Anyone successful in changing up IL vacations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does everyone really vacation with parents? We have traveled maybe 5 times in 20 years with my ILs or parents. (Actually exactly 4 times - to spend Easter at a beach and once with my mother to her hometown) We usually visit them at their homes and take our vacations as our own immediate family.

Yes that's the thing. Parents and inlaws both want us to vacation with them at least 4x a year. I think it's part of treating us like children still versus adults and it's also partly because they have all this free time now as empty nesters. They were jealous of the 3-4x a year international vacations that DH and I took in our 20s. Now that we have young children though, we have zero annual leave (because of maternity leaves) and less money. Our parents are desperate to spend their vacations with their grandchildren, but we can't afford it (mostly the no annual leave). No one offers to pay for us though and I'm not sure it would make a difference if they did.

My parents choose super fun destinations (Turkey, Normandy, Morocco) and we will go with them on those. Spending a week at Atlantic City or OBX with my inlaws in a dirty condo from the 1960s is a no go. Just can't waste my LWOP or annual leave on that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every year we have done the FL vacation with the IL's. It's also my parents favorite vacation spot. I have been going to FL since I was in the womb. My parents are planning to retire there. I am OVER Florida. I was determined to do something different and the key to that was finding a place they were all enthusiastic about going. I have always wanted to see Alaska. I was able to talk them into going on a cruise this year. Everyone is very excited. First year in my life I will not go to FL.

Wait, do your parents and inlaws vacation together? That would solve ALL of my problems if they invited each other. As it stands, they each want a week's long vacation plus every holiday spent with each of them. And it's physically not doable and we have no annual leave for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every year we have done the FL vacation with the IL's. It's also my parents favorite vacation spot. I have been going to FL since I was in the womb. My parents are planning to retire there. I am OVER Florida. I was determined to do something different and the key to that was finding a place they were all enthusiastic about going. I have always wanted to see Alaska. I was able to talk them into going on a cruise this year. Everyone is very excited. First year in my life I will not go to FL.

Wait, do your parents and inlaws vacation together? That would solve ALL of my problems if they invited each other. As it stands, they each want a week's long vacation plus every holiday spent with each of them. And it's physically not doable and we have no annual leave for that.

Yes we all take an annual trip to FL during the summer. We spend most of the holidays together as well. Our parents have been friends for years.

[Anonymous]

We asked MIL several times to vacation with us. We offered to pay for her trip each time. Nope. Couldn’t leave her dog to spend the week with her grandchildren. We stopped asking and kept traveling and now that she is too old and infirm to travel, she says, “I wish I could go,” any time we go on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked MIL several times to vacation with us. We offered to pay for her trip each time. Nope. Couldn’t leave her dog to spend the week with her grandchildren. We stopped asking and kept traveling and now that she is too old and infirm to travel, she says, “I wish I could go,” any time we go on vacation.

OK. Not sure what this has to do with this thread?