Hit my son with my car - guilt

[Anonymous]

This is literally my worst nightmare. We have a small driveway and often have to move one car out to access the other (or to give the kids room to play basketball.) I have a policy of not moving the car if my kids are in the driveway. They literally have to get in the car or go back inside the house, otherwise I won't turn on the ignition.

OP, I was in a very severe car accident when my kids were younger. Our car was T-boned, with the impact right at spot where my then 2yo was strapped into his car seat. No one was hurt, but it was incredibly traumatic to watch EMTs cut my kid's car seat out of the car with him in it (screaming in fear.) They later determined I was at fault (pulling onto a busy street.) I didn't drive for weeks after that, and I think of it often when I drive. How lucky I was not to have injured anyone, and why safety is the most important thing to keep in mind when you're beyond the wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my worst nightmares. Do you have a backup camera? All I can say is try to see a therapist.

one of my nightmares too, every time I drive in to the garage I check that they're not in there. older one just learned how to open the childproof doorknob thing. and something they arrive home at 5:30 too and I'm paranoid.

[Anonymous]

My dad is a retired pediatrician. He always rolls down his windows when he's backing up. I asked him why once, and he said it's because of the number of injuries and deaths he saw to children that happened in the driveway, usually while the other parent was screaming for them to stop. Being able to hear is important. I would also install a backup camera. I'm glad you're child is OK.

[Anonymous]

I once completely ran over my DDs bike backing out. I don’t have the camera, and I just didn’t even know it was there until I ran it over. I was terrified I had hit her too. Luckily, she was in the neighbors yard. The bike was a crumpled mess. It’s was just that easy, and just as easily could have been her sneaking behind me. I can see why the cameras are mandated now.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, OP. It’s a solid learning experience. You’ll never back out the same again!

[Anonymous]

Beware of over-reliance on backup cameras: https://www.thesilverlining.com/safety-resources/tips-to-help-avoid-losses/auto-tips/back-up-cameras

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is when guilt has a purpose - to ensure that you will pay attention every time you back out of your garage so that you don't permanently maim or kill someone.

So please do feel anxiety, worry or guilt, or some feeling that will increase your alertness every time you get in your car.

I have a bad feeling, honestly, OP. You coming on here, the tone of your post, the update specifying that you don't feel guilty... I hope I'm wrong. But you don't seem worried enough, to be honest.

Ignore this OP. Stranger on a forum determining you don't feel guilty enough. PP whether or not OP feels guilt I guarantee you he will be alert every time he gets in his car for the rest of his life.

I certainly hope so! But I'm not getting a good vibe from this post. If it were me, I wouldn't be posting on DCUM about it, saying I don't feel guilty and that it was an accident.
Most posters who responded to OP were clearly projecting their own emotions.

Where exactly did you come up with the bolded? The subject literally has the word 'guilt' in it. Perhaps it is you who is projecting.

I'm glad your son is OK, OP. How scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, after reading your posts, I'm not feeling guilty, because it was an accident. I think I just wanted some positive attention, so thanks for telling me it's ok

PP was probably reacting to this.

[Anonymous]

My dad ran over me when I was kid. Well.... hit me with the car. It knocked me out of my shoes and I landed in a ditch. I was young 3 or 4 I think I was walking down the road. The road was wet. I remember bits and pieces. I've never asked him about it.

Hitting your kid with a car happens frequently.

I know of someone else who's mom drove over their arm on a gravel drive way. Kid was ok.

Once while walking down the street on Tokyo I was a small child get pulled under the front week of a car while walking in a cross walk with his mom. The driver was turning slowly (almost stopped) the wheel came out of the wheel well and as the car rolled forward about half a wheel turn it was like the tire just reached out and grabbed the kid. as the kid went down the kids had got pulled out of the mothers hand. The car drove over the kids legs.

So... in my life three examples. I could be an outlier...

[Anonymous]

If there is every a divorce expect your wife to use that against you.

If you are smart you will preempt that by beating her to the punch and pointing out that if she had better control of the kid he would not have been behind the car.

Just remember that who every throws blame first has the upper hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, after reading your posts, I'm not feeling guilty, because it was an accident. I think I just wanted some positive attention, so thanks for telling me it's ok

PP was probably reacting to this.

Yeah, I'm really hoping this is a case of tone not coming through on the internet, because this post is kind of chilling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my worst nightmares. Do you have a backup camera?

OP you can get a backup camera installed into your rear view mirror (actually you swap your rear view mirror for one with a backup camera. I did this because I live near a school, and one day I backed into my trash can (it was in the street just in front of my driveway but since the car sits higher on the driveway pad and then there is a decline off the curb, the trash can was sitting lower than my rearview mirror field). I thought, this could have been a kid. I'm so happy I spent the money on it.

[Anonymous]

Situational awareness. We all need to do a better job of paying attention when driving. It's not just little kids. Joggers and.people on their phones will frequently step right in.front.of.you.

After you get done feeling sorry for yourself, try to figure out why by our weren't paying attention, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, after reading your posts, I'm not feeling guilty, because it was an accident. I think I just wanted some positive attention, so thanks for telling me it's ok

It wasn't an accident in.the sense of no fault. You were grossly negligent but very very lucky.

Get your.head.out-of.your ass, op.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, just telling the story helps you process it, so feel free to share the story here and there with parents. It will make you and them feel better about remembering to always be vigilent with kids.

When he was about 8 months, my oldest once rolled out the dog door into the back yard. He could only crawl, was there when we were cooking, then gone. We panicked, looked all over the house, checked the basement to see if he rolled down. It was silent. Finally I opened up the back door and there he was looking bemused like 'wha' happen?' It was funny but scary. I could just as easily have thought DH had him upstairs and left him out there for an hour or so. They are smarter than you think. They are faster than you think.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are very lucky.

Eight years ago, my nieghbor hit his 2 yo DS while backing up his truck. The boy had head and spine injuries. Didn't walk and talk until he turned 6. He is still in special ed.