Men, do you hold the door for women?

[Anonymous]

I'm 45. I hold it open for women who are close to my age or older, and for kids/teens/girls.

Women between 20ish-35, I will absolutely NOT hold it open for. I've received too many condescending looks the last few years from doing this group, until it finally occurred to me in an epiphany that they were thinking I was using simple politeness as some opening overture to hit on them. There is nothing in the world more conceited or unjustifiably self confident than a thirty year old junior partner at a k street firm in a nice suit, who assumes that every man she passes is lusting after her. And there are thousands of them, lol

Uh, no thanks, hon. I'm happily married to my forty four year old wife of almost twenty years, who I madly love, who can still bang like a porn starlet, despite being a hockeymom. No matter how much Bikram you do, you'll never turn my head from what I have at home.

[Anonymous]

If men are reading this, please keep doing polite things for women - and people in general - like holding doors. I always appreciate it, no matter how capable I am of opening and holding my own doors. And I do it for others. There's always room in the world for more civility and graciousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else kind of hate it when people more than a foot or two ahead hold the door for them? I always feel like now I have to rush to the door so you don't just stand there holding it for me, but I don't necessarily want to jump for the door. If I'm right behind you, then great, but sometimes it seems like people 20 feet away will hold the door and then look back at me. I know they are being nice (and I do say thank you), but I kind of hate it, especially since I know I could have opened it perfectly easily myself.

See! What the hell are guys supposed to do, hold a door or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else kind of hate it when people more than a foot or two ahead hold the door for them? I always feel like now I have to rush to the door so you don't just stand there holding it for me, but I don't necessarily want to jump for the door. If I'm right behind you, then great, but sometimes it seems like people 20 feet away will hold the door and then look back at me. I know they are being nice (and I do say thank you), but I kind of hate it, especially since I know I could have opened it perfectly easily myself.

See! What the hell are guys supposed to do, hold a door or not?

Don't let a door slam in someone's face. Don't wait for someone more than a few steps away, either, unless you see they need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else kind of hate it when people more than a foot or two ahead hold the door for them? I always feel like now I have to rush to the door so you don't just stand there holding it for me, but I don't necessarily want to jump for the door. If I'm right behind you, then great, but sometimes it seems like people 20 feet away will hold the door and then look back at me. I know they are being nice (and I do say thank you), but I kind of hate it, especially since I know I could have opened it perfectly easily myself.

See! What the hell are guys supposed to do, hold a door or not?

That's why I was curious about how many seconds everyone holds the door for an able-bodied, unencumbered person. Again, I say 3-5 seconds. I don't want anyone to feel like I slammed the door in their face and flounced away, but I don't want anyone to feel like they need to drag their three year old along for a fifteen foot sprint, either. About three seconds feels right to me.

[Anonymous]

Male 42, always hold the door, always let women on and off elevators first, always walk on the road side of the side walk.

I have trained my sons similarly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many seconds will you stand and wait for an able-bodied, unencumbered person to walk through the door?
I say 3-5 seconds.

I'm a woman who holds the door a lot. I'm sometimes surprised at the number of women who don't say thanks.

Most white women do not say thanks, minorities women usually do. Also white women will not hold a door for anyone let alone someone encumbered. It must be the way they were raised.

I'm a white woman and I hate to admit that I agree with this. I do hold the door and I always say thank you, but white women are most likely to let it slam in my face.

Crazy thing happened to me last week. I was walking from the parking lot towards the mall entrance where there are two sets of doors. There was a young woman (20s) standing with her back holding the door open. An older woman who looked like her mother was standing in the space between the two doors, rummaging through her purse. I watched them standing there for a good 10 seconds - way too long to stand and hold the door for someone, IMO. To me, it looked like they were waiting to see if they had a receipt or something before going in.

Rather than coming up on them and needing to say, "excuse me," I walked to the next door over. I hear the young woman say loudly to her mother, "Did you see that effin s&%$?! What an effin b&$ch!" and turned around and looked at me. I was shocked but I calmly said, "Oh, were you holding the door for me?" to which she replied, "ummmm....yeah!!" I said, "sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn't realize." She continued to mumble and trash talk me to her mother as I walked behind them until I turned off to go where I was heading.

People are nuts.

[Anonymous]

male 45
I will hold the door open for everybody. Most of the time they will say thank you.
I do open the car door for DW to get into, she thought it was a nice gesture on our first date and I continued afterwards

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45. I hold it open for women who are close to my age or older, and for kids/teens/girls.

Women between 20ish-35, I will absolutely NOT hold it open for. I've received too many condescending looks the last few years from doing this group, until it finally occurred to me in an epiphany that they were thinking I was using simple politeness as some opening overture to hit on them. There is nothing in the world more conceited or unjustifiably self confident than a thirty year old junior partner at a k street firm in a nice suit, who assumes that every man she passes is lusting after her. And there are thousands of them, lol

Uh, no thanks, hon. I'm happily married to my forty four year old wife of almost twenty years, who I madly love, who can still bang like a porn starlet, despite being a hockeymom. No matter how much Bikram you do, you'll never turn my head from what I have at home.

+1. I see this all the time. Being under 30 does not mean every guy is trying to bang you.

[Anonymous]

Yes,

M, 46, raised in Philly and was taught how to be a 'gentleman' in the streets and freak between the sheets

[Anonymous]

I hold the door for both men and women.

[Anonymous]

58 and I usually hold the door for everyone. It's good manners. I don't open the car door for my wife unless we both walk up to the car via the passenger side. If we walk up via the drivers side she's on her own.

[Anonymous]

Yes, manners are important. I'm 36

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many seconds will you stand and wait for an able-bodied, unencumbered person to walk through the door?
I say 3-5 seconds.

I'm a woman who holds the door a lot. I'm sometimes surprised at the number of women who don't say thanks.

Most white women do not say thanks, minorities women usually do. Also white women will not hold a door for anyone let alone someone encumbered. It must be the way they were raised.

So not true! I say thank you every single time, and I hold the door for everybody behind me. OK, you said most, but I can't even believe that .... your race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many seconds will you stand and wait for an able-bodied, unencumbered person to walk through the door?
I say 3-5 seconds.

I'm a woman who holds the door a lot. I'm sometimes surprised at the number of women who don't say thanks.

Most white women do not say thanks, minorities women usually do. Also white women will not hold a door for anyone let alone someone encumbered. It must be the way they were raised.

So not true! I say thank you every single time, and I hold the door for everybody behind me. OK, you said most, but I can't even believe that .... your race?

Are you "most white women" or just a white woman?