Teen with new job eating out too much

[Anonymous]

This is totally normal. I remember how cool it used to be to be able to afford Starbucks fraps. We felt rich. We all used to be mall rats and eat out every meal we could. Like everyone else said it’s just the novelty and it will get old. Let your teen be a teen.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the prevailing sentiment that you are being controlling. You should not be snooping in the kid's bank account!

I would ask him to tell you how much he wants automatically transferred from checking to savings each month, and then set it up.

[Anonymous]

The most important things you can do are:

1. Take a medical approach. Sit down with your teen, list and describe all the family members who are obese and have developed weight-related disease. Describe the pain and suffering involved in detail. Then point out that other countries have much lower rates of obesity and explain how poor nutrition and a junk food lifestyle are causally linked to weight gain. Laying it all out will have an effect, perhaps not immediately, but your child will remember it.

2. Can you help her get a job NOT near fast food?

3. She might gain weight for a while, but all is not lost. If she's smart and has listened to you, at some point she will begin to care about her health and looks, and will act accordingly. It might take a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, your post is so hard to read bc you keep typing "their" (plural)and your DC is singular. Do you have twins?

Not the OP but you’re wrong!

We are supposed to use ‘their’ now to be more gender neutral! It’s widely accepted.

Wait, so now OPs kid is transitioning genders? Seems like fast food is a small issue in comparison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The most important things you can do are:

1. Take a medical approach. Sit down with your teen, list and describe all the family members who are obese and have developed weight-related disease. Describe the pain and suffering involved in detail. Then point out that other countries have much lower rates of obesity and explain how poor nutrition and a junk food lifestyle are causally linked to weight gain. Laying it all out will have an effect, perhaps not immediately, but your child will remember it.

2. Can you help her get a job NOT near fast food?

3. She might gain weight for a while, but all is not lost. If she's smart and has listened to you, at some point she will begin to care about her health and looks, and will act accordingly. It might take a few years.

LOL I hope you are not being serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, your post is so hard to read bc you keep typing "their" (plural)and your DC is singular. Do you have twins?

Not the OP but you’re wrong!

We are supposed to use ‘their’ now to be more gender neutral! It’s widely accepted.

Wait, so now OPs kid is transitioning genders? Seems like fast food is a small issue in comparison.

Possibly? Keep up with the times! Their is now used instead of him/her.

[Anonymous]

This is literally what every teen does at some point. I can understand your health concerns but the kid must be 16 or 17, so the years of being able to really control what food they eat are long gone. You just have to trust that the healthy habits you’ve instilled will prevail.

Also, even with the family history, it’s hard for someone who has always been skinny to ever imagine being fat. I was the opposite. I was always the fat kid and could never imagine how skinny people’s pants stayed up without a little roll of fat to hold them. All teens think they are invincible.

The novelty of being able to buy whatever they want to eat will wear off soon. I still cannot stand popcorn to this day after working in a theater for 2 years. Even the smell used to keep me from seeing movies out for many years.

You said you didn’t restrict junk and you guys ate out, but I bet pre job and car if your kid asked for $10 to go get McDonald’s with friends, you didn’t allow it. That’s being restrictive. The kids whose parents let them eat nothing fun are the ones who always put out when hanging with my kids. My daughter’s vegan friend can put away the wings! She had no choice in being vegan, so she slowly started eating “illegal” foods when she got older and away from her parents.

[Anonymous]

My oldest has been working for awhile and now works full time while going to school. When he started working, we identified what he would have to pay for with his money. It included gas and insurance (which runs $300 a month for his part, so it's no small deal) and work clothes. I also stopped his allowance, so things like movies, holiday gifts, dates, prom, etc., had to come out of his money. I helped him set up a couple of bank accounts - one for his car insurance (it's cheaper to pay annually instead of monthly and given the amount he makes, he needs to save money wherever he can) and one that he could use for spending. We set an example by packing our breakfasts and lunches and eating dinner at home. Also, prior to this, with his school lunch account, he had a daily budget and if he didn't feel it was enough, he could pack more food, but not buy more. I always have him make a list of what he wants for his lunches.

