Please help—Gaming addicted 13 year old needs text/talk only phone

[Anonymous]

My 7th grader has no phone.
You can this easy on yourself, and decide that a gaming addiction means no technology.

Has he been evaluated for ADHD? If he has ADHD and a gaming addiction, stimulants can work wonders.

[Anonymous]

make

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to let you know of an author, Katrina Kenison, who wrote a really poignant memoir about her son's gaming/alcohol addiction. It is called "Magical Journey." Good luck to you and your son.

Thank you. I will check it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When your kid had the tracphone he was also able to use the browser with WiFi, OP. He could go to Starbucks or the library and game there.

Look into those parental controls a PP mentioned. You can turn the home Wifi off, or control what sites are visited. I don't know that you can delete a browser entirely, so the Jitterbug or similar might be best. You could also get a phone that you hold 99% of the time, and he can ask to see or you hand over when a text comes through. It would look to his friends like he has his own phone, but you'd be the one controlling it. He has to use it in your presence. He could know he would slowly earn access to it as he got over his gaming compulsion.

The way your child is getting around controls must be through accessing a password, right? You need new passwords on all devices, the router, etc. Keep them on your phone in a password protected password keeper on your password protected phone. Look up how to generate a good password if you need to.

My DS is beyond passwords. He has figured out how to hack into our computers via back doors. Don't ask me how, I'm not very tech savvy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not techy, so need help finding a phone that has no internet access for my DS, who is being treated for gaming addiction (long sad story).

I have not found any phone without a browser, even a dumb phone.

I have an old non-Apple (sorry, I can’t remember what those are called!) smartphone. Is there an app or monitoring software I could put on the phone that would totally disable the internet?

My kid is very smart and can hack around most restrictions we’ve tried.

He wants to get his problem under control, but needs a phone to text his friends (since NO middle school kids will use the telephone to communicate!) Right now he has no phone, but that is limiting for him socially.

Please, no trolling. This is a painful problem, and I’m trying very hard to help my kid.

Can I ask where he is being treated? We are looking at places, but are in the DC area and many are on the West Coast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need an old flip phone w/ no internet capabilities. he can still text and make calls.

But as a former teen with parents who feared I was "internet addicted," and I did have some unhealthy internet chatting habits, it was really an escape from depression. I hope you are getting good help at figuring out and addressing everything that may be going on. Fwiw, I eventually grew up to be a healthy functional adult.

Thanks for this post. I'm glad to hear you recovered. My DS may have some other issues, but that's for the counselor to uncover. At the moment, I think it's an addiction to gaming caused by the way his brain is wired. The problem is the addiction, no matter why it started. I don't think he has depression, but I may be wrong. I think he's hugely bright, and bored. He gets all As at a very good school without much effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - what if you found him one with an old 2G browser?

I don't think you can play a game on soemthing that slow, so if he breaks your rules he still won't have fun.

Good idea. Where should I look? On Ebay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My 7th grader has no phone.
You can this easy on yourself, and decide that a gaming addiction means no technology.

Has he been evaluated for ADHD? If he has ADHD and a gaming addiction, stimulants can work wonders.

The psychologist he's seeing says she thinks there may be some attention issues, but she's not sure. All that gaming may have rewired his brain. It's tough to untangle. I'd use meds as a last resort, and we're not there yet.

Nevertheless, he needs a text/talk only phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not techy, so need help finding a phone that has no internet access for my DS, who is being treated for gaming addiction (long sad story).

I have not found any phone without a browser, even a dumb phone.

I have an old non-Apple (sorry, I can’t remember what those are called!) smartphone. Is there an app or monitoring software I could put on the phone that would totally disable the internet?

My kid is very smart and can hack around most restrictions we’ve tried.

He wants to get his problem under control, but needs a phone to text his friends (since NO middle school kids will use the telephone to communicate!) Right now he has no phone, but that is limiting for him socially.

Please, no trolling. This is a painful problem, and I’m trying very hard to help my kid.

Can I ask where he is being treated? We are looking at places, but are in the DC area and many are on the West Coast.

He's seeing a counselor, not a treatment program. I hope we don't get there. Best of luck to you. It's tough. His counselor likens it to an eating disorder -- there's no way to stop eating, and there's no way to avoid screens forever. It's not like drugs or alcohol, which you can stop using completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not techy, so need help finding a phone that has no internet access for my DS, who is being treated for gaming addiction (long sad story).

I have not found any phone without a browser, even a dumb phone.

