FWIW, one parent's take on redshirting (sort of) now that DS has started K in MCPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Son started K in MCPS last week. No pre-K experience. He has stayed at home since birth. He is 5. He turns 6 next year May 2010. So far no issues. He really enjoys going to school (perhaps since he can now join his older brother who is in Grade 3). He just started reading a couple months ago (simple words and picture books). He has already mastered double digit addition and subtraction with carrying as well as multiplication tables. He has already fullfilled the academic objectives for the Kindergarten year but since this is his first foray into formal schools we are content to supplement any needs at home. I must admit the second child is much easier than the first vis-a-vis anxiety. They both started the public school system at about the same chronological age.

How's he doing socially???

[Anonymous]

Cool hand luke. Easier going than older brother. Loved by teachers at school and his swim team coach.
Party boy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I merely posted this as just one small example from a BTDT mom who agonized over when her September baby should start K. That's all.

But why would you agonize? You just go by the cutoff date. I mean, why would you agonize over deciding to ask the county to make an exception to the rule for him, rather than going with the cutoff date as it exists for everyone?

[Anonymous]

It seemed to me, OP has a very old boy for starting kindergarten. As she said at the start of this thread, she wondered last year if maybe she shoudl get him tested academically to see if he should have skipped preK and gone directly to K. I know several parents of smart kids with Sept. birthdays who feel like their kid will be bored in the 4 year old preK class (because they will turn 5 as soon as PreK starts) and also bored in Kindergarten (because they will turn 6 right after kindergarten starts).

She is probably comparing him with some of his friends, who are just one month older than he is -- who were in the class above him!

And she is saying that, so far, her older boy is THRIVING in kindergarten.

People are commenting, yeah, but this isn't redshirting. It's just going by cut-off score. And for HER son, you are right.

But think about the parents of boys one month older than her son -- with August birthdays. As they try to decide -- if I redshirt my son, won't he be bored being the oldest in the class? -- they might look to this woman's experience and see how much her son thrived in his position.

So you are all right, SHE didn't redshirt her kid. She decided against pushing him forward, as she could have done. And so far it seems like her son is doing well with this decision.

Fast forward a few years, and her son might have different experiences. I have a son with a fall birthday, but he started just when he should have -- but was always among the older kids in the class. He did well in kindergarten and first grade but now reaching second grade is bored with grade level curriculum. If I had somehow bumped him ahead a year in preK I think those first two years would have been HARD (in terms of fine motor skills, pencil grip, sitting sttill) but the grade level curriculum now would be more appropriate for him.

[Anonymous]

And if you think it is bad now, just wait until middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And if you think it is bad now, just wait until middle and high school.

I guess. But I'd rather have the problem of a child who is bored compared to a child who is totally demoralized for two years because he can't keep up with the kids in his class, has sloppy handwriting, can't write, and thinks poorly of himself....

It's hard to know what's the right thing.

[Anonymous]

All my nieces and nephews live in NY, where the cutoff is December 1. No one agonizes over July and August birthdays, they just send them to kindergarten because they are not the youngest. It is the October and November birthdays that get redshirted. My nephews started kindergarten when they were 4, and about to turn 5. They are in older grades now, and doing fine. Are kids just more mature in NY? I doubt it. Set a cutoff date, and parents close to it will obsess, whenever the date is.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am in the same boat--DS is turning 4 this month and won't enter public K until almost 6. I am wondering what Pre-K you sent yours to? I have no intention of testing DS to go into K early--he's in a 4's class at his preschool now and I can see the differences between him and the older 4s (some of whom turn in the next month or two). Verbally he is fairly advanced but socially he is an "almost 4 year old".

I'm just starting to look into PreK's now for next year so if you are comfortable sharing the name of yours I would appreciate it

Glad to hear your son is doing well.

[Anonymous]

I guess. But I'd rather have the problem of a child who is bored compared to a child who is totally demoralized for two years because he can't keep up with the kids in his class, has sloppy handwriting, can't write, and thinks poorly of himself....

But not all summer birthday kids are like this. Most are totally fine.

And it is also demoralizing to be bored all the time and to have all your subjects come easily. I think it is good for kids to struggle a bit in the early grades. It teaches them early that not everything will always come to them easily and they develop the emotional skills to handle that (with proper support at home and school, and admittedly not all schools are great at this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you think it is bad now, just wait until middle and high school.