About once a month, I review his spending with him. He was really motivated to buy a car (we had one he could use, but would not buy him one) and an XBox One (he had an XBox so I wasn't buying the XBox One). So, it didn't take long for him to stop the frivolous spending. It didn't take long for him to get the things he wanted. He sometimes spends money on dumb things (IMO), but over time, he's become really responsible with money.

I've come to the conclusion that they have to make mistakes with their money and I have to let it happen, but it is something that drives me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest has been working for awhile and now works full time while going to school. When he started working, we identified what he would have to pay for with his money. It included gas and insurance (which runs $300 a month for his part, so it's no small deal) and work clothes. I also stopped his allowance, so things like movies, holiday gifts, dates, prom, etc., had to come out of his money. I helped him set up a couple of bank accounts - one for his car insurance (it's cheaper to pay annually instead of monthly and given the amount he makes, he needs to save money wherever he can) and one that he could use for spending. We set an example by packing our breakfasts and lunches and eating dinner at home. Also, prior to this, with his school lunch account, he had a daily budget and if he didn't feel it was enough, he could pack more food, but not buy more. I always have him make a list of what he wants for his lunches.

About once a month, I review his spending with him. He was really motivated to buy a car (we had one he could use, but would not buy him one) and an XBox One (he had an XBox so I wasn't buying the XBox One). So, it didn't take long for him to stop the frivolous spending. It didn't take long for him to get the things he wanted. He sometimes spends money on dumb things (IMO), but over time, he's become really responsible with money.

I've come to the conclusion that they have to make mistakes with their money and I have to let it happen, but it is something that drives me crazy.

I think it’s smart they make these mistakes under your roof where you can discuss their spending rather than in college when everyone is throwing credit cards at them. It’s one reason I’m a big proponent of teens getting a job, even if their parents are well off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The most important things you can do are:

1. Take a medical approach. Sit down with your teen, list and describe all the family members who are obese and have developed weight-related disease. Describe the pain and suffering involved in detail. Then point out that other countries have much lower rates of obesity and explain how poor nutrition and a junk food lifestyle are causally linked to weight gain. Laying it all out will have an effect, perhaps not immediately, but your child will remember it.

2. Can you help her get a job NOT near fast food?

3. She might gain weight for a while, but all is not lost. If she's smart and has listened to you, at some point she will begin to care about her health and looks, and will act accordingly. It might take a few years.

Haha, yeah, because a teenager is really going to listen to your stories about pain and suffering. And #2 is unrealistic, most jobs are accessible to some sort of fast food, or junk food (and many offices your child will eventually work in will have more junk food available than a 7-11). Any teen with access to a car or public transit has access to fast food. And they will have tons of access in a year or two when they move away.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is going to school, participating in whatever activities and working part time. That's a heavy schedule.

He's probably legitimately hungry. A yogurt and carrot sticks isn't going to cut it. He is enjoying the newfound freedom of being able to use the money that he has earned to buy himself food that he likes.

Honestly, I think this is fairly typical and that the novelty will wear off. In the meantime, it's o.k. to help him establish a budget where part of the money goes into savings and isn't touched, maybe some of the money goes towards set expenses that he has and some money is set aside for spending. Do not commandeer his check.

[Anonymous]

I weighed maybe 115 pounds as an 18 year old. I ate pizza, fries, tacos, chips and anything else that I wanted. I was also very active - constantly on the go.

If someone had tried to lecture me about obesity, I would have thought they were nuts.

[Anonymous]

I mean, this is how the freshman 15 happens when kids go away to college. You’re just going to go through it earlier. I would leave it alone and soon enough your kid will get tired of the food, or start gaining weight and realize what he’s doing to himself.