Guilt: Teen is everything I can’t stand

[Anonymous]

It's the hormones, right? Please tell me!

I'm not a bad parent, where did I do wrong, what should have I done differently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the hormones, right? Please tell me!

I'm not a bad parent, where did I do wrong, what should have I done differently?

It has to be. There are literally days when I want to abandon my family and take off to a distant country

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Politically? How?

Why should it matter? According to DCUM, I’m sure it would be great if the daughter were on the liberal side of the OP’s views. If she’s on the conservative side, it would be Oh no, OP, you need to fix her views right away!!

SMH.

EXACTLY.

Snowflakes.

[Anonymous]

the politically thing is a weird thing to get all bent out of shape about, unless your dc is a Nazi or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:re boarding school, when my 15 y.o. was 13 she was so difficult, and I started to think about boarding school but I didn't know how to get her to take her ISEE again or how to get her to go! Not like I could throw her on the bus!

At one point, she had taken off after dark; thank goodness for the 'find my iphone' feature). I was in this dark park with her, and calmly told her she cannot run off at night like that, but I get it, she felt trapped, and I didn't want her to feel trapped. I told her I wasn't normally a fan of boarding school, but it was clear that I wasn't cutting it, so it would be something we could consider so she didn't feel trapped.

Anyways we worked on it and it's much better now; I think reminding a teen (and ourselves!) that it's not forever, and letting a teen feel they are not trapped, helps.

And that book, "yes your teen is crazy!" best DCUM rec ever.

There are employees who come from a boarding school to pick up the non-compliant teen...

OMG do not send your kid to one of those places. She’ll come out crazier and more rebellious than ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the hormones, right? Please tell me!

I'm not a bad parent, where did I do wrong, what should have I done differently?

It has to be. There are literally days when I want to abandon my family and take off to a distant country

I swear, there was one time two years ago that had it not been for the thought of leaving my other child alone with the difficult one, I would have just up and left. Maybe for a day, maybe for a week; not sure. I think had I been a man, I would have done it. I can see why men leave (a double standard, but it's more acceptable in our culture for a man to leave). I am grateful for my DH sticking out these teen years with me!

[Anonymous]

My son's a flippin' Trump supporter! Has the hat and everything. Pro NRA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's a flippin' Trump supporter! Has the hat and everything. Pro NRA.

I’ll never complain about my bratty 13 yo DD again!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the hormones, right? Please tell me!

I'm not a bad parent, where did I do wrong, what should have I done differently?

It has to be. There are literally days when I want to abandon my family and take off to a distant country

Thank God for doors that lock! Sometimes I just have to step away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, I just said this to my DH today. Our 15 y.o. teen DDs is so difficult! She was soo b*tchy to me today. And our other DD is so sweet; ok, she's only 13, but hey when the older one was 13 she was from hell. She's actually better now at 15.

I don't know why it is that some teens are so difficult. But when my 15 y.o. DD is NOT being difficult, she's really wonderful. So I look at that as light at the end of the tunnel.

The thing that gets me through is I'll think, "just relax, 3.5 more years and she'll be in college." It's the only way I can hold it together.

I wonder if there is some connection between deep social/philosophical thinking and difficulty (drama). Because my older DD has a really interesting mind and thinks about lots of issues in depth; she's really fun to talk with. But when she's horrid, it's like the worst lawyer you ever met. In contrast, my younger DD is sort of a factual or concrete thinker, e.g. "I saw 3 hawks today" and her response to "how was your day" is "good!" I was thinking the math/science types might be easier to raise.

hmm. I might start a post and ask parents of adult kids about this!

Have you all taken the Myers-Briggs personality test?

It's not the end-all-be-all to explaining this or anything else, but I do think it can be a useful tool for undersanding ourselves and others (and ourselves in relation to others . . . ) and also the variances in human behavior. It can be useful in helping teams of people work together more smoothly effectively in the workplace. I'm sure it's useful in other systems, too -- including the family.

I could guess about the differences in your daughters based on what you've described. But have them do a free or inexpensive MBTI and then google around for personality descriptions. I'm sure you'd learn a bunch. Even more if you did it yourself, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's a flippin' Trump supporter! Has the hat and everything. Pro NRA.

See this is how I feel about niece worshipping the Obamas and loving how they made rap artists visible in the white house, and how Michelle is such a “strong woman” for not being proud of our country until she became First Lady. So trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Politically? How?

Why should it matter? According to DCUM, I’m sure it would be great if the daughter were on the liberal side of the OP’s views. If she’s on the conservative side, it would be Oh no, OP, you need to fix her views right away!!

SMH.

EXACTLY.

Get a life or lives. Airing your petty resentments on every thread where you can insert them tangentially makes you look like a teen yourself.