15 year old had a tantrum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)

Good for you, op. She will now learn to be more aware of her time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)

Good for you, op. She will now learn to be more aware of her time.

+1. You did the right thing OP. She didn't realize it was 1:30 am and not 11:00 pm? Straight up lie. Tell her to avoid this problem in the future her phone will recharge in your room every night to avoid future "accidents".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)

to be fair, when I was teen I talked on the phone for hours and sometimes my mom would tell me that I had been on the phone for 3 or 4 hours and I would say "really???" It never seemed like that long and I am sure that I talked to midnight and later at times.

But there wasn't a screen with a clock on your phone. OP's daughter knew exactly what time it was and waited until her parents were distracted to use her phone after 11:00 pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the offense directly related to the phone? If not, not sure why you would confiscate the phone.

NP We have rules in our house that, if not followed, result in our kids losing their phones. The rules are not directly related to phone use. A phone is a privilege that must be earned. Not meeting certain behavioral expectations, which may or may not be directly related to the phone, results in lost privileges.

That makes zero sense. Try better tying consequences to behavior.

NP. It makes perfect sense, except to parenting flakes who believe that everything should relate to "natural consequences."

I agree with PP. A phone is a privilege. It is the one carrot that I can hold over my kids' heads that I know will have an impact on them. Losing it can be tied to any form of misbehavior.

The next time you get a speeding ticket, the police should come to your house and confiscate your flat screen TV.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to start paying for her cell bill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The next time you get a speeding ticket, the police should come to your house and confiscate your flat screen TV.

A fine is essentially, the state coming to your house and confiscating your money.

What does you money have to do with driving? Nothing. It's just the easy, meaningful thing to take away from you.

[Anonymous]

She would get the phone taken away a lot longer for her tantrum behavior in my house. Are you kidding me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was the offense directly related to the phone? If not, not sure why you would confiscate the phone.

NP We have rules in our house that, if not followed, result in our kids losing their phones. The rules are not directly related to phone use. A phone is a privilege that must be earned. Not meeting certain behavioral expectations, which may or may not be directly related to the phone, results in lost privileges.

That makes zero sense. Try better tying consequences to behavior.

NP. It makes perfect sense, except to parenting flakes who believe that everything should relate to "natural consequences."

I agree with PP. A phone is a privilege. It is the one carrot that I can hold over my kids' heads that I know will have an impact on them. Losing it can be tied to any form of misbehavior.

The next time you get a speeding ticket, the police should come to your house and confiscate your flat screen TV.

Come back when you've got teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, yes the consequence wa directly related with the phone. She was FaceTiming at 1:30am and we have a rule that all phones must be on the chargers downstairs by 11pm on weekend. She took advantage that we were busy helping her 13yr old brother with a school assignment most of the evening and weren’t monitoring her phone usage. She’s better today but did spend most of the night crying and is very tired today. She says she didn’t know it was so late, and it was accident. (Really? Your phone is a clock)

to be fair, when I was teen I talked on the phone for hours and sometimes my mom would tell me that I had been on the phone for 3 or 4 hours and I would say "really???" It never seemed like that long and I am sure that I talked to midnight and later at times.

But there wasn't a screen with a clock on your phone. OP's daughter knew exactly what time it was and waited until her parents were distracted to use her phone after 11:00 pm.

A lot of apps don’t display the time. I’m pretty sure when you FaceTime the clock is off screen but I’m not going to make a call to double check. It’s still her responsibility to keep up with the time but don’t make it sound like she was staring at a clock and saying she didn’t know the time.

[Anonymous]

Could she have social anxiety?

Also sounds like she needs a long break from social media. (It's an addiction)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On Snapchat, she is likely upset that she will break all her streaks of replying to friends. (I had to roll my eyes when I learned about this from my DC, who at the time had ~20 streaks longer than 6 months with various friends.)

The streak thing cracks me up!

Mine was devastated when her longest streak (6 months) ended.

[Anonymous]

If you have Verizon, I recommend Family Base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you for having consequences and sticking with it. After a good night's sleep, if she is still having a tantrum, I would let her know that the phone ban will continue another 24 hours if she can't calm down about it.

This. You’re doing the right thing, OP.