It’s broke back mountain situation. |
While he's gone socialize with others, meet new people, get an STD panel, find a good lawyer, work on your life. Use an equal amount of money as he is, getting therapy and having fun while he's gone. |
I don't think you all have any idea how difficult it is for a woman in her early 60s to make a new life. I'm not sure I have enough courage to even try. |
This exactly. |
You know what? It is hard. My mom is in a similar situation ... married for many years, grandchildren and knows my dad is having an affair and she is bitter, but won’t do anything. And you know what? She is miserable, my dad is miserable, and they make us miserable. Its a bad bad cycle. At least talk to a lawyer to see what your options are. My mom doesn’t want to live alone but she already does. |
Your husband is 60 something, too? I assume that you've been married to him for awhile, have you ever suspected that he was out hooking up with other men before now? This seems to be a rather drastic lifestyle change for him doesn't it? |
Cone back and answer questions Op |
I have answered questions. We haven't been intimate in many years (not my choice). We've had our share of problems but this pattern of going off by himself is new within the past year. I let him know that I wanted to join him on the trip (leaving Sunday). He said no. No clear explanation. |
Suck it up and deal. Have some self-respect. You could live another 30+ years. What kind of life do you want? |
How about answering questions like what is he spending money on thats he draung the bank acct every time? What kind of camping trip -a road trip in an RV or tent camping in the middle no where? Any other odd behavior - have you checked his internet history? Going through a midlife crisis? Pretty much sounds like the writing is on the wall. |
Camping in a tent with intermittent nights in motels. Lots of meals in nice restaurants. Taking lots of cash out of ATMs. I think he's paying for BJs from men or women, I'm not sure which. I'm not sure it matters.
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Oh, and he refuses to wear a wedding ring. Says its uncomfortable for him, just like sex. Oh well. I'm just philosophical now and resigned to whatever comes. |
I call TROLL |
eh, blowing up her marriage and her life over what amounts to childish behavior (mid life crisis) on her husband's part may not be the way to go. This is a 60 something year old man, not a 30 something young buck. He is probably hanging out fishing, drinking and guffawing with other 60 something guys. He's acting like a single man when he abandons his wife like that and excludes her from all of these trips. That's the problem. He is disrespecting his wife and not attending to his marriage like a good husband should. Op could kick him to the curb over this and divorce him. But I will about guarantee that the one who will wind up sincerely regretting that in a few years will be her husband. The older single women that I've seen usually tend to do a whole lot better being single than the older guys do. They don't think they need their wives until they do. Marriage counseling, Op. |
My mother did it. My father died when she turned 60. Yes, it's hard. But it can be done. You have to be socially active, and get out and meet people. My mother has had a boyfriend for over 10 yrs now. Neither wants to remarry (both widowed), but they spend all of their free time traveling, sailing, doing yoga, playing tennis and golf. Widowed/divorced, same thing after that long a time. Death of a relationship. You mourn, you move on. You can do it. |