BIL siphoning off money.... legal and financial planning advice wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It has come to our attention that my husband’s brother has been getting “chuncks” of money from MIL sporadically since FIL died. Most recently, the down payment for a house. The only reason we found out is because MIL’s financial planner made her distribute equal amounts to each sibling when she gifted the down payment.

I mainly want to make sure MIL (who is a widow) has enough to last her through the rest of her life and to avoid legal and financial problem when she dies.

Is this just general irritation at the sneakiness of BIL or do we have a potential future legal/financial liability sneaking up on us in the next couple of years? If so, is there someway we can protect my MIL and ourselves?

I actual,y don’t believe this. MIL is free to do with her money what she wants, while she is alive.

Gifts are gifts and do not need to be distributed evenly. No financial planner would force someone to give away money they didn’t have to,

So what’s the real story?

DP but there could be a trust out of which the MIL is drawing the money. In that case the financial planner / attorney / whomever would be acting according to the terms of the trust. It also could be a term of a will if the MIL's husband is deceased. For example, my parents as well as my husband and I have a term in our wills that does not allow the survivor to change the terms will after the other dies. This impacts any disbursements to children or grandchildren or others, and it protects the estate from some unsavory person attaching him/herself to the survivor and stealing or diverting funds.

Agreed it could be a trust, but in which case OP likely wouldn’t be as worried about the money, as the trust guarantees they’ll see the money someday.

Op. I am NOT worried about the money, I’m worried about preserving a positive relationship between my husband and his siblings. They don’t have the financial or legal wherewithal to do so themselves, or does MIL. I just need some suggestions to pass on to husband. He can take or leave them.

They should be worried about their relationship, not you. Don’t insert yourself into their business. If they ever need help with their relationship, suggest to your DH that they get a family therapist to help them work through their issues. But otherwise, just stay out of it.

They will have to deal with whatever comes up. BIL may even surprise you and actually step up and take MIL into his home and provide the care she may need if it ever comes to that. You just don’t know. Don’t assume the worst now.