I have an old non-Apple (sorry, I can’t remember what those are called!) smartphone. Is there an app or monitoring software I could put on the phone that would totally disable the internet?

My kid is very smart and can hack around most restrictions we’ve tried.

He wants to get his problem under control, but needs a phone to text his friends (since NO middle school kids will use the telephone to communicate!) Right now he has no phone, but that is limiting for him socially.

Please, no trolling. This is a painful problem, and I’m trying very hard to help my kid.

Sorry to hear this. How did you get this diagnosed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I second Tracfone. I purchased it online from Walmart. I got the non-smart phone. Cost me $20 and then loaded it with a $20 calling card that lasts 3 months. It’s a dollar per text or phone call so it’s really only for emergency and it’s very embarrassing for my 12 year old. My friend had a similar situation as you and she stopped cold turkey. Not even a basic phone. Also if it makes you feel better by brother had a similar issue growing up finally got out of it by getting involved in sports and is a highly specialized surgeon today. There is hope.

This is the OP. I bought him a Tracfone. I bought him one like this: https://www.amazon.com/TracFone-LG-306G-Contract-Phone/dp/B00JG3M47E/ref=sr_1_19/144-1123252-8046824?s=wireless&ie=UTF8&qid=1517956445&sr=1-19&keywords=tracfone

It has no data plan. I bought him a 60 minute card, which equals 180 minutes. He used all the minutes in two days, then claimed the phone was "broken"!!! I finally realized there is a browser in the phone, and that he was able to access games through the browser, which explained why his minutes disappeared. So I took that phone away. He had it for 2 days.

What Tracfone did you buy that has no browser? It seems like all of them have a browser.

Hi OP, I purchased the TracFone LG 109C from Walmart in October. There is a rudimentary browser on it but firstly it is terrible and my kid knows the cost of $1/min is too significant. If my child had pulled a stunt like using up $60 of phone credit in two days there would be a major reckoning. Like no computer or iPad for months and no play dates for months. I know you are a good parent but you really have to put your foot down. He needs to be knee deep in extra curriculars like my brother to get over his game addiction. He clearly has a sense of entitlement which is going to cause other problems in life. Nip this in the bud now.

I mentioned earlier how much my friend’s son had a similar issue. They got rid of the smartphone and then he was binging on the iPad so she hid it in an unsuspecting place and he found it! So she had to take it to work. It’s really had to be cold turkey for him. Yes it’s humiliating but he will be a better person for it. You gotta do what you gotta do and stop feeling sorry for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - what if you found him one with an old 2G browser?

I don't think you can play a game on soemthing that slow, so if he breaks your rules he still won't have fun.

Good idea. Where should I look? On Ebay?

An off brand cell phone store. Is cricket still around? People with cricket have crappy phones.

[Anonymous]

You’re not alone OP. We are dealing with something similar with our DS, although maybe not quite as serious. Right now he has an old fashioned flip phone while we figure it out. He hates it. But that’s too bad.

Our kid ultimately needs texting, a camera for a school and some limited internet. I think we are going to strip down his iPhone this weekend. Completely reset it, and take off absolutely everything, including the internet browser. Then install the limited apps he needs— blackboard, gradebook, Washington Post, and email. Not FB (his time suck) not games, and not an internet browser Set it to require parental approval to install anything. I do this for DD, and I have to approve apps from my email account, plus enter a password on her phone. We have some idea how this will work I. Theory. We’ll see how it plays out.

Honestly, we are all happier when he just has the flip phone. Including him. But the no email not texting gets hard to do long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an old flip phone w/ no internet capabilities. he can still text and make calls.

But as a former teen with parents who feared I was "internet addicted," and I did have some unhealthy internet chatting habits, it was really an escape from depression. I hope you are getting good help at figuring out and addressing everything that may be going on. Fwiw, I eventually grew up to be a healthy functional adult.

Thanks for this post. I'm glad to hear you recovered. My DS may have some other issues, but that's for the counselor to uncover. At the moment, I think it's an addiction to gaming caused by the way his brain is wired. The problem is the addiction, no matter why it started. I don't think he has depression, but I may be wrong. I think he's hugely bright, and bored. He gets all As at a very good school without much effort.

You seem to have a an approach of head stuck in the sand -
its all on the counselor to sort out
No meds
Someone tell me what phone to get
Could be adhd

How do you know the counselor wiill uncover the real issues? What approach is the counselor using? Is it appropriate for gaming addiction? Why no meds?

[Anonymous]

What are symptoms? How did you know?