Flame away if you must, but please tell me WYWD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many posters are missing the point. No one, not OP’s child and not the SN child, has the RIGHT to be in gym childcare. Any business you go into, if you act inappropriately, the business can eject you. If a gym goer acts violently to a staff member, couldn’t the gym kick him/her out? If a kid, SN or otherwise, is violent to a staff member to the point that she was concerned about her safety, they should be able to kick the child out and refuse to let him back in. This is probably not a popular or politically correct opinion, but it is consistent with business practice not to mention what is safest for everyone involved.

And as a PP said, a SN child gets 1:1 attention at a school. Gym childcare is NOT set up to care for a SN child who has violent outbursts. If it was just a one-time thing, the SN parent can talk to the gym to try to allow him back. But there are no rights involved.

Special ed teacher here-just wanted to point out that it is extremely rare for any child to get 1:1 attention at school! I have worked in public and private special ed schools, and 1:1 ratios simply happen rarely, if ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of the molestation (which is unfounded) I wouldn't send my kid to a daycare with an adult with the cognitive level of a toddler. Kids play rough and it would be easy for your kid to get hurt. Just like I wouldn't send my toddler into a bounce house with 7 year olds.

OP said an "adult sized child". What does that mean, OP? A gym childcare could go up to age 12. I could see an 11 or 12 year old seeming "adult sized" to the parent of a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of the molestation (which is unfounded) I wouldn't send my kid to a daycare with an adult with the cognitive level of a toddler. Kids play rough and it would be easy for your kid to get hurt. Just like I wouldn't send my toddler into a bounce house with 7 year olds.

OP said an "adult sized child". What does that mean, OP? A gym childcare could go up to age 12. I could see an 11 or 12 year old seeming "adult sized" to the parent of a toddler.

This is OP. Thank you for the helpful responses. I asked about the age of the child, and the assistant manager hemmed and hawed and said 12. I asked what the age limit is, and he said 12. Obviously the gym doesn't ask for a birth certificate to allow a child in. By "adult sized" I meant as big as I am. I'm 5'6". I was the same height at 12 as I am now.

I do think since FCPS were out yesterday that the child was on one last day of spring break. So, I assume that he'd normally be in school, and probably won't be back on a regular basis and this will all be moot. I've been taking my kids to this gym for years, and I know the worker who refused to enter quite well. I trust her judgement, and know that she's very qualified to be with kids. I am going to follow a PP's advice and call management. The assistant manager was present at the time, and he was aware of the situation. I got the feeling that he wasn't happy about it, but couldn't really do anything for fear of discrimination. It's a tough situation, and I didn't know how to handle it, and he probably didn't either. First time for everything. The SN mom and I are both paying members. We were both paying to have our kids there. So, in that sense, we both have a "right" to be there. I hope that in the future the gym will be able to figure out something that keeps all of the kids safe.

A PP mentioned that there is rarely a 1:1 ratio. My experience with SN kids is quite limited, I'll admit. I do have friends who have children with DS and very low functioning autism though, and they both have full time aides with them in APS. Maybe it varies by severity and locality. This child was as SN as those two are though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is focusing way too much on the molestation concern.. the OP admits her past is clouding her judgement. However, she witnessed a staff member refusing to be in the area because of past violence. Of course you need to trust your instincts OP and make sure your child is safe. I would ask the gym director if something could be done to separate the smaller children. I'm sure the mom of the SN child needs a break as much as anyone so tread lightly but I would definitely see if you can find a solution. For what it is worth, our gym separates the littlest kids from anyone over 4.

+1

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that the gym could have a policy that children must be able to play safely, and that any child who is unable to follow rules or be redirected by staff will have to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many posters are missing the point. No one, not OP’s child and not the SN child, has the RIGHT to be in gym childcare. Any business you go into, if you act inappropriately, the business can eject you. If a gym goer acts violently to a staff member, couldn’t the gym kick him/her out? If a kid, SN or otherwise, is violent to a staff member to the point that she was concerned about her safety, they should be able to kick the child out and refuse to let him back in. This is probably not a popular or politically correct opinion, but it is consistent with business practice not to mention what is safest for everyone involved.

And as a PP said, a SN child gets 1:1 attention at a school. Gym childcare is NOT set up to care for a SN child who has violent outbursts. If it was just a one-time thing, the SN parent can talk to the gym to try to allow him back. But there are no rights involved.

SN parent here. Can you hear me laughing??? I'm getting up off the floor right now. Most of us wish we got this.

[froggymom]

If you feel uncomfortable with the situation then you need to find another gym or make other arrangements for childcare. I think your concerns about safety are waranted. What experience and training did the person watching the children have? This is not fair to the SNC and the other children. It is not about molestation,just safety for all the children.

[Anonymous]

Did the "adult sized" kid do anything inappropriate or is Op just freaking out bc she is mentally conjuring up endless possibilities of offenses? You're projecting op.

[Anonymous]

Drop off day care is a free for all. You get what you pay for.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned over the staff comments of the individual being physically violent - has nothing to do with SN. I would not place my child in there while that individual was there based off the comments. I would not worry about Sexual abuse so much as if that person got violent and your child was there, would they be injured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the "adult sized" kid do anything inappropriate or is Op just freaking out bc she is mentally conjuring up endless possibilities of offenses? You're projecting op.

Probably a teen or preteen.

[Anonymous]

I know it's been said, OP...but you had me with you until the whole "molestation" thing.

You didn't need that to make your argument, but you threw it in anyway (I think because you thought it would pull a few more people toward your viewpoint.) But actually, I was there with you in concern simply at overhearing the employee describe this specific child's prior behavior. A kid who is violent or physical with other kids (even without special needs) would make me nervous about leaving my toddler around, but his being special needs may mean that he does not have control over these impulses and the worker is not prepared or properly trained to deal with outbursts of a kid who doesn't possess the impulse control or understanding to respond to verbal behavior corrections by this hourly staff member. That is dangerous when said kid is the same size as the staff member in charge.

That said, I would simply not leave my kid in the gym childcare when this child was there. (But I wouldn't leave my kid in the gym childcare when a 4 year old "bully" without special needs was there either.)

If that means you miss going to a class or have to reschedule, oh well. You can always tell the instructor (if asked) that you didn't feel comfortable leaving your kid there since the staff member had relayed that there is also a child there whose behavior is unpredictable and sometimes physical/violent.

Gym childcare usually has a restriction of the time period that a child can stay...around 1-2 hours. So he won't be there all day...and man...that mom needs a break too!!!

[Anonymous]

If any environment make you uneasy, you stop going there.