I guess. But I'd rather have the problem of a child who is bored compared to a child who is totally demoralized for two years because he can't keep up with the kids in his class, has sloppy handwriting, can't write, and thinks poorly of himself....

It's hard to know what's the right thing.

Someone has to be the youngest, and being the youngest doesn't doom a child to failure. This doesn't have to be hard. We make it hard by thinking we can engineer our kids' futures by gaming the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone has to be the youngest, and being the youngest doesn't doom a child to failure. This doesn't have to be hard. We make it hard by thinking we can engineer our kids' futures by gaming the system.

So would you also agree that someone has to be the oldest, and we make it hard by worrying too much about the ages of any older children in the classroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you think it is bad now, just wait until middle and high school.

I guess. But I'd rather have the problem of a child who is bored compared to a child who is totally demoralized for two years because he can't keep up with the kids in his class, has sloppy handwriting, can't write, and thinks poorly of himself....

It's hard to know what's the right thing.

Someone has to be the youngest, and being the youngest doesn't doom a child to failure. This doesn't have to be hard. We make it hard by thinking we can engineer our kids' futures by gaming the system.

Well, let it be YOUR child then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I merely posted this as just one small example from a BTDT mom who agonized over when her September baby should start K. That's all.

But why would you agonize? You just go by the cutoff date. I mean, why would you agonize over deciding to ask the county to make an exception to the rule for him, rather than going with the cutoff date as it exists for everyone?

Because maybe she knows her child better than the bureaucrats making the one-size-fits-all cookie cutter kid policy? I mean, sure - based on the simplistic tone of your answer it's doubtful that YOU know YOUR kid better than the aforementioned bureaucrats, but she sounds thoughtful. So, she probably does; and consequently thinks about these things.

[Anonymous]

RE full-day pre-K: check out the local Catholic elementary schools --- a handful offer full-day pre-K. (eg: Holy Redeemer in Kensington, St. Jude's in Rockville, etc.) It is essentially the way kindergarten used to be --- a nice mix of academics, socialization, and play-based learning. Plus, they offer all the weekly specials (courtesy of the upper school): music, art, PE, library, etc.

RE being bored: I have friends and relatives who teach for MCPS --- kids aren't allowed to be bored. The teachers in MCPS push as hard as they can to challenge students. FWIW, I know parents who swore their kids who acted out in class were "bored" and not being "properly challenged" --- most of those kids are home-schooled now. If your kid is truly gifted, he/she will be tagged and put on the right path. I know a number of families with kids who ranged from above average to gifted to super-scary-over-the-top brilliant and all parents involved were pleased with MCPS. My teacher-friends and relatives report that the parents who are truly unhappy with a perceived lack of response from MCPS for their "gifted" children are simply folks who haven't come to terms with the fact that their child is bright but by no means gifted.

RE agonizing: I suspect that parents of kids with late summer birthdays (ie: August) worry about whether or not to red-shirt since their kid may have just beaten the Sept 1 cut-off by days/weeks ---- and similarly the parents of kids with September/October b-days worry that perhaps they should try to push their kid forward (since they may have missed the cut-off by days or weeks). Most of my pals who are in the same boat agonized over this --- after all, we all want to do what's best for our kids. If you don't have a kid born in August or September, then perhaps you can't fully appreciate the scenario. For me, I worried about it much more when DC was a toddler --- b/c there's such a huge difference when your almost 3 year old is in a 2 year old class. But things tend to even out over the years and the differences aren't quite so stark.

To all the parents with late summer or early fall b-days, best of luck to you! Things will work out and whatever you decide is best for your child will work out in the end - after all, things tend to have a way of working out in the end. Try not to let the negativity from some folks on this thread get to you --- it's easy to throw rocks anonymously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you think it is bad now, just wait until middle and high school.

I guess. But I'd rather have the problem of a child who is bored compared to a child who is totally demoralized for two years because he can't keep up with the kids in his class, has sloppy handwriting, can't write, and thinks poorly of himself....

It's hard to know what's the right thing.

Someone has to be the youngest, and being the youngest doesn't doom a child to failure. This doesn't have to be hard. We make it hard by thinking we can engineer our kids' futures by gaming the system.

Well, let it be YOUR child then.

It is my child, even though he has a Spring birthday. I don't mind that because I think he'll be fine, but I admit I do kind of resent the fact that there is a very wide range of ages in the class which I don't think it particularly conducive to learning either, and some kids are physically a lot bigger.