Do second chances ever work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In his letters and texts, he gave the lame excuse of work being the reason he left me high and dry. Then he said that after a few days, he was afraid I'd be angry and said that's why he never got in touch. Believe it or not, he has not even said he's sorry. It actually feels like he somehow puts the blame for his absence on me.

This just doesn't feel good. I'm working on trusting people, and he completely shattered my trust in him. I don't see him as someone who has my back, or my best interests at heart.

I've decided I'm not giving him another chance. He has not shown that he deserves that.

You did the right thing. Good people don't treat other people the way he treated you. If they have work pressure, they communicate with people that they respect; they don't get too scared and clam up.

I would recommend that you tell him to stop contacting you.

[Anonymous]

My now-husband broke up with me one night after a few months of dating. He said he really liked me but was basically a commitment-phobe and we had started to get more serious and it was freaking him out. The next morning he said he had made a huge mistake and would I consider forgiving him. I did, we got married, have been for years, and things are awesome. However, yous guy went to a whole other level. With him, I don't think I would ever trust that he wouldn't do it again. So no, I wouldn't give him a second chance.

[Anonymous]

This is about how you feel about yourself. Do you value yourself? Do you think you are a worthwhile and good person? Do you think you're a "catch"?

That's the question you need to ask, not whether he is worth it but whether you are worth it.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine married a man who cheated on her while they were dating. She caught him in the bed with the OW. They're sort of happily-ish married now with kids and have been married for 10 yrs. Her husband seems like a decent guy from what I can tell. She said after he cheated, she stopped talking to him, and he begged for her to come back via letters in the mailbox and dinner. It worked and she's happy-ish with her choice now, or at least has made peace with it.

This makes me wonder what should be the gauge for second chances? It's all so confusing. I have some friends who say accept no transgressions, and others who say give another chance. How do I decide??

Know yourself and what you can live with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gifts delivered?! Give him a chance girl.

Really. Because of gifts? Sad that you think a woman can be 'bought' regardless of the transgression.