Brother thinking of "escape"

[Anonymous]

My brother did something similar, but not quite to this extreme, when his kids were 3. Looked at his wife one morning, said "I don't love you, I'm leaving." Walked out. Drained their joint bank accounts. Picked up his mistress(!!!!) and drove 6 hours to our parents house, where he cried that he had no marriage and no where to live and oh yeah this is my girlfriend she can live her too, right? That spineless POS didn't even have the decency to file for divorce; 5 months later the wife finally did so because she needed to establish child support and get what few assets remained divided up.

And he wonders why I think he's a tremendously awful person and refuse to have a relationship with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him some emergency mental health help. He needs it.

Was my first thought as well. Any history of mental health issues? Suicide risk?

Bumping this. What he is planning is an act of self-obliteration. Take it that way unless/until proven otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.

You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.

Different poster. He's not taking a job to support his children, though. He's taking it to escape his family responsibilities. He's not even planning to tell his children he's moving. So, he's talking abandonment, not making sacrifices in order to care for his family. And if you think that a couple of hours' flight to Ohio, which can be easily be done frequently for quick weekend visits, is the same as an international flight, I've got a bridge to sell you.

There is nothing in OP's message that says he wants to abandon his children or escape responsibility. The way I read it, he got tired of his wife's bullshit. Not a novel concept in modern America. If he wants out, he's got every right to get out. Many men dream of this, he's just one of the few who can pull it off. Hate him for it it makes you feel better. Oh, and there's not a gaping divide between Detroit and, say, Toronto mentioned above. Just saying. I think many PPs are two quick to assume the man is scum. While this may be a possibility, I wonder what makes women jump to this conclusion. Surely not a successful marriage or a fulfilling relationship, right. It's quite sad that DCUM demographic is so uniform in its bitterness when it comes to relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.

You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.

Different poster. He's not taking a job to support his children, though. He's taking it to escape his family responsibilities. He's not even planning to tell his children he's moving. So, he's talking abandonment, not making sacrifices in order to care for his family. And if you think that a couple of hours' flight to Ohio, which can be easily be done frequently for quick weekend visits, is the same as an international flight, I've got a bridge to sell you.

There is nothing in OP's message that says he wants to abandon his children or escape responsibility. The way I read it, he got tired of his wife's bullshit. Not a novel concept in modern America. If he wants out, he's got every right to get out. Many men dream of this, he's just one of the few who can pull it off. Hate him for it it makes you feel better. Oh, and there's not a gaping divide between Detroit and, say, Toronto mentioned above. Just saying. I think many PPs are two quick to assume the man is scum. While this may be a possibility, I wonder what makes women jump to this conclusion. Surely not a successful marriage or a fulfilling relationship, right. It's quite sad that DCUM demographic is so uniform in its bitterness when it comes to relationships.

Literally the post title is he wants to "escape" and the entirety of the post is that he wants to go to another country with no notice to his family. That's abandoning your children and escaping responsibility.

You're a bad person, dude. Stop trying to get people to agree that any person (man or woman) has a *right* to abandon their kids if life gets hard. You just have no concept of morals or ethics or responsibility. I said this a while back, but your parents owe both of you apologies. But like another PP said, they might be better off without you in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Why are you trying to shame him into staying if his family is better off without him? Rhetorical question.

Abandoning in the context of a modern American family would be cutting off the financial support. I doubt the gender-neutral monstrosity he has to call his wife would mind his leaving as long as he keeps the money coming.

We only have one life. Look at the next thread. Just like the female OP, he's just done with his lame wife and kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to shame him into staying if his family is better off without him? Rhetorical question.

Abandoning in the context of a modern American family would be cutting off the financial support. I doubt the gender-neutral monstrosity he has to call his wife would mind his leaving as long as he keeps the money coming.

We only have one life. Look at the next thread. Just like the female OP, he's just done with his lame wife and kids

Still not true. You've already decided what you're going to do. You tried to float the idea here to see if anyone would tell you it was reasonable. It's not. You're not a good person or father, regardless of how much you think you get a pass because you hate your wife. But you are correct that no one can stop you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.

You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.

Different poster. He's not taking a job to support his children, though. He's taking it to escape his family responsibilities. He's not even planning to tell his children he's moving. So, he's talking abandonment, not making sacrifices in order to care for his family. And if you think that a couple of hours' flight to Ohio, which can be easily be done frequently for quick weekend visits, is the same as an international flight, I've got a bridge to sell you.

There is nothing in OP's message that says he wants to abandon his children or escape responsibility. The way I read it, he got tired of his wife's bullshit. Not a novel concept in modern America. If he wants out, he's got every right to get out. Many men dream of this, he's just one of the few who can pull it off. Hate him for it it makes you feel better. Oh, and there's not a gaping divide between Detroit and, say, Toronto mentioned above. Just saying. I think many PPs are two quick to assume the man is scum. While this may be a possibility, I wonder what makes women jump to this conclusion. Surely not a successful marriage or a fulfilling relationship, right. It's quite sad that DCUM demographic is so uniform in its bitterness when it comes to relationships.

WTF is wrong with you? He plans to leave his kids with a couple of days notice. You don't think that might have a devastating effect on them? He has a responsibility to his kids, even if you don't think he has one to his wife. A stunt like that will mess them up for a long, long time.

[Anonymous]

No wonder he has a bad marriage. He's a bad person.

[Anonymous]

PPs, chill. As I said, he's sick of his needy wife and children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to shame him into staying if his family is better off without him? Rhetorical question.

Abandoning in the context of a modern American family would be cutting off the financial support. I doubt the gender-neutral monstrosity he has to call his wife would mind his leaving as long as he keeps the money coming.

We only have one life. Look at the next thread. Just like the female OP, he's just done with his lame wife and kids

MRA poster again.