I know there's a better way, so I have helped my kid avoid the embarrassment that I felt. And the teasing from my brother and classmates for having peanut boobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read that you get women are choosing to go bra-less. If my HS girl didn't want to wear one, I wouldn't make her.

So, so, so many of both of my teen's female friends do not wear bras! And they are big fans of the crop tops with wide arm holes. I've seen more side-boob than I'm comfortable seeing, that's for sure. Most of these female teens are more covered when at our community pool in their bikinis than when in shorts & a crop top or tank.

I asked my kids why so many were passing on bras and both said around the same thing: we don't view boobs as sexual organs like your generation did, mom. They're just lumps of fat that every other person has.

They dress like this at school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At ten when the breast buds started popping. We were at a dept. store and she tried on a dress and said I don’t like how this looks on me. I said hold on, and ran and grabbed a little bra with the pads in it, and said try this on underneath. She liked the coverage and wore one ever since.

Why in earth did you get a padded bra for a 10 year old?

Its not padded. It has a little insert that covers the nipple.

They're padded. You can take the padding out, if you want to, but it's definitely padding.

[Anonymous]

DD brought it up in 6th grade, we went to Target and she picked out a few.

Re. sagging - I grew up in Europe where going braless was the norm. My boobs are still nice and perky at 45 (granted, I am a B, so not much weight, but still).

[Anonymous]

Pick up some bralettes or sports bras at Target--the girls underwear section has lots of them. Bring them home, put them in her room or hand her the bag. Tell her you bought her these. It's a good time to have a conversation about body changes, etc. Tell her to try them on and let you know if they fit, etc.
This isn't rocket science. Talk to your kids about this stuff. You are her parent; she looks to you for guidance about how to handle these transitions. If you are scared or nervous or act like this is something shameful, she will get the message that growing up is abnormal. Don't tiptoe around these issues; this is the foundation for the open communication that is critical in the teen years.

[Anonymous]

Buy a set of training bras and tell her (quietly, one-on-one) that it's time to start wearing one. Say you'll leave them in her room. Put them in her underwear drawer, ready to wear.

Don't make a big, embarrassing deal about it; that's the last thing your DD wants! Just say you're happy to answer any questions she might have, but let her ask you.

This approach worked well with both of my daughters born four years apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy a set of training bras and tell her (quietly, one-on-one) that it's time to start wearing one. Say you'll leave them in her room. Put them in her underwear drawer, ready to wear.

Don't make a big, embarrassing deal about it; that's the last thing your DD wants! Just say you're happy to answer any questions she might have, but let her ask you.

This approach worked well with both of my daughters born four years apart.

What if she doesn't want to start wearing one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bought a bunch and put them in her drawer and then she started wearing them. We have the same book plus all the It’s Not The series, I let her initiate conversations.

Same here. DD is also 10.5 and I probably bought her those sports bra/training bra type things right around when she turned 10. She doesn’t always wear them because she’s not quite at the point that she *needs* to, but will if whatever shirt she’s wearing is thin. I figure she’ll start wearing them more regularly once she’s developed more.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is turning 12 next month and is in 6th grade. She has just started to develop breast buds so I bought her bras and sports bras at Old Navy because it was obvious through tee shirts and I didn't want that to be the first thing people noticed when they interacted with her. She started wearing them daily. She plays travel soccer 4 days a week and had to switch her jersey on the sideline last weekend at a tournament so it was great she was wearing something underneath.
I offered to buy them last year in 5th grade when most of her friends starting wearing bras but she had no interest "I don't need to wear one yet".

[Anonymous]

Her mother and I did. DD was very resistant. Eventually we just flat out insisted.

[Anonymous]

Breast buds can be very sensitive to the touch or if a shirt rubs against and even a little painful for some. My 10 year old daughter wanted to wear the bralette or a cami right away once the buds came.