Brother thinking of "escape"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

He's not only a spouse. He's also a father. And yes, it matters if a father says "I'll be moving to Asia tomorrow without you, good luck suckers" to his kids. The fact that you think it doesn't make a difference to a kid if their father is in the same town versus on another continent only shows how little you think of fathers. You're wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

[Anonymous]

I would tell my brother that he could either talk to his wife about this or I would. He's being a gutless loser. He needs to have the conversation even if it's difficult. If he's unwilling to do that, then my sympathy and loyalty would lie with my SIL and nieces/nephews.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get him some emergency mental health help. He needs it.

Was my first thought as well. Any history of mental health issues? Suicide risk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

You are insane. Even if they have a private jet it is not the same thing as across town. Clueless

OP- if it was just the two of them that’s one thing. Those poor children. There father wants to up and leave them with a few days notice???? Thats terrible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

So if he's married to a screwed up person, it's ok to abandon his kids and leave them alone with the screwed up person? Save himself at the kids' expense? If that is what you're saying is the right thing to do, I truly hope you're not a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.

You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.

You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.

Growing up on the same street is not the same as being in another state? My parents are divorced and my dad did live in another state. He did not call and give me a heads up on the way to the airport as his means of informing me. I feel like you are a troll so I don't want to give you the time of day but parental abandonment has long term proven studies that show it is traumatic and effects kids for the rest of their lives. If you are a parent who did that, you permanently damaged your children. There is no escaping that reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.

You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.

Different poster. He's not taking a job to support his children, though. He's taking it to escape his family responsibilities. He's not even planning to tell his children he's moving. So, he's talking abandonment, not making sacrifices in order to care for his family. And if you think that a couple of hours' flight to Ohio, which can be easily be done frequently for quick weekend visits, is the same as an international flight, I've got a bridge to sell you.

[Anonymous]

Though honestly, from what you are describing of your brother, OP, while it will be devastating initially, his wife and kids might ultimately be better off without a deadbeat who doesn't actually want to be a husband or a parent. So perhaps you should not be discouraging him, as he may be doing them a favor by removing himself.

[Anonymous]

So he is just going to ditch his kids... wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer!

Harpies? Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person. If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human being.

It's possible. It's also possible he's married to a seriously screwed up person. What does it matter in what manner a spouse leaves? The family is broken. How is it consolation to the children that he's in an apartment across town instead of another country? Please.

NP. Um, what? They can still see him regularly in an apartment across town vs overseas.

Overseas is not on Mars. You don't even know where he wants to go.

Even if it is Toronto (which is not over a sea) it is too far to see your kids on the day to day. And even if you were leaving and were staying across town, announcing one day that you are done and fleeing the house is still traumatic to your kids who should get the respect of brother and his DW making a decision to separate and then communicating that to the kids as a unit.

I think OP is the brother and is responding in his own defense.

OMG, what if he's offered a decent job in Ohio and has to take it partly in order to support his children? He won't be overseas, but he won't see the kids every day. How many divorced parents you know live on the same street, PP? Grow up, FFS.

You should not think as much. It obviously hurts.

Well, a normal, decent person would not take the job in Ohio and make all plans to move there without telling his kids until a day or two beforehand. He would give them some kind of advance notice before he fled the jurisdiction. Also, taking a job to support your family is not the same as taking a job to escape your family.

You have got to be the brother, because otherwise there is no way to defend this guy's plan.