Men, women and chores

[Anonymous]

I won’t generalize here on this one because my husband is awesome about cleaning, cooking, doing his own laundry, making his own lunches, fixing things around the house, doing the dishes, etc.
He was raised by a single mother and was far more domesticated than I was when we married. He literally put me to shame!
I do keep up with the house, and have for the past 25 years of our marriage as I stayed home while our 6 kids were growing up, but I’ve never had to ask him to jump in and help....if anything, I have to make him sit and rest....he’s just that type that is not satisfied unless he’s moving and doing something.
So from my perspective, although there certainly do appear to be some things that women tend to do around the house more so than men; I think it can also vary by couple and the expectations they may have learned in childhood as well as, the way they work those things out between them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In college, I only washed my sheets once a semester. I'm a little cleaner now, but don't kid yourself that men would clean that much more often if only their wives stopped doing it for them.

Don't judge me for my lifestyle choices.

I'm a guy and I change the sheets every two weeks. Go ruin some other man's wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband puts on a show when we have company, helping with food prep, dishes, etc. The rest of the time: nada. He takes the trash out, though often not until it's overflowing.

Why don't you take out the trash? Oh that's right, you're a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who do housework and child care are described as wimps or bitches by other men. They see it as emasculating. Hire someone or stay home and recognize that this is REAL work with real value. Stop putting down women who do.

Plenty of women don't put that high of value on men who are more involved with housework and child care. They're mostly not going to pass up the high-earning manly-man who isn't going to bother much with those things in favor of the guy who is less masculine but who will be a team player at home.

'

But then those women come straight to DCUM and bitch and complain about how their manly man alpha husband don't do shit around the god damn home and how they become workaholics when the kids come around.

It's as predictable as the sun rising in the east.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband puts on a show when we have company, helping with food prep, dishes, etc. The rest of the time: nada. He takes the trash out, though often not until it's overflowing.

Why don't you take out the trash? Oh that's right, you're a woman.

Did she not say she does everything else?

[Anonymous]

I'd rather lay floors than cook, and my husband would rather cook than lay floors. We do what makes us happy. I'm the handyman around the house. I'm also the mechanic. I'd rather be covered in car oil than cooking oil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband puts on a show when we have company, helping with food prep, dishes, etc. The rest of the time: nada. He takes the trash out, though often not until it's overflowing.

And, of course, you do everything right?

No, obviously she doesn't take out the trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I had an interesting conversation last night about a self help book I was reading. He stated that women care more about the house and chores more than men, so that's why they tend to do all the chores. I stated that men think women are going to do the chores, therefore all men need to do is wait around until women do them. They will never get bad enough to fall to most men's very low threshold where he would do it himself. To prove my point he actually thought bed sheets should be done quarterly and stated that a toilet could be cleaned monthly (DH isn't messy, so him saying this surprised me). He thought that we should just do more cleaning before we have guests, whereas I keep the house no more than 30 min from guest ready at all times because I find that easier to maintain.

To be fair, my DH does at least 50% of the household duties and works much harder at home than I do (he's finishing our basement, laying floors, and he cooks nightly), but he has never once in 12 years done any cleaning or laundry. I actually love our division of chores and we both think the other works harder than we do, which is key in my opinion, so this is about relationships in general, not mine specifically.

So maybe men's standards are too low and women's too high? Anyone else?

I have friends where it is the reverse: the man has the high standards and the woman is the slob.

[Anonymous]

Women are amusing with this stuff. They will find some way to make mundane household chores incredibly inefficient, but if you don't do it their way, it's "wrong.". That's why you have so many women who complaine about being overwhelmed with chores.

[Anonymous]

If you marry a man and expect him to do 50% of the chores, you are just setting yourself up to be disappointed. This almost never happens, no matter what the guy claims. Men will never care as much about cleanliness as women.

The smart thing to do is get it to the point where he is doing 30-40% of the chores but has strengths in other areas that make up for that last 10-20%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather lay floors than cook, and my husband would rather cook than lay floors. We do what makes us happy. I'm the handyman around the house. I'm also the mechanic. I'd rather be covered in car oil than cooking oil.

Funny enough, cooking and cleaning up happen multiple times a day and laying floors happens once every ten years. Nice deal indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband puts on a show when we have company, helping with food prep, dishes, etc. The rest of the time: nada. He takes the trash out, though often not until it's overflowing.

Ding, ding, ding! This is my DH too. I joke that we should have company over more, since he's suddenly helping me clean, cook, clean up after...